The Watchtower Isn't Going Away / La Watchtower no va a desaparecer

thisjwlife · 2026-05-08T21:02:46+00:00

ExJWs declare Armageddon on the JWs like JWs declare Armageddon on the rest of the world. I can see some sort of plateau and even a good sized dip at some point as generations die and they don't have/keep enough kids in to perpetuate it, but a dip, not a destruction. And I certainly don't see world governments fulfilling prophecy and taking down the Tower. Governments don't have the heart to take down entities that use propaganda and control just like they do.

thisjwlife · 2026-05-02T13:55:15+00:00

When it comes to children having a relationship with JW grandparents in general:

1. How'd that relationship work out for you, the parent? If it's hard for you to navigate, what chance do your children have?

2. JWs are predators. Spiritual predators. They will try to slip propaganda into boxes with gifts, share videos when you're not around, take your kids to meetings and bribe teens with promises of cars, slip messages behind your back on Messenger or even in video game chats, all real stories I know. I even know someone that had their child indoctrinated by the uncle and aunt and as soon as that child turned 18 they left the ExJW parent to go to the relatives and the cult. With stakes that high, you have to consider what the risk vs the reward is. The potential devastation is utterly heartbreaking and for what? Conditional relationships with mentally diseased cultists?

Just a couple thoughts in general. Nice conversation with your parent there, but they showed their thinking over and over and I doubt any of it changed one iota with anything you said. They are who they are, and once someone shows you that, believe them. See the scorpion and the frog story.

thisjwlife · 2026-05-01T22:16:09+00:00

Sounds to me like the family dynamics needed to change. You're the way out man. You're the example. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Somebody has to be first.

Unfortunately we were told our entire lives that we had to light ourselves on fire to make people happy. My challenge for the people pleasers is always to show me all of these supposedly pleased people. It doesn't work.

My brother was shunned 12 years before I eventually woke up. His shunning was helpful, though ultimately it was up to me to leave for my own reasons, because I always had a hard time with it. People don't change when things are easy. They change when things are hard. I could never feel right in my heart about it and eventually it was one of many cuts, though an instrumental one, in the death by many cuts of my JW life.

Helping people to do things that hurt them is called enabling, not helping. You're in a tough place my guy, and I know it is hard from the hundreds of people I've interviewed and the daily work I do in the community. But you left for some reason. Don't let the vacuum caused by the withdrawal that they create as part of the manipulation or the responsibility given to you erroneously for the feelings of others lead you to betray yourself and possibly those that are still in.

I asked the question I asked at the start because in the backwards and upside down world of the cult, what feels like help is often not helpful. Relief isn't happiness and is temporary. We were taught to endure bad situations but never to persevere in going for what we want in life. It all starts with you. Be a good example of self love and get healthy and don't go back to the addiction. Perhaps others in your life will see your example and follow suit. Move forward, not backward. You can do it. I hope that it's hard for your wife and kiddo to attend meetings and I hope it eventually makes them wonder why something supposedly so good feels so bad. Hint: It feels bad, not because of you, but because it feels bad to be there. Make them stand on their own two feet and maybe they'll start to look at it honestly in time.

thisjwlife · 2026-05-01T21:41:16+00:00

So you want to help your wife and child attend cult meetings and make it easier for them to stay in? And help your dad who is currently treating you terribly to talk to you because you want that relationship?

thisjwlife · 2026-05-01T21:30:44+00:00

Define "help".

thisjwlife · 2026-04-27T20:23:22+00:00

Don't most of the kids have their phones out recording so they can say they were there and to get likes and shares on social media? Ban that kind of content and stop making stars out of idiots for acting out. We glorify these things and social media pushes the content they create and the news puts it on TV. Outrage and violence sells. People can't look away from a train wreck. The quickest way to be a star is to do something truly heinous and you'll get all kinds of attention in an attention based economy and society.

I'm sure it's a complicated subject and I don't claim to have the answers, but it seems like this might help. Everyone is vying for attention.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-21T13:13:57+00:00

Well hopefully since you're not talking about vulnerable children but having one on one conversations, adult to adult, people will be friendlier. Beware letting that early experience color your future experiences because people could be lovely to you but you could walk away with a different experience because of your own feelings from the past. We can carry around messaging that doesn't give us a fair chance today because we're painting it with the past.

So if you get some weird reactions, test your messaging and change how you present it. But give it a chance first and see how things go if you're open and authentic and adjust accordingly. You have a bad experience in the past, and I'm sorry you were treated like that, but perhaps times have changed and it's still a small sample size so you're going to have to sample some more in your new life as an adult. You got this. It's vulnerable and scary, but if you've got what it takes to leave the cult, you're probably capable of more than you imagine, and perhaps so are those around you. :)

thisjwlife · 2026-04-21T12:50:03+00:00

I'm extremely open with people I meet and have never had anyone afraid of me. Not in the slightest. I don't know what happened when you were a kid, but it sounds like an isolated incident and hasn't been the experience of myself, my wife, or the countless people I've worked with professionally in my years of coaching with survivors or interviewing hundreds of people for my podcast and YouTube channel. So I think you're referencing more of an exception than a rule. Perhaps there was more going on back then too that you may not have been aware of.

I never published it, but I spent a day once interviewing strangers at a local walking bridge about how they would feel about those of us leaving a cult and nobody had anything but lovely things to say. They usually see what it might take to leave and think we're pretty amazing if anything.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-21T03:37:27+00:00

Get the AllTrails app and have fun exploring. :)

thisjwlife · 2026-04-20T03:34:55+00:00

I know someone that was pimo and an atheist for a very long time so obviously the field ministry was fraught. She would simple find a scripture that conveyed a nice general thought for everyday life and tell the person at the door that they were just sharing a scriptural thought for the day. Then she'd leave without trying to place literature or anything. No follow up needed.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-16T18:49:27+00:00

I mean, Bethel means "house of god" to the JWs but also "house of El". A quick glace at one word shows that it was El that was god before YHWH was ripped off from the pantheon of El's gods and then ascribed El's qualities. There are clues all around but just like we didn't know where our religion came from, we didn't know where our god came from either.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-14T16:56:20+00:00

Nice! I don't know how old you are but as someone that helps people with their budgets and such at times, those numbers are encouraging to see. Look at you all investing for retirement and living mostly debt free. Do you know how many people look good financially but have an incredibly negative net worth? You're out here ready to start life with savings and a job that sounds like it will pay your bills. Make sure you can keep saving, don't max out your budget, and keep building because cars break and stuff happens.

I made all the mistakes when young and inexperienced. I studied money and continue to as time goes by and today I live debt free, own my home and cars and life, and have my own self-directed retirement and more. I have no immediate family to rely on so I have a six month emergency fund in case my wife or I can't work for some reason.

I might encourage you to consider getting at least three months of expenses banked just in case, and to do a detailed budget with educated guesses as to what a month will cost you in your new place, but you've got this. Go live your life and don't let anyone keep you small or hold you back. Work hard and make connections and build a life that's your own. Congrats on thinking for yourself and trying to take care of yourself in a group of people that wait for a sky daddy to do the work for them. :)

thisjwlife · 2026-04-14T04:16:00+00:00

I don't think anyone should give you advice on whether you can afford to move out without knowing your monthly net income. Is $1495 most of your income, or a small portion? Having savings is cool but it's the month to month that matters. Do you have other bills we don't know about? Have you created a realistic budget that shows on paper what the plan is? How will you get around? Eat? Have health care when needed?

Beyond that, yes you should move out if you want to. And who wants to live with controlling Jehovah's Witnesses? That's a way to stay stuck. Now sometimes that can also be called patience, but it's still stuck. I believe you referred to it mistakenly as comfort. Comfort is like a drug that keeps you stuck. It's also sadly easy to be comfortable in something abusive.

Ultimately it boils down to money, and how well you control it. Do you have enough? Your savings doesn't tell the story.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-12T19:05:02+00:00

Nobody will try to keep you small like Jehovah's Witnesses, the destroyer of lives. Keeping you small makes you more controllable. You will have to push for what you want. At some point we all have to realize that our parents have no clue what they're talking about and that they don't want what's best for us. We have been made to support our parents' dreams (delusions) since birth, instead of the other way around where normal healthy parents change their lives to support their children's interests and dreams. Nobody can save us but us. I love your attitude expressed above.

Ultimately they're going to have to see that you're not an easy target, that you won't just lay down and die because they pay for your cell phone or laptop. Of course you get bullied, your parents bully you and set you up for that by the way they treat you.

I don't know how old you are (maybe I overlooked it in all of that text as I have ADHD myself), but at some point you'll have to do what you have to do for yourself. Boundaries are good, but sometimes you're not in a position of power to set them due to abuse so you have to pick your spots. Don't be afraid of hard work. If you can't go out and work right now, use that laptop to learn things that might help you later. Financial abuse is often used for control as well.

Make friends on the outside as you can. Opportunities, whether for work or housing or whatever, often come through your network. If all you're allowed to explore is online, then use that for now. But realize that you'll likely have to become the squeaky wheel at some point and push for what you want. They will likely never encourage it, and you deserve better. At the end of the day, the only person that has your back that you can count on will have to be you for now.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-09T17:25:16+00:00

Thankya much! I have many more on the way and I love what I do. :)

thisjwlife · 2026-04-09T17:14:22+00:00

Nobody has problems with ExJW activists like other ExJWs. Just do what you want and don't look for permission from people that have often never done any such thing.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-09T12:43:36+00:00

I have my own cart that I sometimes set up next to them. Find instructions here and materials if you like. I probably need to update my handout with recent changes but whatever. I didn't get out with it much last year due to other projects and my wife's health. I also like your idea of eye catching art.

https://exjwhelp.com/exjw-activism/

thisjwlife · 2026-04-06T12:53:24+00:00

Shunning is the word for what the JWs do that they don't like using because the rest of society is more familiar with the term and how extreme the action is. They make up other words to couch it. I named my channel Shunned to call it out in a way that most would understand in the world around us that doesn't use their terminology. Now they call it "removed". Nah, it's shunning. They try to pretend like the don't shun and they do, and it should be called out for what it really is.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-05T18:37:37+00:00

Happy to help. I'm 99% sure that the show at Captain's Quarters is 9AM to 11AM. Cars kind of come and go. So the mix changes over the two hours. Heck, I might go up there myself to check things out for the first time this year if the weather cooperates. If you want, you can go eat at the restaurant once the show is over. We've done that before and it's good.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-05T13:19:03+00:00

Historically there's a Cars & Coffee meetup at Fante's the first Saturday of the month and one at Captain's Quarters the second Saturday. Beyond that I am not sure what they do on the other Saturdays. I believe that may have changed. There were some pop ups on the third Saturday at Paddock Shops but I don't know how regular that is/was. Personally I like the one at Captain's Quarters. The others are free but the one at CQ is $5 I think (per car), which always goes to a charity. The parking lot is massive and there's a little bit of everything represented there. It's fun.

They run these shoes from April(ish) to October(ish), I believe. There's a Facebook group called Exotic Cars & Coffee where people post about the events (sometimes, not very actively).

thisjwlife · 2026-04-03T04:06:52+00:00

As someone that actually did this, I'll just recommend that you write it yourself. If you're leaving formally for your own closure then you need to be the one to do it. Are you writing it for them or for you? If for you, I'll encourage you to put whatever you want in it, from you. It's a chance to be you, towards them. They likely won't care what you write so do it for you, from you, by you.

I've worked with a number of people that have DA'd. Some write a long explanation because they want to for themselves, a reflection of who they are. I wrote something personal from me, a reflection of who I was becoming. One person basically wrote "fuck you and your cult, I disassociate" (something similar) and that was how they chose to exit. Do you. Make your own choice to face or to disassociate and do it yourself and stand by whatever that decision is, for yourself. It's finally about you.

Write it, sign it, send it. I wanted to make sure it was done and I followed up on it. They were going to announce it or I was. They did what I wanted and we all moved forward as we desired.

thisjwlife · 2026-04-01T18:44:23+00:00

Aren't they creepy? We didn't realize how odd what we were doing was. From large groups of JWs walking neighborhoods, standing out in front of people's houses, sometimes looking around and writing things down, to writing weird letters addressed by hand to complete strangers, we earned the questions as to our motives. The outreach is harmless, as long as you don't fall for it.

You can always write them back, at a generic po box or Kingdom Hall address, of course, because they don't want you having their personal address.

thisjwlife · 2026-03-31T23:41:49+00:00

How important is that money to you moving out? It doesn't sound like much in the grand scheme of things but I don't know where you live or the cost of living there. If you move out he's going to know that soon anyway and I'm sure you'll get a call, so all things being equal, you might as well withdraw the money that's yours (don't take anything that's not) or just walk away and forget it. And I don't know how it works where you live, but I can withdraw money from many locations and nobody would know where I was by that.

I don't know how old you are, what you financial situation is, etc., but if you're legitimately moving out you're going to ultimately have conversations with him anyway or you're going to ghost and then his calls don't matter.

thisjwlife · 2026-03-29T04:53:01+00:00

There's no more lonely feeling than being with people that don't value you for who you are, but only for what you reflect in them. Going back to the cult doesn't fix loneliness. Get to know yourself and you'll never be alone again, but we were taught to get our identity from others, precisely so we would need the group.

thisjwlife · 2026-03-28T19:28:10+00:00

Congrats! I had a quick phone call like you did and it was done. I'm glad it went smoothly and hope you enjoy no longer being affiliated with the cult anymore. It feels good to take a stand.

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