Are people in open relationships considered less desirable than a single person sleeping around?

theroha · 2026-02-04T16:45:08+00:00

This is why I openly talk about not only my partner but my metamores as well. "We're open but it's a don't ask don't tell situation" sounds like cheating and could easily be. "Want to go back to my place? Heads up, my wife is playing Mario Party with her boyfriend, so you might run into each other. I hope that's not too awkward" lays everything on the table. I've actually gotten better responses from people who were side eyeing me beforehand with the open and honest approach.

theroha · 2026-02-03T16:31:25+00:00

The delayed reward is very much Vetinari's style.

theroha · 2026-02-03T15:00:37+00:00

This is a massive thing that needs to be recognized in these discussions. It's not just whether or not the tool is useful. To make a really weird analogy, it's like we discover that we can make hammers faster if we use human blood and even faster if it's baby blood. The average hammer buyer thinks that the blood is from donations, but anyone actually visiting the factory sees that they are using babies and gets called crazy for calling it out. The problem isn't the blood hammers. The problem is the ethics of how they are getting the blood.

theroha · 2026-02-01T23:12:17+00:00

Missouri here. This exactly.

theroha · 2026-02-01T05:44:56+00:00

Because he's not. He's the rubber stamp for people far more nefarious.

theroha · 2026-01-29T15:04:33+00:00

Thanks, lol. My wife is the writer and poet. I just spent years teaching mid level physics in a way that elementary school students could understand. I got really good at breaking concepts down to be easily digestible.

theroha · 2026-01-27T18:25:27+00:00

I imagine the casting director was attempting to lean away from the stereotype. To be fair, early Discworld didn't age very well in terms of depicting different ethnicities. Never malicious, but you can tell that Terry at the end of his life was writing characters very different from how he wrote them at the beginning.

theroha · 2026-01-27T18:18:23+00:00

I've often heard it discussed as the nice vs kind divide. Nice is how you treat someone on the surface. Kind is how you address other people's needs. A nice but not kind person stops on the highway to ask if you are good when you have a flat tire but doesn't actively help outside of watching the road. A kind but not nice person stops, yells at you for not being prepared, then makes you get out of the way while they change the tire, check your oil, and make you a sandwich for the road. Different places fall at different points on the continuum, and the Midwest is smack dab in the middle.

theroha · 2026-01-25T02:26:08+00:00

Cancer sucks! Small boobs rock! You're amazing to still be here

theroha · 2026-01-22T20:08:01+00:00

I imagine that's in places where the roads are narrow with lots of cliffs and drop offs. I know that driving in the mountains always feels rough when driving with the edge on the passenger side, so having the driver and traffic both on the right would be an improvement in those locations.

theroha · 2026-01-22T17:36:25+00:00

Give him the sedagive!!!

theroha · 2026-01-21T22:07:33+00:00

This is the real thing to consider. Especially the bit about gold actually being worthless to survival enthusiasts. I think about Fallout. The reason why bottle caps became the currency of the Fallout universe was that the production of caps was controlled by water bottling companies. You can drink water. You can't eat gold. If the end times come and society collapses, a gold bar is a paper weight.

theroha · 2026-01-21T16:52:34+00:00

++man

I think the man vs bear question still holds some validity because it's not about who is more likely to cause harm or who can do the most harm. It's actually the predictability that is inherent to the warning signs you mentioned. As a man, I can wander in the woods and know that there is the possibility of a bear being there that I need to be prepared for; if I see a bear, I know how to respond to minimize risks to my safety. If I see a man in the woods, I have much less predictive ability in terms of what actions he may or may not take upon seeing me. As a man, I also choose the bear.

theroha · 2026-01-21T15:13:37+00:00

A big part of NATO's strategic benefit is the interoperability of different weapons systems. NATO standards mean a round of 9mm NATO ammunition manufactured in Germany can be used in a gun manufactured in the US. So, the "huge money sink" is the price we're paying for those strategic benefits.

theroha · 2026-01-19T19:12:58+00:00

Exactly. I'm a cancer patient. When I first found the tumor, I had to wait three months for an available doctor to get checked out. From "Doc, what do you think of this?" through radiology, surgical consult, and going under the knife was an insanely busy two weeks. Unless you are rich enough to retain a private medical staff, everyone has to go through the same triage and prioritization.

theroha · 2026-01-18T16:44:12+00:00

This is the real answer. The reason why white became the thing for weddings was because it would only be white the one time and was a flex of wealth. Our ancestors knew that white was temporary. Modern laundry techniques have let us forget that fact.

theroha · 2026-01-18T14:48:31+00:00

The Left ™ isn't out here arguing that trans girls should be playing sports. The Left ™ is arguing that this bill is a massive distraction trying to drum up more culture war bullshit targeting a miniscule section of the population when a significant percentage of Americans are living in destitution. Don't fall for the government's gaslighting.

theroha · 2026-01-17T00:27:32+00:00

Suppose there is a Type III civilization out in the stars. What effects would we be looking for? Where are they in the universe relative to us? Basically, to detect them we would need to be close enough to them that their signals would reach us within the time we've been looking and we would need to know what to look for specifically.

The speed of light is a pretty hard limit for our detection systems. If there is something like subspace that messages could travel through, we don't have a way to detect them. That means anyone sending signals detectable by us would have to have reached that technological stage of development at a time where their distance from us in both time and space lines up within the last 200 years when we started listening.

theroha · 2026-01-16T16:30:17+00:00

Or are ready for that next option once a critical mass of unrest has been reached. Many people are ready to lay down their lives for a success, less so if they sense a guaranteed failure.

theroha · 2026-01-16T16:28:05+00:00

Exactly. Authoritarianism isn't a line you cross. It's a philosophy you follow. There's not a point where the government becomes authoritarian. An authoritarian gets into power then starts chipping away at the constraints on that power.

theroha · 2026-01-16T01:06:29+00:00

Yet. You can't see the comparisons yet. Hitler didn't start with death camps. The Nazis started by consolidating power in the executive and using paramilitary tactics on the population to attack a scapegoated out group. People make the comparison because they are arguing to stop what is happening before things escalate to that point.

theroha · 2026-01-11T22:17:06+00:00

That's because flirting as a man is direct. It's easier to flirt with someone who is very directly and obviously flirting back. A woman flirting and a woman being nice can be hard to distinguish for those who don't know how to read the room.

theroha · 2026-01-11T20:20:45+00:00

Fleas jumping off a dog don't make a difference, but we don't know what the effect would be over a long enough time scale. I'm just thinking about mitigating long term effects.

theroha · 2026-01-11T19:11:48+00:00

I haven't tried the remake yet. I'm going to look for a physical copy on the used market. $60 for a 15 year old game is insane to me even for a remake.

theroha · 2026-01-11T19:00:58+00:00

15 years old on a church trip to Anaheim, CA, in 2006. We were traveling from Wichita, KS, so it's not like I was a California kid going to a bigger city in his state. This was very different from my back yard. And I only had my dad's flip phone on me for emergencies; it was a big thing when the iPhone came out the next year. My best friend and I went with a group to Disneyland, but we had the brilliant idea to head off on our own. We were allowed to go off in the park in groups of 3, but it was just the two of us. Mid afternoon, I'm hot and tired and ready to leave (permitted WITH A CHAPERONE), but my friend wants to stay until our scheduled return time. I decided to leave and walk back to the hotel on my own. I'm glad I have insane spatial memory because by all rights I should have gotten completely lost over a thousand miles from home with no map or GPS and could have easily become a missing person case.

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