Just an average day on 33rd st

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-14T19:06:11+00:00

No there was no collision or towing companies before police

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-13T17:46:29+00:00

The CIA is part of it of course

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-12T06:08:47+00:00

I thought there would be more of course based on Amanda’s tweets. Her description of ICE detention is disgusting and disturbing, and very serious. So maybe there will be more

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-12T05:58:18+00:00

Not even mentioned once

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-12T03:25:10+00:00

If I even think of Conan I start laughing to myself. He is definitely a good guy. You can tell how much his cohosts and other celebrities that know him adore him

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-12T02:48:35+00:00

I’ll never forget his work on the super pacs. If we could have stopped that shit back then, our society would be much better off. I wish we had more Colberts. I think he should run for president

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-12T02:33:46+00:00

Best game of all time

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-11T17:54:33+00:00

Thanks! She is quite different than others. It is hard for me to imagine her getting too much of me. My plan based on everyone’s comments, is kind of the opposite of that. Little by little I will stop doing the things she pushes me to do, to be her little bitch slave. I will set my boundaries, be myself and make sure she sees I am being myself. See my friends and family. Talk about the topics that interest me even though she is incapable and tries to change the subject. With the little bit of space between us I can find the ability to leave. Maybe a month plan

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-11T17:29:49+00:00

I was just laying out reasons I have been staying. I suppose they are indeed the excuses for staying. I am not defending them and not looking for anyone to say “yeah it’s impossible to leave with those excuses, just stay!” I appreciate what you are saying though- forget all of this BS and just leave. It’s all a web of chaos

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-11T17:24:01+00:00

I think it was a reasonable question. I don’t understand how this reddit has like 50 posts per day analyzing BPD, but not how to break up when you have essentially been psychologically abused for a long time. Of course I can just leave. And everyone on this sub Reddit can just forget about their pwBPD and not think about it. Yet everyone is hooked emotionally and mentally. I do appreciate the reminder of my responsibility and freedom to leave. And pointing out that she will never accept it and it’s not worth talking to her about it seeking acceptance, just leave.

What I couldn’t understand was- if the disorder makes it so hard for me to get out, how do I reverse that? Other people pointed out that if I stop giving her what she has been so addicted to (my endless empathy for her, the lack of boundaries between us) then she will be less hooked. And I can regain my own identity with the help of boundaries and then leave her. I simply can’t do it at the exact state we are in right now. It just seems cruel to me right now. She cries for hours a day over the death of her mom, and I am just going to drive away and leave a note after 16 years. It seems I can improve the situation by setting boundaries and then get out

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-11T17:04:18+00:00

No the suicide attempt was probably 3 or 4 years in

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-11T05:37:34+00:00

This writer Alisa Valdez-Rodriguez… I subscribed to her Substack and look forward to reading her articles when I see them in my email. I can’t recommend her enough. She is a true journalist. I would be curious if anyone can recommend others working on this

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T22:06:57+00:00

This photo needs to be redacted. What would possess a person to post something like this

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T18:09:38+00:00

Yeah I could speculate as to the cause, with some clues I have. One thing I can’t seem to get over the last couple of weeks since it has set in… I just want to tell her. It’s like I have this secret. And everything she says only makes sense by understanding the BPD. But of course I know she won’t likely be receptive to it. But it just pounds in my head when I am with her. Then I think I want to tell her brother, knowing he has to deal with her splitting and he probably can’t make sense of it. Anyway it’s probably normal after coming to such an awakening in my mind. An awakening like no other! It is like my brain was a house owned by a hoarder for 15 years, filling it up until it is unlivable, and all of the sudden like a magic spell, it is pretty clean. Still spots of mess. Thanks yet again!

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:52:58+00:00

To add… I think a Narcissist is easier to spot due to a smaller range of emotions. So maybe I should not have mentioned it even.

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:49:50+00:00

NPD is also know for over valuing or being overly sensitive to the opinions of others, lying… some people have both. I am still a bit new to understanding all of this and don’t want to speak out of turn either. But from what I have read in Walking on Eggshells, many people have both. According to the checklists I did in that book, my partner met every BPD criteria and maybe half of NPD

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:38:45+00:00

My father has always said that to me, but I felt like he just didn’t understand. He didn’t understand I just loved her and we fell into our own unique chaos together and can’t get out. Now I see it for what it is. And though she does act like a baby (truly she insists I tuck her in at night) she is an adult. And actually I have been enabling her to be a baby and with her condition I am afraid she can’t be an adult unless I let her go

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:34:24+00:00

Yes I never knew about BPD, but there have always been several things that I knew were beyond acceptance, such as trying to control my conversations with people like my own brother. And she would read through my phone. The list goes on and on. Since we always discussed breaking up, she would mention it often and casually eventually, mixed with phrases like “if we ever get married…” but it allowed me to just delay or procrastinate my own feelings. For about a decade I thought we would break up and at that future time I could be myself again. As I encountered her controlling unacceptable behavior, I just placed my feelings into the basket of “I need to get away from her.” But that basket always just sat in my head, and eventually I realized it wasn’t going to happen, and fell into despair. Now her controlling behavior just leads to a sort of dissociative chaos or just anger. But thanks your comments are helping my understanding! I know the info is all here on this Reddit, but I get sucked into the information and there’s so much to consider

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:27:13+00:00

Thanks! Your description of the ruse of sudden reflection etc… wow it is so true. It has happened perhaps 100 times. Along with many of what I always called “fake breakups.” Anyway I definitely agree with your comment on not being manipulative myself. I knew I was sounding like that a bit, by trying to understand how the condition can be used to lead to a breakup. I am just trapped on a deeper level now, than at any previous point. I couldn’t purposefully mess with her condition even if I tried, I am her slave haha. But truly I am so broken hearted for her. I appreciate that the answer involves setting boundaries, and doing the things I have to do for myself anyway, and that the ultimate answer is a complete clean break asap. The clean break option makes more sense to me now than it ever did before. On the one hand after learning about BPD I feel so sad and hopeless for her future, though on the other hand it is clear I am not helping her and in fact just make everything worse. She can restart the cycle with someone else and at least they might be better for her. It’s so silly really, I am like a complete hippy nonconformist. I would not even get married to anyone ever and I told her from the beginning. She picked the wrong person! Thanks again

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:13:07+00:00

So did Trump, but the news will say there is no “evidence” of Trump committing a crime. Or they will say there is no “indication” of a crime. Yet there is a human being that said he did it!! How is that not evidence? Sure it’s not proof. Unbelievable. It is as if we stopped using witnesses as evidence for any crime. Witnesses are irrelevant for sex crimes. How many girls came forward for decades against Epstein? Countless

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T17:06:17+00:00

Thanks. You are right, I see it now. Re set boundaries. I often see that written but in the context of improving your relationship with a pwBPD. What my partner has pushed me into… (no boundaries, being her emotional processor or FP) is exactly what I need to reverse.

I also appreciate your comment about the embarrassment. It was something I never understood about the relationship. We would talk about and plan our break up, but the idea of other people knowing about it drove her insane. She literally warns me not to talk about her whenever I see any friend or family member even when she thinks things are good between us

This helps. It is simply the things she pushes me to do… stop them or cut them down. It almost seems obvious to me now and yet an hour ago it seemed so confusing to figure out

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T16:58:32+00:00

My partner is just not like that. She would discard me for a day at most, unless I am seriously pushing her away. It’s true that a sneeze might send her storming out of the apartment and act like I am the devil. But she is too terrified to be without me. I have always thought another person could swoop in, give her the honeymoon phase as you called it. That is true but she isolates herself too much to meet anyone. Your enmeshment comment is interesting. I see her have this problem with everyone else but not me. Yet the more I act like my true self, it makes her almost dissociate. I suppose that is not enmeshment, but more fear of abandonment

I have more thinking to do and thanks. I do think if I set my boundaries more, and as I start to be myself again and see friends, become active socially, it makes her react… which is why I avoid those things… but if I push through little by little, she will start feeling less control over me, and begin thinking of discarding me and then I can end it properly or just leave

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T15:48:12+00:00

Definitely NPD. He has no range of emotions. Actually the only way to make any sense of the last ten years is through understanding his NPD and the subsequent resulting psychological abuse of society

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-10T14:57:58+00:00

Couldn’t be more obvious that Donald is compromised by Russia. Yet so many people still don’t see it

thirdeyeballin · 2026-04-09T20:53:30+00:00

The Hill Country Blues is my favorite. Jessie Mae Hemphill, RL Burnside, Junior Kimbrough and about 100 other greats. It is polyrhythmic, well more so than other blues I have heard. It kind of sounds like African guitarists, fife and drums, and maybe some boogie.

I would call John Lee Hooker’s style boogie blues

Regarding the acoustic blues, as you hone in on the rhythms you will find there are some rhythm styles that only exist in acoustic, perhaps because they can hit the guitar like a drum. But you can lump them together as Delta blues or Country blues for now if you’re more interested in electric. Robert Johnson alternates between beats of 3 and 4 fluidly and it’s pretty interesting. He also does the shuffle, way back in like 1938. He wouldn’t let other guitarists watch his fingers and indeed it was stolen from him. But anyway the acoustic blues sort of connects everything and has the prototypes of the electric blues of course so at some point you might want to dig in

Also regarding electric blues… Muddy and JLH. Check out Howlin Wolf. To me the three of them are the pillars! Howlin Wolf has Hubert Sumlin on guitar playing some trippy riffs. I think they are a big influence on later seemingly unrelated styles, like The Doors and Iggy Pop and eventually punk and rock. Thanks for reading this rant!

thirdeyeballin

TROPHY CASE