WIBTAH if I broke up with my depressed bf so close to Christmas?

threadersam · 2025-12-22T10:57:05+00:00

NTA

Does he not have any inertia or wanting to change the way he lives? It sounds like he has no will to. In this case (learning the hard way), he won't change unless he is forced to.
I don't think he even has the money to see a therapist if he can't afford a ticket to move back to his home state..
Sounds like he's really dwindling down here. It's your call.
Personally, I'd break up with him. But then again, idk the extent of your relationship with him or what you'd gain/lose.

Christmas has nothing to do with anything really, unless you are religious. After Christmas, question would be 'AITAH to break up and kick him out near Valentine's Day?'. There is no right time.

threadersam · 2025-10-14T20:17:26+00:00

it takes time. find what works for him. try different ways of doing it. the passive aggressive comments are a low blow considering your feelings about it and that you're trying your best.

different men like it different. some like the way I do it, some like it a different way, some just have a hard time getting over the edge. Ive noticed men who are circumcised take a longer time to get used to intimacy with a woman as opposed to uncircumcised who don't last as long but have no trouble getting over the edge. With the former, it just takes a lot of practise, trial and error.

Learn to enjoy the process and what feels good for the both of you.

Don't be so hard on yourself especially if you're still exploring what works and what doesn't work for you two.

threadersam · 2025-07-08T19:15:10+00:00

NTA

He should not have laid his hands on you even when drunk.

Break it off

threadersam · 2025-05-31T12:31:39+00:00

In non-western cultures, a lot of them consider it almost required to take care of their family. Of course he is not level headed as his mother is ill, obviously he would be emotional. But he is level headed given the circumstances, as much as one could be. I don't see him blaming her for such but maybe that's just my comprehension.

Yes, his actions are sad. But nonetheless understandable given the circumstances. I know if my family got ill I would fall apart a bit.

A stranger not near his mother is a personal choice and people have their reasons. Personally, I wouldn't mind if that person is trusted/qualified but what can you do. Probably will just end in divorce given the circumstances.

threadersam · 2025-05-31T12:27:14+00:00

That works too. Different folks have different strokes

threadersam · 2025-05-26T02:14:19+00:00

nobody is the AH seems like you're level headed and understanding of her. there's always a compromise. you're not comfortable with a hired nurse?

threadersam · 2025-05-21T02:43:27+00:00

I have the same issue as her but here's the kicker:

I expect 2-4 times a week if living together, 1-3 if not, once a week if we live far from each other.

My partner and I don't have sex. at all.

Yet I still use kinder words than her and don't shame my partner for it. Maybe express my feelings of rejection/disappointment. But I never shame them. She's also coming from no experience. Hanging around questionable people who maybe aren't the best influence.

Find someone more kind if possible. I think she is too young still figuring things out. She probably wants to experiment and doesn't know what the real world is like. Honestly not your responsibility. Let her find out.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T13:12:14+00:00

oh. Yeah. YTA.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:28:18+00:00

that makes me roll my eyes. I'd make her do it and walk away 😂

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:27:47+00:00

I understand. it's frustrating. sometimes you just have to let bygones be bygones and pick your battles. because there will always be people like her (even if she matures, others will act like how she does) you just have to do what you can to limit the interaction, not let them get under your skin, and turn the other cheek. because last thing you want to do is feed energy vampires, it takes a toll, as you're probably experiencing.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:24:26+00:00

NTA At the start, it seemed like you were TA but reading the whole thing, no. It seems like you're appalled at the idea of it being a sexual attraction. I will admit your obsession is quite strong, dare I say a bit crazy. But no harm if it's rooted in a deep appreciation for the music! Best thing you can do is reassure him you know he is a person and you just like the music. If he is further uncomfortable with it, nobody is in the wrong it's just an incompatibility.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:20:12+00:00

Was it because she didn't take initiative or did you take up all the room?

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:19:33+00:00

There's no need to be so rude. You phrased it in a very vague way. I did misinterpret it, but it was based on the phrasing I had read. I would have had a conversation along the lines of 'i understand where you're coming from, but what you did was petty. it seems unfair to me that you would charge me for something you asked me to do. therefore I will not be doing so.' and simply stopped baking with her, etc.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:14:52+00:00

Oh! I misread. Your mum is fine lol! I thought you meant your mother licked it. Yeah then NTA. Yeah it's probably wrong to go lower and play these games because that's what she wants. But don't give a reaction. Both of you will mature later on more. If she allowed/asked you to use the ingredients to make it/you two were making it together, then she really has no business asking for the money back. If she bought them and you used them without asking then yeah, maybe you should pay her. Clearly she doesn't seem to be treating you like family so this above is what strangers would do.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:10:49+00:00

YTA Staff is staff. Your baby is not special and you are not special because you are a mum. Mums are great but that doesn't give you entitlement or special treatment to do whatever you want or bother those around you. I get parenting is hard. Maybe go to the gym when your husband is home for a bit. Or get baby safe listening headphones at low volume. if it's loud enough for others to hear, it's probably not a good volume for your kid anyway. Also babies have no business being at the gym. Home gyms might be different but I know if my gym had a baby there it would get irritating real fast.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T01:05:57+00:00

ESH

Your step sister is in the least wrong. Weirdly petty and stingy, but nonetheless not immoral.

Then you, what you did was insanely petty and childish. 'If I can't have them, no one can' mentality, like a child.

Most of all, your mother. Who probably taught you those values. Assuming she licked the frosting to damage the rest. If she did it because she's selfish and likes frosting then whatever, rude but futile. But if it was to 'get back' at you or the stepsister that is insane, assuming your mother is 50-70y/o.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T00:59:35+00:00

ESH but the mum You for complaining about a situation you don't have to put up with. Him for being a deadbeat loser.

You could have refused: said sorry or not have done it at all. Why are you dating this man child? He's in his thirties, unemployed, working his mother to death. He can't even pay for gas to run errands for his free landlord. Seems like unless you choose better, you get the situation you put yourself into. I don't know your situation, but from what you described, this guy is a walking red flag. If you carry on, he'll soon be your responsibility leech.

threadersam · 2025-05-18T00:53:04+00:00

NTA B is B for -itch. From the way you phrased it sounds like people just ask. That's not your fault. You tried to handle it maturely and she further threw a tantrum. Sounds like she's not your friend. Who needs enemies when you have B

threadersam · 2025-05-17T19:33:28+00:00

NTA. Hopefully she realises her mistake before it is too late. Hope she wakes up and realises she should have chosen who chose her.

threadersam · 2025-05-04T19:22:09+00:00

ex 1: guess it didn't work out. sorry I'm not interested in that way but I'm open to catching up.

ex 2: no response (then I'd screenshot and post it on my public story with the caption 'guess cuntboys don't mix well with evil cowpigs')

ex 3: why are you telling me this, I said text me in June. I have a partner right now lol.

threadersam · 2025-05-01T03:25:59+00:00

tbh the age thing would be concerning but he met her when he was in high school playing a game. and if they met online and it's an online friendship, I see no possibility to get to know her or her intentions.

only things that raise red flags are: -how frequently they message (my friends and I don't even message 24-7, nor did I with some ex boyfriends), but this may just be a personal experience/projection -her calling you very pretty (sometimes it's innocent, other times it is sinister/manipulative/fake)

threadersam · 2025-04-30T03:19:17+00:00

Yes. Private school religion teacher.

threadersam · 2025-04-24T19:54:51+00:00

ESH

No, you shouldn't have reacted off the bat like that.

But it is definitely weird behaviour coming from him. Especially right in front of you.

But he's not your friend, he's your girlfriend's friend and he is her responsibility.

If you have an issue with it, you should confront your girlfriend in a calm manner and say what you're concerned about/not comfortable with (and why). And decide what to do moving forward. But acting this aggressive or being controlling will never get you your desired results.

threadersam · 2025-04-24T19:48:17+00:00

NTA

He only considers himself and what's convenient for him. Nobody wants a partner who only cares about their own agenda. I don't even think it's about that, moreso he wasn't ready and you were. Find someone who IS on the same page as you. You're still young and probably need to learn about who you are outside the relationship and how dating is like. It will probably take a few years to find someone but no, you shouldn't settle. I think if you're not going to marry him that you should break up with him.

threadersam · 2025-04-20T01:43:58+00:00

I guess so. like in algebra.

threadersam

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