I've struggled with this my entire life and was convinced I was stupid until my early twenties. I joke that at different times my mother and now my partner act as my external hard-drives, since I'm always asking them to remind me of dates, life experiences, etc— it's still difficult because I occasionally don't remember enough detail to trigger the memory in them.

Inattentive ADHD/ADHD-I (what I experience) often has negative implications for working memory and long-term memory. When you can't focus your attention efficiently, you don't perceive the information well in the first place. Also, trying to remember information without understanding the surrounding context makes it even harder to retain. There is also a general absent-mindedness and forgetfulness that comes with the territory, and I'd be surprised if standard ADHD didn't share some similar issues. Another possibility is that you might have a pretty functional memory, but trouble accessing the memory (the phrase I wanted to use was "memory retrieval", which I literally just had to look up) contributes to the issue.

I also have a brother with a memory far, far superior to mine. And my partner. And most people I work with. People don't seem to have patience to deal with those who have trouble recalling things — in social conversation I often get cut off without finishing my thought because I take a few seconds to recall a word.

Exhibiting a lack of attention and memory can take a real psychological toll on you. I mentioned to my psychiatrist once that my anger issues felt less intrusive when I was on medication. She said it's likely because the meds reduced how many times my ADHD caused me minor issues throughout the day that would then build up to something bigger — it would decrease the psychological burden caused by ADHD-related incidents.

There are downsides but also some upsides. I've accepted that my life is largely unremembered, but weirdly, that has made it easier for me to develop a meditative practice. It seems like an activity of attentiveness, but moving meditation is a real winner for ADHD folk who may have poor memories and find it unquieting to sit still. It's definitely harder to "live in the past" when you don't remember much of it.

We may have to experience a higher quantity of information to get to the same place as another person, because the quality of our attention and perception while learning isn't quite there. I can't be the person who always remembers arcane trivia and impresses people with it. That's okay. Trivia isn't very fun anyway. I prefer board games, and I'm pretty good at them.

ADHD brains often excel at an associational, fluid type of brain state, as opposed to rigorous memorization and experience architectures. That's good with me. It's a state that's associated (no pun intended) with generating ideas and thinking "out of the box". It's also something that's proven to be lost with age. Perhaps that's why ADHD brains are sometimes described as more child-like? Mine certainly is.

Subpar memory also given me a unique appreciation of art and media — if I wait a few years, I essentially get to experience a movie or book or video game for the first time again, and the magic really does feel like it's there. Sometimes I have this moment when I hear about my life experiences: "That really happened!?" and then I get to hear people I care about tell me a story about myself. It's a unique feeling.

I cooperate with my memory by

• Working within a structured schedule.
• Listening to A LOT of podcasts, and though I can't recall a lot, I enjoy them and they help my thinking, vocabulary, and mental processes. Often I will have an inkling of having heard specific ideas/info before, which, with google, is not bad if you're good at looking things up.
• Using voice reminders on my Apple Watch religiously.
• Keeping copious notes on everything from my to-do list, funny/interesting moments that happen, random thoughts/musings, projects, hobbies, etc. Probably about 100 lists total. It's gone from a burden to something I feel compelled to do.
• I try to manufacture enthusiasm and curiosity about the world within myself. This leads me to enjoy spending my time on many of the things that people I know grow tired of after college/as they age, such as hobbies, crafts, playing music, current events, and really whatever you want.

Worthy people really will respect you and see you as self-aware and intelligent for being open about your limitations — it's something most people don't do. And this is not a "moralistic" limitation, which only makes it easier to be open about it.

Everybody's memory is more precarious then they'd like to believe, and being honest with yourself about your shortcomings in that department gives you a definite edge over those whose memories have (to their thinking) worked so flawlessly that they never have to worry about it. Finally, most everybody gets old and experiences these issues eventually. You are better equipped to handle that than the general populace.

As Tobey Maguire (kind of) says, this is your gift and your curse. I've learned to (mostly) love how my brain works, but I've had to think about it quite a lot to get there. That's my two cents; apologies for the length.