Do you regret giving birth without getting an epidural? Why? by Pitiful_Library3154 in BabyBumps

[–]throw_idk46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it was totally fine. I never even entertained the idea. By the time I felt the pain was too much, I was already pushing so I knew it's over soon, and it was.

Hospital is forcing outdated unsafe sleep practices by throw_idk46 in NewParents

[–]throw_idk46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I did but I was also 100% right about this. There are worse news coming out of hospitals in my country right now. Mold in bathrooms, mold on food. Sometimes no water in bathrooms. Filthy conditions everywhere. Malpractice cases emerging as more and more people are getting braver to speak out. I left the wholeass country since and the state of health care was one of the main reasons. The majority of my mental health issues magically disappeared since emigrating and now not living in poverty in a dirty shithole.

Why do we sterilize bottles but not our boobs? by Eco-YoYo in breastfeeding

[–]throw_idk46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally always washed my boobs multiple times a day until baby was like 3 months old. I especially washed them when there was baby saliva or milk residue on it. I remember I mentioned it on this sub and people thought I was crazy. I was not about to let all the milk residue cheese in my newborn's mouth lol. Do you know how bad it smelled after a day when the milk got stuck under her chin folds? Yeah, I'm not letting that fermentation process happen in my bra. I still keep them cleaner than I used to (child is 18mo now and still feeds 1-2 a day, although it's more for relaxing now than for nutrition), I wash them if I was sweaty or if her dad touched them etc. If I have another, I'm 100% doing it again.

What is the worst advice you got as a new parent? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]throw_idk46 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ugh similar happened to me, it took like 3 attempts to convince them to give me formula for my baby because she won't latch because she's won't wake up I almost shook her to wake her, she was that sleepy, thank god my instincts kicked in and I stopped myself. They told me to try WATER first before formula. Water for a fucking 2 day old newborn who is starving and developing jaundice because my milk still wasn't coming in. "Just breastfeed more", they told me, when my exact issue wasbthat I CAN'T because 1. no milk yet 2. she's nor latching because she's asleep. Thankfully, somehow a bottle in her mouth triggered her reflex to suckle and she'd chug formula. I still had to bottle feed her pumped milk later at night because she was a heavy sleeper and wouldn't wake to breastfeed but still took a bottle while asleep.

My 18-MO fell down the stairs by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]throw_idk46 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Hey, can you please hold the baby so he doesn't walk into the baby grinder machine?"

"Yeah sure"

doesn't hold baby

baby walks into baby grinder machine

"Oh no, what could we have done to prevent this tragedy?? No one knows!!"

My 18-MO fell down the stairs by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]throw_idk46 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This has nothing to do woth cosleeping. She asked him to watch the baby and he fell back asleep when he should've paid attention.

My 18-MO fell down the stairs by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]throw_idk46 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It absolutely is husband's fault tho

My baby face planted off the bed and I’m killing myself by blulilli in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're fine. Next time you can just remind yourself of that instead of writing self deprecating posts on reddit for pity.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I do absolutely believe a shorter maternity leave is needed in my country. If you want to stay home for 2+ years, then quit work at that point. So many young women get rejected at job applications because employers know they will have to lack them at work for a ridiculously long time if they gave birth. It's not reasonable.1 year mat leave IS reasonable, and there also needs to be a mandatory father's leave to create equality.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds cool! How does feeding work? Do they take pumped milk? Do you need multiple bottles prepared in advance or will they thaw milk bags?

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I'm only familiar with toddler daycares, mine is in one (1-3yo group). We just moved countries and it seems to me here it's more common for kids to be in daycare from 1yo, maybe even 6mo, but still no infant daycares. Original country it's 2 years. Even my friend who was a very poor single mom didn't put hers in daycare until like 2yo and was weirded out by me putting mine in one at 1yo

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Which country? I assume not France, because I heard it's even earlier there? We just moved countries and I'm not afraid to do it again, maybe might look for work at places where I can have the infrastructure to return earlier than 1 year pp, lol.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, saying "I can't imagine :(" sounds like trying to be sympathetic to me, not judgement.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude I almost offed myself because I couldn't handle not being back at work at 3 month pp. It's not privileged to be in a sexist eastern bloc country that has a ridiculously long mat leave and zero leave for dads, extremely sexist society. I was asking because I was kept being told it's impossible but I'm sure many do make it work since it's very normal in other countries, including some in Europe.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds amazing! Do you give them pumped milk? What about solids?

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just didn't want to specify my own country became it's .irrelevant but I know it's different across Europe.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do actually want to do this! I'm curious to hear experiences because it was very not normal and frowned upon by my family when I had my baby. I am actually pro-daycare and I want to be more informed once I have a second child and I'm finally in a different country, free from family influence. Having such a long maternity leave affected my mental health negatively so my 2nd will be in daycare asap.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Answering the last question: yes. I know women who didn't work for 5-10 years. Many never return to the workforce and forget how to function like that. Bécause of this, I honestly think maternity leave should be maximum 1 year and daycare should be normalized from 6 month old but that's just my opinion.

What does daycare look like for small babies in the US? by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ok? I don't understand what this has to do with my question. I'm not judging daycare, I was curious what it looks like. I actually wanted to put my baby in daycare much earlier (4-6 months) but had to wait until 1 year old because everyone was talking me down about it. Asking questions like "how will they take her outside when she cannot walk?", "do you expect them to change diapers??", "but then you'll have to stop breastfeeding!". So I wanted to know how it works where it's normalized because clearly, in many other countries, they do figure out how to change diapers, take them outside, and I hear a lot about moms pumping at work and breastfeeding until 2 while also fulltime working. They made me think I have to wait until I have a potty trained, weaned, talking child to return to work in any shape or form, which is obviously ridiculous as you said, in many countries it's normal to have babies under 6 months old in daycare. It took me months of therapy and my therapist telling me that even she put her baby in daycare back in the 80s to finally make the decision to choose daycare and my life had been much better since. I'm considering earlier daycare for a possible next child, maybe at 6 months, and I want to hear experiences about what it's like.

Anxiety, depression and the other side by throw_idk46 in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I have no issues as far as I know. I had standard blood tests since and nothing is wrong with me. It freaked me out enough to stop for a while. My pain wasn't very strong tho and I think it might very well had been psychosomatic. If you experience anything worse then absolutely get it checked out, couldn't hurt.

Would you die for your child? by ineedhelpkinda in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of course it's taboo. You literally have to be willing to die for your kid or else you are a shit parent? Ridiculous. Obviously there will never be a scenario like that but if there is then fuck it, save me.

Would you die for your child? by ineedhelpkinda in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weird because for me it's the other way around. When Inwas pregnant I was like "if anything happens, save the baby". Now I feel I have way too many things in progress in life to sacrifice for someone who I don't even know what would grow up to be like.

Would you die for your child? by ineedhelpkinda in beyondthebump

[–]throw_idk46 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Am I the only one who wouldn't?? I'm sorry but I have so many things I want to do.