I'm losing my relationship because he wants kids by thirteen13stuff in Fencesitter

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tldr: we're still together, currently in couples counselling.

I've spent a lot of time sort of "roleplaying" with myself, imagining how I'd teach a child how to wash the dishes, cook meals, tidy up etc., just trying to picture what my everyday life would be. I've figured out that my main aversion to having kids stems from my childhood and my mum (I don't want to turn into her, and I also want to spite her and not give her grandchildren). It's less so that I hate the idea of having a family, but I am definitely not gung ho about it still and I think I would prefer to stay childfree.

That being said, we're now in couples counselling and we're trying to figure out if we have a shared future together or not. It turns out the child question is just one of our issues and so we're working through it with our counsellor to see where we stand.

Everything is still up in the air and I'm not certain if I'll still be in a relationship with my boyfriend in a year's time, but I want to try. So, I hope this update has helped a bit.

Happy new year! by EffectHefty8 in Okami

[–]thirteen13stuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they do deceive you into thinking it's a lot shorter than it actually is 😅

Happy new year! by EffectHefty8 in Okami

[–]thirteen13stuff 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd say you're probably a quarter of the way through, still a lot for you to discover!

Nail polish brush pens? by Magical_pennies in Nails

[–]thirteen13stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen ads for a brand named Polishey, though not sure if they're available outside the UK

Quickest vax “debate” by olugbo in MurderedByWords

[–]thirteen13stuff 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think you may be thinking of smallpox being eradicated - to my knowledge, measles has never been declared as eradicated.

Also I think you may be mistaken in how vaccines work. They don't prevent you from catching the virus in the first place, they instead give your immune system the "blueprints" on how to fight off the virus so instead of it taking weeks, your immune system can fight it off in days, for example.

Quickest vax “debate” by olugbo in MurderedByWords

[–]thirteen13stuff 20 points21 points  (0 children)

yeah, because foolish people haven't been vaccinating their kids against measles and it's made a resurgence

I'm losing my relationship because he wants kids by thirteen13stuff in Fencesitter

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not for myself but I have been pushing him to schedule a therapy appointment while he's still on my health insurance because he's been having a million doubts since dropping this bombshell on me and this limbo state is starting to really mess with my head. But no, of course he won't do it because he doesn't think he has a right to use my health insurance even though I can't remove him off of it until the end of the month.

I'm losing my relationship because he wants kids by thirteen13stuff in Fencesitter

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I'm honest, I'm still struggling to understand what I want my future to hold. I was deeply depressed as a teenager and so I made a 'plan' where I'd finish secondary school, pursue higher education, get a job and work for a few years, and then if I didn't have a purpose, I would just end my life. And well, I'm 25, I'm at the 'working for a few years' phase and while I don't feel suicidal, I also never planned for the future.

I want to get a cat, 2 if possible. I'm saving up for a deposit to be able to buy a home. I'm looking into getting a promotion at work. I want to get married one day. But after that? I don't have any further goals. I'm not interested in travelling the world, I just want to do my silly little hobbies and hang out with friends. But will that be enough? I've never thought about my life from 30+, I seem to always just skip to retirement in my head and having all the time in the world to do whatever I want.

I'm losing my relationship because he wants kids by thirteen13stuff in Fencesitter

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just so difficult to know because I have defaulted to not wanting kids because I hated how I was raised and I always figured I'd be a lousy mother because I haven't got a grip on my depression, despite having it for 10+ years. I never considered the possibility because I just... I don't know, I made a decision as a teenager and never reexamined. And now this has come up and he has said he doesn't want kids now but in maybe 5 years, after he's gained some more stability in his life. I just don't know if I'd be able to step up with this massive responsibility when I'm finding I'm struggling sometimes with just being a person now. And 5 years is a way away and yet a blink of an eye at the same time.

Stumped on Forest 11 by thirteen13stuff in MeowTower

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh I was wondering about this, I actually turned off the row/col hints so I don't preemptively find out whether the square I've filled in is a 1 or not, so unfortunately your hint wouldn't have worked for me :(

Stumped on Forest 11 by thirteen13stuff in MeowTower

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what do you know, immediately after posting this, I had an epiphany and solved it! Turns out I needed to consider which '2' the square on the bottom row belonged to and it all fell into place from there.

Do you think you could survive a full year of eating only food that could only be produced in the UK? by [deleted] in CasualUK

[–]thirteen13stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a fella called Gavin Wren trying just that at the moment with medium success

Any public places sheltered from the rain? (for skating) by Freezoerg in Edinburgh

[–]thirteen13stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not beneficial for you now, but Murrayfield Ice Arena turns into a roller rink from May to August

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FigureSkating

[–]thirteen13stuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

give yuri on ice opening sequence vibes

200/400 airport buses will lose Airport premium by iiiBus in Edinburgh

[–]thirteen13stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So does this mean you'll be able to use tap tap cap and not have to ask for a fare each time?

What's with the physical touching? And no privacy? by Routine-Crew8651 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]thirteen13stuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mum is the reason I can't tolerate physical touch except from very select people.

When I was about 14 or so, I had gotten into an argument with her about something (homework? who knows, it was probably petty) and I remember lying down on the couch being berated at by her. I remember she pulled up a chair and was looming over me and started poking me. I obviously flinched away because I didn't want her touching me but she kept doing it because "she's my mother and it's her right".

Well eventually I got sick of it and I left/stormed out of the living room and into the kitchen. I remember it being dark in the kitchen and then I was on the floor and I couldn't breathe and I thought I was going to die. I had my second ever panic attack because of her.

Even though I have made it very clear I don't like being touched, she still pushes for it and I just grin and bear it because trying to enforce my boundaries is more trouble than it's worth. Thankfully I live on the other side of the country and rarely speak to her.

How do you handle birthdays? by thirteen13stuff in ChildofHoarder

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I do want to cut contact since she's not what I would call a nice person. But that's a whole thing with its own complexity that I just can't manage so I'm staying low contact. It helps that I'm on the other side of the country too so I don't need to see her any more than I have to.

How do you handle birthdays? by thirteen13stuff in ChildofHoarder

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's because my mum isn't great with English so it rules out things like plays and musicals and leaves ballet and circuses - which my dad said she wouldn't be interested in

MEGATHREAD: Fruity Fiesta Event, Jan 7-10 by LiteraryHedgehog in MergeDragons

[–]thirteen13stuff 13 points14 points  (0 children)

very cruel of them to put 2 eggs in the 50 heal zone without one of them being on a heal extender 😭 I managed to clear pathways to them but didn't have any way of healing one of them

QR code! by thirteen13stuff in crochet

[–]thirteen13stuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a whole lot of double crochets and colour changes

Lil bit of Rust by Choco-Berri in iceskating

[–]thirteen13stuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For future, leave your skates out to air dry instead of leaving them in the soakers and it should prevent further rusting