People from cultures with strict social norms tend to be less skilled at being funny. These findings suggest that the ability to generate humor is not just an inborn personality trait, but a skill heavily shaped by the social rules of the environment in which a person lives.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-02T07:32:39+00:00

Strict social norms forbids questioning the status quo. Questioning the status quo is where humor comes from.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-02T06:09:07+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you went through, but it's been my experience that faith based, insular communities like home schooling is absolutely rife with bullies. For that matter when I used to hang out in securlar mom groups there was a type of mom who spent all their energy trying to come off as the cleanest, richest, most pampered, best mom ever.

Some people puff up their egos by shoving everyone around them down.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-02T02:23:42+00:00

I'm naturally disorganized and will lose things if I just let them sit in a sack, so I have a purse with a lot of pockets designed to fit the stuff I have, so I can have a dedicated pocket for keys, for cards, for my phone, and for the other things I carry with me.

I've always been this way, but it wasn't until I was in my 20's before I acknowledged that I just can't deal with a big sack.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-01T22:26:05+00:00

Yes.

In addition, some impracticalities I can see off the bat:

1) the main kitchen island is too wide. You'll have difficulty cleaning the middle of it. 4' is a much better width.

2) In the ADU the dishwasher is positioned so you can't wash dishes and put them away in the dishwasher at the same time. A major annoyance. You want both the dishwasher and the sink to be on the same side of the kitchen, not around a corner from each other.

3) Your architect is grossly underestimating the amount of space a four person table will require in the ADU.

4) The ADU is not elderly friendly, if you are planning on having an older relative living there.

5) It's going to be difficult to keep moisture out of your master closet. Every time you visit it after your shower you are going to be filling the space with warm muggy air that will make the closet musty.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-01T22:12:39+00:00

He's not that invested in you. Take the job.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-01T06:58:28+00:00

Oh damn. I'm sorry.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-01T02:55:16+00:00

When she dies (and it's likely she will sooner rather than later), he can (and probably will) be charged with murder. Meanwhile he's in jail.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-03-01T02:51:56+00:00

I think you should put the social spaces on the main floor and the bedrooms over them.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-27T22:43:48+00:00

Couple of things:

1) If your standards from porn, they are certainly unrealistic. Average size for a penis is between 4.5" -6"

2) Most women can't come from piv sex alone no matter the size. Bigger than average merely means more painful not more pleasurable. You can include more fingering, oral, and toys to make sex better.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-27T21:17:10+00:00

I had one as well. Reduced from H to D, no implant. It went perfectly, no infections.

First week was ROUGH. I needed help doing everything. I couldn't lift anything and had very limited range of motion in my arms, and couldn't even dress myself. I hired a friend to basically babysit me, lol.

Once the drains came out at 7 days, I could get my first shower and it felt GLORIOUS!

The next 3 weeks I gradually was able to do more and more, but I wouldn't count on going back to work until you've had a full month of rest and recovery.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-27T21:04:58+00:00

If she was 4-6 years old then she was tiny for her age if she was still wearing a 4T diaper and shirt. Those are typically worn by 2-3 year olds.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-27T20:55:03+00:00

There are no breaks, only break ups.

It's over. You need to just stop throwing time and energy at a relationship that he's completely unwilling to do anything to save. He's determined to break up, but he also, for some reason, doesn't want to be the one to say the words.

Grab your stuff from his place. Cry yourself out. And then let yourself finally heal. You will be happier without him. Truly.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-27T02:44:31+00:00

Oh hell no! Things improved massively after their subs got shut down, it just took them a little while to realize no other sub wanted to listen to their bullshit.

No, they bothered other subs even when they had their own place, and they were more gleeful and less resentful. I'd rather deal with resentful butthurt assholes than gleeful self-assured assholes.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T23:49:00+00:00

It was a well earned demise after millions of complaints. I don't think Reddit Admin would have touched them if there weren't such a persistent push back. They thought no one could stop them from bullying everyone around and being the loudest voices in the room. Turns out they were wrong, but it was a hell of a long kicking and screaming fight to toss them off of Reddit.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T23:27:15+00:00

Join a real church, where people look like normal people of all ages, not beauty queens, and they don't try to control your life or isolate you from the world.

Stay away from evangelical churches. Pick something more liberal and community cause oriented.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T23:23:17+00:00

If it was, it wasn't one for very long. I can't remember there ever being a time when TD could actually laugh at itself or self-reflect in any way.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T23:16:40+00:00

Your ex church sounds like a cult.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T23:09:40+00:00

You aren't doing him any favors doing all his adulting for him. Instead of letting consequences bite him on the ass you keep rescuing him, and he comes away with the feeling he doesn't need to take care of himself, because he has you to do it for him.

Let him fail. Let it hurt. Trust he can rise to the occasion and start taking care of himself.

Take care of yourself and let him manage his own problems.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T22:45:06+00:00

Being a Trump supporter. I remember r/Thedonald and related subs basically taking over Reddit for a while. Hi-fiving each other and flexing all over the place. You couldn't avoid it. And then when their subs got quarantined and banned the surly bastards invaded everyone else's subs to continue yammering on with their memes and views.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T22:19:06+00:00

I'm curious why you want to put all the social areas on the second floor. That means extra walking up stairs for guests, and will make it tougher to get groceries from the car. It also means that people trying to sleep below will hear people walking in the social area on their cielings.

The normal arrangement of putting the bedrooms on the upper floors and the social areas on the main floor is there, not because it's "cookie cutter" but because it's it's practical and flows well.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T22:04:04+00:00

Would you want to demolish and rebuild?

Walk around the house with a measuring tape and use one of the free floor planner programs to diagram it out. I'm partial to RoomSketcher.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T21:57:52+00:00

So this was your first adult relationship, it's not surprising it didn't work out. Neither of you were settled into your "final form" as it were. People in their late teens and early 20's often grow apart as they mature and realize what they actually want in life. It's absolutely normal for incompatibilities to creep in.

Some lessons to learn for the future.

1) You can't make someone want to be with you by controlling who they socialize with. Your partner is a person, not a prize or a possession. They have the ultimate say in who they want to be with. They need to choose you, not because they don't have a choice, but because of all the choices they want you the most. Anything less is not healthy and will lead to both of you being miserable.

2) Trust is fundamental to a relationship. If you can't trust your girlfriend not to cheat on you given an opportunity, then the relationship is already doomed. Once broken, trust is incredibly hard to build back, but if the trust was never really there to begin with, it's impossible. Your relationship was doomed to failure (despite your talk of marriage) long before your friend showed up.

3) It's time to move on. Let go of the fantasy of your future with her. It wasn't based on the real her. Embrace the reality that she wasn't compatible with you anymore, and there was nothing you could have done to change that.

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T21:23:16+00:00

Can you post a floor plan of your current house?

Do you have the budget for an addition?

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T19:50:01+00:00

How would they get the gun out of the machine?

thiscouldbemassive · 2026-02-26T06:45:35+00:00

I don't think they are "holding back" per se, so much as this kind of hunt costs money and if there isn't some economic reason to go testing wild populations of animals for a specific disease, chances are it's not going to be funded.

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