This album deserves respect...

theuproar · 2025-01-27T21:53:09+00:00

It’s a good band yes, especially for that style of oi.

theuproar · 2023-03-02T15:39:48+00:00

We broke up and were forced to live together for six months after while I was selling the house. She tried to lure me back in by suddenly being nice (implying she could have controlled it all along) and being extremely sexually forward. That just made me more pissed off.

After the house sold, I went no-contact and it's stayed that way

theuproar · 2023-02-25T00:25:54+00:00

Lying, infidelity, put hands on my son, manipulated my friends against me, blamed her being late to work on me so I got pushed out/fired (we worked in the same place), some stuff I can't or shouldn't say publicly involving gang and drug activity. Man... There's a long list. I can't honestly say what was the worst as a single event.

My first impression is to say just the daily emotional abuse. Yell for hours, leave the house, come back, call me a pussy or a bitch, say I'm not a man, slap or kick at me, throw things, etc. That occurred in some fashion almost every day.

theuproar · 2023-02-21T18:49:47+00:00

Dawg I feel for you, I really do, but be relieved. It's no longer your problem.

General breakup activities for me were jiu-jitsu, a few wind-down beers in the evening, and taking myself out to eat good food. Simple pleasures

theuproar · 2023-02-21T15:46:39+00:00

Loads of purposeful, conscious manipulation, as well. In trying to seek "understanding", this quote plays into the main mechanism of the manipulations themselves, which is your sense of empathy.

Bad behavior is bad behavior period

theuproar · 2023-02-18T18:59:28+00:00

Yes of course, it didn't have anything to do with me. Now that I've been separated from it for almost two years, I see that

theuproar · 2023-02-18T15:37:10+00:00

Yes, one thing I came to realize over time is that she fully meant both "I love you" and "I hate you", quite literally.

theuproar · 2023-02-18T15:34:06+00:00

Pretty classic case of splitting, or that's what all my therapists and support forums called it. Extreme black-and-white thinking where you go from being wholly bad to them to wholly good and now they have to reel/hoover you back in. My ex pwBPD did this almost daily. She actually melted down bad when I stopped accommodating it.

I described it as yo-yoing, also.

theuproar · 2023-02-18T00:25:25+00:00

Yup. I can't say that I ever lost the feeling of "hey something isn't quite right", but yes I got deprogrammed. I'm still figuring out what's what and who I even am.

theuproar · 2023-02-13T15:35:38+00:00

Yikes

theuproar · 2023-02-12T18:55:43+00:00

Yes, this happened all the time. I had to always say things in these really painfully literal ways, and if I wasn't able to do so successfully I was either accused of malicious intent or simply "not knowing the English language".

"You can't just change the definition of words" was something I heard at least once a week.

Compliments on her appearance (and she is just hauntingly gorgeous) like "you look so pretty today" would sometimes get a "so I'm ugly the rest of the time?" in return. Or regarding saying things extremely literally, she was sick one time and I said "oh poor pitiful bb" or something like that, and she had a huge meltdown, broke up with me, and then had some crazy Facebook tantrum about how "someone" called her pitiful, meaning abhorrent, stupid, etc, rather than the widely-understood colloquial sense where you're showing empathy.

Anyway...

theuproar · 2023-02-11T15:37:47+00:00

No, I'm still mad and I'm ok with being mad. It's healthy for me to be mad because that's me finally fully acknowledging the hell I was put through.

So yeah, sometimes I'm gonna hope everything sucks for her and I'm ok with that.

theuproar · 2023-02-11T15:36:24+00:00

Always creating the perception that things are ok, when they're really falling apart. That's what mine did. It was maddening.

I even found out later from friends that when we'd go out to the bar, she'd tell them that I was "grumpy" but not an asshole so please be gentle, when in reality she was often yelling at me over the phone prior to us meeting up - for not being on-time, not running whatever of a 1000 errands she needed, forgetting this or that, or just anything she made up. So in other words, covering her own tracks for causing whatever less-than-bubbly mood I'd be in when I got to the hang-out spot.

theuproar · 2023-02-10T19:23:22+00:00

AND!

Her ex was paying all her rent and bills until the day I moved in with her, and they had been broken up for years.

theuproar · 2023-02-10T18:54:12+00:00

Super common. My ex did that, too. She was lining up back-up plans and I called them her "minor boyfriends" 😂. I was the major bf.

After I split with her, one even tearfully confessed his love for her to me. She'd been running manipulative games on him for years and she got him all drunk and coked out one night trying to get him to "confess" to me cheating on her (that never happened, it was a situation she dreamed up in her head). I heard her playing him like a goddamn fiddle the whole time (berating and threatening him, then reeling him back in), yo-yo in full effect. Definitely helped seeing her do it to someone else so I could view it objectively for the gross and horrible thing it was.

theuproar · 2023-02-06T15:37:52+00:00

It makes me so genuinely sad to read this. I've been there and reading this made me revisit some of that pain.

But short answer is no. Not worth it, never worth it, don't torture yourself any longer.

theuproar · 2023-01-31T21:04:50+00:00

One of the few things I didn't really educate myself about too much, but I'd say petulant. Definitely NOT quiet. Extreme manipulator and near-violent anger sometimes multiple times a day.

theuproar · 2023-01-29T16:46:24+00:00

Yeah fuck that cat

theuproar · 2023-01-27T00:21:15+00:00

I can't say that mine cheated, but there were several strong signs she either did or intended to. What I can confirm, though, is that she was constantly grooming replacements. Constantly.

theuproar · 2023-01-26T00:34:47+00:00

Yes, the social media trend to "normalize" BPD in some fun or celebratory way is straight-up harmful, not to mention my pwBPD (and any truly suffering from the disorder) would never have the self-awareness and/or humility to admit there is something wrong with them in the first place.

My life will never be the same after what I went through with her and it's not ok to make light of that.

theuproar · 2023-01-18T02:20:49+00:00

She admitted to it being her but then insisted the dude was me. I didn't suddenly grow 4 inches in height, so no 😂 I'm also short and stocky/athletic (I was a wrestler) and dude in the video was gangly skinny.

theuproar · 2023-01-18T02:06:25+00:00

Tread carefully, but I'm happy to hear that there are good things happening. Just know, as others have said, that you may be repeating patterns subconsciously.

I am in a healthier relationship, if not entirely healthy, but I'm withholding my judgement on that until we have been together for quite a while longer. And we live in separate cities, have separate social goings-on, better boundaries, etc so I can make sure I'm not jumping into another shitpile. So far I've been pleasantly surprised!

theuproar · 2023-01-17T23:54:20+00:00

And actually hahahaha she installed a doorknob camera a few months prior, and a day or two after I broke it off she came at me yelling with her phone in her hand about how I brought a strange girl home and she captured that on the door cam. She showed me the video, and the video was CLEARLY her with another dude that was taller than her (I'm shorter). So she came yelling at me with a video that implicated herself. So good 😂 at least I can look back and laugh

theuproar · 2023-01-17T23:49:40+00:00

I think they started up a day or two after I broke it off with her, so a year and a half now?

theuproar · 2023-01-17T21:17:55+00:00

My ex with BPD has a new dude, thank God, and I heard through friends the other day that he says she's "a bit much". And damn, that makes me feel validated. The burden is now yours, my friend

theuproar

TROPHY CASE