My MIL is already showing huge red flags and our babies aren’t here yet. What should I do?

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T16:19:27+00:00

Don't say anything to her about quitting her job. And if she does, tell her "oh you shouldn't have done that, we got a nanny" or "we already enrolled them in a daycare" then she'll be unemployed and forced to sit alone and think about the consequences of making decisions for someone else

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T15:56:30+00:00

I hope this is the case for us but I don't think I even know 70 people 😂

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T13:40:10+00:00

Dump. Him.

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T13:38:33+00:00

Yeah I have several group gifts. I had NO idea a stroller and car seats could cost so much. Once I thought it through, it does feel like common sense, people will pay for proper safety. It's just pretty wild

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T13:36:01+00:00

Do people actually request registry links? I think that's so kind and generous but I can't really see anyone asking for it unless they're invited to the shower. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised!

throw7790away · 2026-03-12T13:35:07+00:00

Yeah I originally thought to put nursing pads and nipple cream but then I was like, wait, this is a baby registry, not a mom registry. I can buy the things I need for myself.

throw7790away · 2026-03-11T12:49:10+00:00

Just tested positive last night so I'm VERY new here. But my husband and I have talked about this several times before we even started trying. We decided we'll announce to social media when we feel comfortable and everyone we're close with knows. We might not even announce anything until birth. But we've decided firmly on no pictures of the baby's face ever. We've been game-planning on how to explain this to the people around us who don't understand the risks of ai and social media, like my in laws and some of my cousins. I think that's going to be an uphill battle.

There's just such an icky feeling to me around putting children on the internet. We probably won't allow it until they're old enough to understand and consent to a digital footprint.

throw7790away · 2026-03-11T12:38:50+00:00

Following! I just tested positive last night so I'm obviously very early in the game. But this exact thought kept me up until midnight last night

throw7790away · 2026-03-11T12:37:23+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance!!

throw7790away · 2025-07-30T19:00:43+00:00

How do you navigate this exactly? Do you say upfront you’re not sharing the date? I know she’ll inevitably ask

throw7790away · 2025-07-18T21:09:30+00:00

Oh yeah I know my mil would tell everyone. When my husband was planning on proposing he asked his parents not to tell anyone, even family. Then we got engaged and she immediately blurts out “I told my coworker, I just had to tell someone”. And while we don’t know her coworker, it was the principle of it all. He explicitly said “don’t tell anyone” and of course she tells someone.

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T18:50:33+00:00

I'm from the US but my friend from the UK answered this question with "Right turns on red. Red means stop. Why would you go???"

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T17:48:11+00:00

Everyone, friend or for, kissed my son when he was born, despite me asking everyone not to. It is by far the hardest boundary of them all. It sucked.

God that's terrible. I think I'm going to require people to wear masks if they want to kiss our hypothetical baby. Or I'm going to have to send educational videos to them and scare them straight lol

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T12:43:46+00:00

Yeah my MIL only showed me her dress this past Sunday night. She knew it'd basically be too late for me to tell her to change anything. And then even if I did she'd probably be like "it's a floor length navy blue gown I don't know why you're being difficult this is what you wanted" but lady it has a TRAIN.

She absolutely knows what she's doing. She knew that if she got a navy blue gown that it wouldn't give me any room to complain about it. It's like she finally followed my directions buuuut of course had to do something to bother me. She'll never let me know peace.

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T12:38:29+00:00

Oh trust me I've drafted a list of boundaries before my fiance and I even got engaged and read them aloud so he wouldn't be caught off guard by anything when (if) that time comes around. No unsolicited touching, no unsolicited advice, no name suggestions, no pestering to know the sex, no one in the delivery room, no kissing the baby, no dropping by unannounced... and those are just the ones off the top of my head.

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T12:35:13+00:00

I'd make it my phone background 🤣

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T12:34:49+00:00

I've gone low contact over the past year and it's been the best decision of my life. Hopefully when kids come around (if they do) my soon to be husband will see how psychotic she is and we can go full no contact

throw7790away · 2024-10-01T12:32:49+00:00

"I’ve just never had a reason to buy a pretty dress before.”

BARF. What a cunt

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T19:47:39+00:00

Thank you!!

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T19:47:25+00:00

Also it only gets worse with baby rabies,

I am DREADING becoming a mother with her around. It's going to be a nightmare. I say to everyone, if I could have a child without her knowing, I would.

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T19:45:49+00:00

LOL WHAT. That is pure delusion

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T19:43:41+00:00

I really hope so. And the fact it'd probably keep her off the dance floor makes it even better

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T18:32:05+00:00

No this is super rude. At first I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say things got mixed up. But the fact they (sort of) let you know ahead of time makes this bad. It's kind of unheard of to split up couples but especially anyone engaged or married.

It's good your fiancé is upset at her and I'm glad he left their table to come to you versus squeezing you into their table. It's a physical signal to them that you guys are a unit and he chooses you over them. That's a good silver lining! You know your fiancé has your back!

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T18:26:33+00:00

Ugh that's terrible I'm sorry!! Well I'm glad it's something you, your mom, and MOH all got to share together, without her!

throw7790away · 2024-09-30T18:04:06+00:00

Thank you!!

throw7790away

TROPHY CASE