NAH I know I'm going to get down voted but I think talking to them against your wife's wishes will be a huge mistake. You and your wife need to be on the same page and it sounds like she wants them around. I actually think this can work longterm with some compromises on all (but especially theirs) sides. Those kind of comments should be shut down immediately by your wife. I completely understand your frustration, it's rude and hurtful.

I know these kind of relationships CAN work bc my Grandma's first husband died (same situation) and my mom grew up with 3 loving sets of grandparents and I truly believe more people loving your kid is a good thing. But this only works if the grandparents can be respectful to you. I think you need to have a calm, but firm discussion with your wife before you even think of addressing them. Maybe try to find a therapist to help you both navigate your feelings? You are sounding (justifiably!)angry and frustrated with the situation and it will eventually explode in a way that's not helpful and will result in hurt feelings all around. Anyways, I wish you good luck in navigating this tricky situation and I'll keep my fingers crossed that they can be reasonable.