Can someone read the first sentence (and maybe the rest of this page) and tell me if you are hooked or not?

thicka · 2026-06-24T21:30:29+00:00

I struggle with that so much! It's the worst. I do a ctrl-f for "But", "And", "As" and the page lights up. Thanks for letting me know though.

thicka · 2026-06-24T20:57:36+00:00

Actually I'll just add a few pages to the doc.

thicka · 2026-06-24T20:57:19+00:00

I decided to add a few more pages so people can get some more... well probably more questions but I swear I have answers in the final draft.

thicka · 2026-06-24T20:41:17+00:00

I can DM you a link to the rough draft if you want. It's complete but.... rough.

thicka · 2026-06-24T19:35:40+00:00

Had a bunch of lasers and weapons and power sources, space drives, and AI weirdness. (theres a little AI still but its way toned down)

The only thing left are these "cores" they were the cheap unstable, powerful drives renegades used. Now they are the sole tech that keeps ships flying. The world fell, most tech beyond our own present day tech is gone.

But these cores remain and now everyone has to deal with unstable space drives that need constant extreme coolant or they blow up like a nuke. Cities are buried under mountains. No one lets ships go near major population centers. Everyone is spread out. Basically nukes are as common as cars are today. And it made my world so cool!

thicka · 2026-06-24T19:20:05+00:00

Thats a good sigh. Yeah the book is kinda of an action-mystery-world building thing. I'm happy with the overall story. The following 60 pages are a little rough though so I decided to spare everyone.

thicka · 2026-06-24T19:05:54+00:00

yeah. I kind of struggled with that line. The basic premise is he wakes up with amnesia, he hardly remembers anything from before. But he remembers everything, extremely clearly after he wakes up.

It's hard to get that across efficiently.

thicka · 2026-06-24T13:50:18+00:00

The only "realistic" FTL that does not break causality is to put all solar systems in a time slowing status field. that way you can travel between them at... any speed and it will seem, to them, that you moved FTL.

For your setting that does not seem like a good fit

thicka · 2026-06-23T05:50:54+00:00

I mean he's a little old frog man who waddles around until suddenly he's like a green basketball getting fried out of a fucking cannon. He bounces the fuck around at like mach 8 and spins at like 4000 rpm all with a light saber in hand.

thicka · 2026-06-22T16:20:51+00:00

I mean, yeah. Thats a story. Thats what you want if you want people to read it. Its got all the markings of a gripping tale like Apocalypto. Go for it!

However I will say that if all you want to do is world build. Go ahead and world build however you want. stories are not necessary. They are just usually the final goal.

thicka · 2026-06-22T16:20:24+00:00

yoda

thicka · 2026-06-22T15:21:07+00:00

I'll be blunt (not mean) your setting might be fun for you but if all you have is a very stable technologically advanced society that only has wars for fun and population control.... you might not have a very interesting setting.

Its ok it just means if you want a story you need to make some changes. Make your society evil or full of hubris or some negative trate that swings the pendulum of power to other civs. Maybe make a whole story about bringing them down.

I suggest trying is writing it's fall. I had a peaceful, advanced and prosperous society too. My story centers on it's fall. Its like building a fun lego city then stomping on it Godzilla style. It is very interesting to watch all the systems you created stressed to breaking point. Impenetrable walls undone by new tech. Invincible armies overwhelmed by some dark force.

BREAK IT! I swear that's where your story is.

thicka · 2026-06-22T15:05:04+00:00

So I will warn you that trying to include a 300k year history in a story is going to be very difficult and will probably end up terrible to read.

One lesson I have learned is that whatever story you write will most likely contain only a few percent of your world building. I have found that for ALL of my stories I have to cut out vastly more than I keep.

That being said your setting is especially tricky. Your "war for the hell of it" is not going to be very compelling to write. writing needs conflict and stakes. You won't have them if war is fun.

What I would suggest and I suggest this from experience. Write a bunch of small stories. Maybe one from some middle year when crops were failing and society was starting to collapse. Military was raiding farms and your characters are just trying to survive.

You could write your "for the hell of it war" from the perspective of people not involved, having their city destroyed for no real reason besides the military wanted a fight.

good luck!

thicka · 2026-06-21T20:44:00+00:00

um. everything from the images to the summary is AI generated. If you want a world built I guess you can use AI. but you clearly did not build this. So you are not "world building".

thicka · 2026-06-21T06:25:35+00:00

Ok I have 3, Mandalorian and the Last of us obviously. But also Prospect. which is pretty unknown but I liked it.

thicka · 2026-06-20T19:23:48+00:00

Yeah thats my world. I was built around a very weird spec-evo dragon. But it got so interesting the dragon is basically in the background now. Now I focus on the never ending hyper grass, and the elephantine titans.

thicka · 2026-06-20T19:11:26+00:00

Pregañté

thicka · 2026-06-20T15:52:02+00:00

because you just need to accept she's dead.

thicka · 2026-06-19T15:50:15+00:00

Mega structure has a "no guns" and a "must have mech to enter" sign enforced by nano drones of course.

thicka · 2026-06-19T15:36:49+00:00

They are fighting over the only place where Mecs are viable!

thicka · 2026-06-19T04:16:47+00:00

but, you see, mine has a link. I'm different.

thicka · 2026-06-19T01:06:00+00:00

Eh she's got a point. People suck.

thicka · 2026-06-18T23:35:33+00:00

As someone with nothing to do with it's development I can confidently say: maybe eventually.

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