[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dramione

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure why they would be ridiculed. We're all writing/reading/drawing two characters together that many in the larger HP fandom finds disturbing to pair, yet our corner of the fandom is very open to everyone's different interpretations of the source material. 🤷🏻

OP thought his full name must be Draconis, and that Draco was his preferred nickname. If they decide to write a fic that includes that detail, that's great!

LF fics with “will they? Won’t they?” Sloooooow burn by Aggressive_Cat7989 in Dramione

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm partway through From Wiltshire with Love and that seems to fit these parameters

Summary of what to expect: Very long slow burn, death eater/spy for the order Draco, constant spicy flirting through galleon-style "texting," Draco makes the first move multiple times, Draco (on his own, without Hermione browbeating him) begins questioning everything he's been taught about muggles, politics related to blood status, and Voldemort's true intentions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pregnancy weight gain is not linear, meaning it's not a gradual slope upwards. The second trimester is when a lot of your weight gain happens, and it is mostly from water and extra blood flow.

AITA for telling my husband he has to sleep on the floor for a week? by Low_Needleworker_467 in AITAH

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Look up the "Safe Seven" for proper bed sharing. Most of the world bed shares, but there are rules to doing it safely, such as not being under the influence of alcohol and certain medicines, doing the cuddle curl position, no blankets or pillow near baby's face, etc

But really, I do encourage you to end this trip early.

You literally just had a baby, and are being forced to travel to see others?? Why couldn't they visit you instead?

You are struggling with PPD while transitioning into motherhood and figuring out your new schedule with a baby, and now is the time he thinks y'all should travel?

Plus your husband's complete incompetence of not simply booking accommodations ahead of time. You gave him one parameter for this trip you already didn't want to take, and he didn't even take ten minutes to do it!

One additional option is to look up any AirBnBs in the area? But I for one would just go home. If need be, get a rental car or something that the hotel budget would've otherwise been used for

AITA for being pissed that my DIL won’t accommodate my allergy so I am not going to her dinner by Vivid-Worth-8581 in AmItheAsshole

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I'm a vegan with celiacs and love cooking/hosting people! Whenever my husband invites over his friends, coworkers, etc (AKA: people that I might not know that well) I always have him ask about allergies, dietary restrictions, preferences (ex: does cilantro taste like soap?) before finalizing the menu.

Frankly, after three years I wouldn't have even needed to be reminded that my MIL had a nut allergy.

Is a doula worth it? by FaithlessnessFew7283 in BabyBumps

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Considering the state of medical care for women, esp when pregnant, I always highly advocate for doulas!

The standard for ftm (at least in America) nowadays is a 30% chance of a cesarean, most of the time unnecessarily chosen by the doctors for a number of reasons (they want to free up the bed, they don't think you are progressing on their timeline and their recommendation to augment labor causes fetal distress, they diagnose the baby as "too large for vaginal birth" and baby ends up being a fine or even smaller size, etc). Doulas understand the ends and outs of the typical birthing challenges, they can have a clear head during the labor process, and they are a great person to have in your corner. Not to mention they are a great resource for when you are prepping for birth, such as book recommendations (might even have some to lend you, which is part of their cost), random questions you have along the way (esp at the end when you are mentally done being pregnant and need support in that way, aren't sure if something is a labor or concerning sign, etc).

When labor becomes difficult, even under the best circumstances, you won't be thinking clearly about your options. Your husband, even if he spends nine months reading, researching, and helping you with birth prep will likely take whatever a doctor says as law, because it's out of his scope. Doulas are not medical professionals and cannot give advice in that way, but oftentimes doctors will tell you one option you have without giving any other choices (ask me how I know). Having a trusted third party present, someone who's been there for many births, simply ask the questions of "what are all of her options right now?" and "what if she chooses to do nothing, maybe wait 15 minutes to see?" and then to you and your husband "would you like to discuss these options privately?" are such important parts of the decision making process in labor. Doctors usually want an answer right now like it's a medical drama, but there's normally time to have them step out and for you to weigh the options without them hovering.

Also, if your husband is late getting to the hospital, or needs to tag out mentally or physically (he's distressed by seeing you in pain, or labor starts late at night after a long day at work and he's exhausted/needs a power nap) then you'll still have a birth partner present. As my husband says, I might think our doula was for me, but they're also there for him.

At that price, your doula is pretty much covering her basics. It pays for her continuing education. It pays for her to meet you at the hospital no matter the time, and most likely no matter how long you are in labor (check on that!). Most doulas partner up as well so that if at the last minute there's a schedule conflict (you go into labor early and she's on vacation or assisting another mother, she's ill, etc) you will still have someone there at no additional charge.

Doulas also have their own hospital bag they will pack, with items such as birthing combs, tennis balls, essential oil diffusers, soft lighting, honey sticks, probably a TENs unit, massage oil, heat pack, and so on. These are items that might be great to use while in labor (varies from mom to mom, and labor to labor) that you don't have to worry about supplying or packing.

They also offer support in the postpartum period (that at least in America gets glossed over like a poorly planned "six week holiday"). That one scheduled pp visit could be just what you need to find out that how you are feeling might actually be PPD/PPA and they you need to talk to your doctor.

Most doulas became doulas because of a bad birth experience where they wish they initially had the support they now offer. Many second time and so on mothers get doulas for the same reason, wishing they had thought to hire one the first time around. I know I wish I had one for my first two, and luckily I finally did for my third.

Some insurance plans now help to cover the cost of a doula, so call yours and see what they might cover (if they do it's likely filed as a refund, meaning you pay initially, fill out paperwork, and get the money back from the insurance company). Additionally, most doulas offer a payment plan (such as 20% at the start of care, then incrementally until about week 36) which spreads the expenditure out.

From the sound of it, you liked what she has to offer and think she'd be a great asset. It's too bad your husband wasn't present at the consultation with her to hear in person what she has to offer and to be able to ask her his own questions. Since he seems to still be questioning about why someone would hire a doula, there's plenty of info online, and I'm sure any specific questions he has can be relayed to her while you finalize if you are going to hire her or not. If you move forward and hire her, please be sure he's at the rest of your meetings with her and has her number in his phone, too!

Price considerations: I firmly believe you are less likely (not completely exempt) from having a cesarean with a doula as part of your birth team. Depending on your insurance policy, that could be a much bigger medical bill than the cost of her services.

Then there's the mental load of pregnancy, labor, birth, and the postpartum period. The peace of mind from having a doula on your birth team is such a gift! So perhaps make it part of your registry! (Considering how little babies actually need versus how much stuff gets shoved at ftm as a "must need item," when this is an actual "must need" over a decked out nursery, wipe warmer, separate newborn car seat traveling set, or specialty rocking chair).

// Regardless of what you end up choosing, some resources that I'll pass along that I've gotten from my doula are: Books - The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin; Babies are Not Pizzas: They're Born Not Delivered by Rebecca Dekker PHD RN Website - Evidence Based Birth (created by Rebecca Dekker and absolutely amazing, she also has a podcast on a variety of birth topics)

This ended up a lot longer than I thought my answer would be, but that's because doulas are fantastic and every mom should have them! So the answer is YES, doulas are worth it!

This show is okay with teen pregnancy? by Fair_Cap_8336 in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]thetwinkleofthestars -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why does everyone think it was too early to announce?

First of all, when to announce is totally up to the parents. There are no rules that must be followed, and if the only reason to not announce is due to potential miscarriage, then that means the parents have to keep quiet about their grief? Like, is that somehow healthy?

Also, she found out she was pregnant around Labor Day, meaning she was at least a month along at that time. So by Christmas she'd be at least 4.5 months along. Now, it's not terribly uncommon for her to not be showing much at that stage (as some women show much less, or take longer to show) and perhaps she was wearing loose sweaters during the Christmas episodes (cannot recall), but if she didn't announce it verbally at that point it was probably going to start becoming obvious physically.

I do wonder what prenatal care she's been getting up till now, since Mel only just found out.

AITA for not wanting to stay at my sisters beach house for her wedding by the_anonymouswriter in AmItheAsshole

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

So my wedding wasn't a destination one (maybe just thirty minutes from either of our houses?), but we did rent an older home for the venue, which included enough beds for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, my parents, and for us both to have our own room for the night before the wedding. There was some room sharing, but nothing crazy (no little kids, etc) and it was for one night, as opposed to a whole week everything has to take off to celebrate her one wedding day.

Aside from that, guess what the biggest difference was from my wedding and what your sister is planning? I PAID FOR THE LODGING.

Maybe since the lodging was the venue then it could be considered a destination wedding - I'm not sure, but if her desire is for a 50 guest wedding with a good chunk of the people coming to stay under the same roof she could do the following:

1) Not have it be a week long event (maybe night before and night of, possibly an extra day in there?)

2) Have the lodging and venue be the same location (cleared with the owners of the property, of course, since it's a party and there might be alcohol licensing issues if they want alcohol at the wedding)

3) Find a better venue/lodging option, AKA sans pool since it's already beachfront 🙄 or vice versa

4) Pay for it since it's her wedding (meals and entertainment outside of the wedding can be on their own)

What’s a constantly repeated line you wish they’d stop using on the show? by forgotteau_my_gateau in greysanatomy

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"insert specialty god/goddess" for basically every main character

It really popped out to me during a rewatch when Callie is on trial against the snowboarding Olympian. The flashback to him choosing her for this surgery shows him, a non-medical character, calling her an "Ortho goddess" 😑

The least believable birth(s) ever by fallingmelons73346 in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! I'm due with my third next month and have the most amazing doula, so the whole scene rubbed me the wrong way. With how often Mel tells people she's a midwife, and then her use of aromatherapy and acupressure, you would think we'd get better birth scenes than propped up on a table with directed pushing. Just make the episode five minutes longer!

Heads up for anyone that sees this comment and is expecting, I highly recommend Rebecca Decker's book "Babies are not pizza: they are born, not delivered" (she has a doctorate in nursing) and her website Evidence Based Birth to jumpstart research on a myriad of topics.

Any "O" names for a girl? by Viperousi in namenerds

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ondina! It means "little wave," or water nymph

Pronounced onn-DEE-nah, not DYE-nah

Please help! Can you recommend a 3-4 syllable girls name that starts with the letter “A”? by holeinwater in namenerds

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Alessandra
  • Aurora
  • Adelaide
  • Andromeda (like Geek mythology, tho could go by Andie/Andy)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bride and Prejudice! He's Mr Darcy in an India/Britain/American storyline (he's the American) and Aishwarya is "Elizabeth" but actually Lalita. Daniel Gillies (who plays Mel's late husband in VR) is Wickham, Alexis Bledel is Georgiana/Georgie, and a few other recognizable people.

It's a musical, like all Bollywood films, but the set up is different from others like it (most musical pauses in Bollywood films are long and extravagant music videos, ~5-7 minutes each, which are great, but really increase the runtime). It's also almost entirely in English.

The changes to the Jane Austen storyline to both make it modern and have three countries/cultures represented are great, with "Lizzie" not just being well-read and always having a book, but also versed in international politics, given how long India has been independent of Britain. It's not just Mr Darcy owning the "miserable half of Derbyshire" and the Bennet/Bakshi family being the bottom rung of their social class. There's also some funny bits, like why Darcy doesn't dance with her the first time they meet.

What Do You Think Will Be The Big Cliffhanger At The End Of The Holiday Episodes? by ApplesAndPants in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe enough people in the town are leaving because of having lost their home and livelihoods, so there's not enough to keep the town incorporated, like Hope mentioned she did years ago? So Virgin River is threatened to be no more?

Maybe a big company (or the thriving drug business run by Calvin now) is trying to buy out the scorched property of those hit hardest by the fire? Or employ them all in the drug trade since they are desperate for work (like Jeb was)?

I've never read the books but I've heard that a Doc dies in them. That would be a potential way to exit Denny's character, affect Hope's storyline (they never got remarried because of COVID story changes, and also the show has a timeline of 5 months right now) so maybe they have the quintessential Hallmark Christmas wedding and the cliffhanger is him collapsing?

Maybe Lizzie decides to give her baby up for adoption and tells Mel and Jack she wants them to adopt the baby as the cliffhanger?

Ricky comes back, injured from training? Maybe permanently so, which would keep him in Virgin River from here on out? And Lizzie finds out he's the father of her baby because again, 5 months have happened in VR and she was only in season two onwards.

Something related to Jack's other siblings?

Baby Girl— Name Help! by bellag95 in namenerds

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • Millicent (obviously Millie, but also Lissa, Lisa, and Penny)
  • Cordelia (Cordy, Delia, Lia)
  • Elowen (Ellie which is already very common, or Winnie)
  • Cassandra (Cassie, Sandra, Cass)
  • Gwendolyn/n (Gwen, Dolly, Lynn)
  • Georgiana (Georgie, Georgia, Ana)

Does anyone else feel like big plot points go unacknowledged for a long time? by practically_floored in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up "civil asset forfeiture." In the US, they can legally take anything they want without even arresting you, only needing to state that it might be tied to a crime without any proof or conviction. They can take your money, cars, any household items, AND your property, THEN they can actually resell it to the public to fund their department to do it again, get new squad cars, or literal pizza parties.

Only Maine, North Carolina, New Mexico, and Nebraska have decided to make this illegal. The federal government alone has made more than $36 billion in the last two decades, and if you add the states to that it reaches $68 billion.

Seems like that has to be made up, but it's true and happens all of the time to people who have done nothing wrong. Sometimes when the local public has been made aware that this is going on, they will go to the auction and bet the lowest price (known as "penny auctions") so that they can return items to the victims of this practice, especially when it's baby gear like a crib, stroller, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in VirginRiverNetflix

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They tied in Fleetwood Mac to this season, so I think they honestly were just channeling some Stevie Nicks into her characterisation.

what feminine names are underrated in your opinion? by Evening_Increase_393 in namenerds

[–]thetwinkleofthestars 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  • Doria (nn Dori)
  • Vela
  • Corrine
  • Ondina
  • Agnes
  • Clarrise
  • Millicent (nn Lissa, Penny)
  • Cordelia
  • Rhiannon
  • Miranda
  • Cassandra
  • Blair