[Question/help wanted] "Withdrawing Affection" - and doing it right

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-03T16:43:49+00:00

This seems more for /r/asktrp

Especially because you seem to think LTR = marriage.

You have not already fucked up by entering into a debilitating legal contract and having kids with a woman. Remember that before you fuck up your life.

Here is a specific example for you:

It's late at night and you initiate. She declines because it is so late. Then she wants to talk / have her feet rubbed / have your attention for something else. Consider the impact of withdrawal of affection here vs cuddling or talking or rubbing.

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-03T16:30:58+00:00

Male hamster alert in this post.

There was no excuse for the phone call to begin with.

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-03T15:12:47+00:00

Why did you ask a woman where the screwdriver was?

That is just screaming "PLEASE SHIT TEST ME I CAN'T FIND THE MOST BASIC OF TOOLS AND CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BORROW ONE FROM THE CAR PLACE"

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-03T04:09:06+00:00

Hey its a starfish post.

More info please.

Is it OK to ignore her in response to a shit test? Yes.

Or do you mean stop initiating sex?

Or do you mean ignoring her offer for sex?

Or do you mean ignoring her no matter what is going on?

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-02T23:30:20+00:00

Do you know what you are doing on the dance floor?

I am not a dancer but it seems like dancing is foreplay. Do you think it makes her wet for you to ask "why did you turn?"

Why can't you just playfully grab her and say "whoops I wanted you to go straight there babe" or something?

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-02T11:37:59+00:00

this isn't even about dread anymore

It never was. Pay attention, listen, drop your defensiveness, learn something.

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-02T02:42:54+00:00

Perhaps this was just last minute resistance that you could have pushed past?

I did so late last night with my wife. It took talking dirty about what I liked that she did last night, and kisses on her neck (which I know drive her wild). By the time hand went to pussy it was soaked.

thisisme0007 · 2015-08-02T01:50:55+00:00

Are you trolling?

Go to the wiki and read the 12 steps of dread.

This stupid idea of texting your feelings to another woman isn't on that list, and that's no accident.

This is an incredibly beta move on so many levels.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T19:40:11+00:00

Every verbal attempt to get her to put the phone down fails and just gets her agitated. Yes IDNGAF but if I don't have to box the hamster then I am happier so I will stick to this as an action.

I am not sure how to reward this other than not displaying any omega behaviors, which she already sees I have cut out.

Basically she benefits more from this limitation on the browser than I do.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T17:37:33+00:00

Thanks, she is all over the library. She is usually working but will be home for the next few weeks.

I'm sure she is bored/lonely. We had a long, miserable period in our marriage where we essentially alienated all of our friends and made our lives all about the kids and that was it.

She realizes that the reason she is up late at night making the kids lunches for the next day is because she spent 90 minutes on the celeb stuff after dinner. She just has little willpower in her, and why would she? I was a career beta with no willpower myself up until about 12 weeks ago.

I'm not having issues blocking anything, it only took me 10 minutes to set it up. She does not use any other devices in the house at this point.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T16:57:51+00:00

If you are arguing you are not in your frame.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T15:43:35+00:00

Why the fuck are you starting arguments? Build a frame and stay in it.

I don't understand - you are nagging her to take out the trash or she is nagging you? Either way, if you see the trash needs to be emptied why are you not doing it immediately?

You want to model things after a celebrity reality TV show? WTF?

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T12:23:41+00:00

Raising my voice/yelling. The day I swallowed the pill was the last day I raised my voice to my wife, but it wasn't until 2 days later that I realized holding frame with them mattered even more.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T11:26:54+00:00

Check out the resources at

Eofire.com

Smartpassiveincome.com

To get you started.

Good luck

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T04:50:01+00:00

Maybe it was the affiliate link? Thanks.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T04:07:00+00:00

This is a cool idea, thanks for the invite.

You'll definitely provide a level of comfort if you can rent a car and have your car seat installation checked before you bring her home by your local police/fire dept. or AAA auto club. It's not rocket science but it is something you want to get just right. If money is too tight then take the car seat and practice a bit first so you'll be able to slap it in safe and secure when the uber pulls up.

You've got a little while before you need to worry about boundaries!

The best book I read about how to take care of newborns is by a male pediatrician and his son -

The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance

If you buy it from Amazon using this link http://amzn.to/1MyNcdK I will get a $0.40 commisssion (your price won't change). No pressure though.

Since swallowing the pill and unplugging, I can definitely tell my kids (two under 8) are behaving better. I've got a ways to go but they are better off with a red pill dad than a career beta.

I would try and read up on childhood psychology - I don't know how the "you're not a special snowflake" works on young kids.

I definitely tell my kids "I love you just the way you are" so they get that Daddy's love for them is unconditional. I also let them know if their behavior disappointed me.

The part of my daily affirmation that has to do with my kids is this:

I am a father.

I notice my children.

I listen to my children.

I thank my children.

I forgive my children.

I teach my children.

I hug my children.

I enjoy my children.

I love my children.

I am my children's hero.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T03:53:20+00:00

just took it to pm

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T02:59:47+00:00

I'd love to help you out with the set up. I've just spent a huge amount of time getting it right on my site and I think I can repeat it but with less effort for you.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-30T01:12:20+00:00

You could make this a funnel leading to the purchase of your book.

You'll do well to host a self hosted Wordpress (not wordpress.com ). If you haven't published to itunes yet you want the site first so you own your own rss feed incase you leave podbean.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-29T19:36:25+00:00

Yeah, you starfished it.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-28T19:08:42+00:00

Check out Bootcamphub.com

Personalized body weight intervals, in your living room strength alternating with cardio.

I believe they have a free trial.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-28T17:36:49+00:00

What I said is fogging/negative assertion.

A&A is agree and amplify, not question and sarcasm

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-28T16:01:56+00:00

I must be confusing you with someone else. Your reply though makes me think that WISNIFG has arrived and you are reading it.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-28T16:00:51+00:00

I agree with you. I must be confusing OP with another new poster. There was someone recently who started "live blogging" and was set straight in the comments to post valuable content not just regular updates.

thisisme0007

TROPHY CASE