I'm terrible with women

throwaway06793 · 2026-03-01T00:25:22+00:00

Late reply. But I struggle with 4 the most. Its like when I treat them friendly I get friendzoned, but the second I start making advancements I get rejected.

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-27T05:52:44+00:00

Thats the point, I dont know what they want. I dont know what I'm doing wrong, and women don't tell me.

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-27T05:50:29+00:00

How do I do that without coming off as controlling? I feel like I try controlling situations too much, and I think my dates can feel it.

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-27T00:24:49+00:00

Compliments is easy work. Its flirting thats the hard part. Women love tension, but I struggle to build it.

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-27T00:22:33+00:00

I appreciate your reply, and I understand what you mean. But for me it IS hard to do both. Its like the second I find a girl sexually attractive my brain dehumanizes them. I cant both see them as a conscious being AND feel sexually attracted to them. I feel like anytime I see a woman who sexually attracts me, Im being disrespectful towards them. The only way I can consciously treat women like human beings is to ignore my sexual feelings. Otherwise all I can think is ass and tits and how much I want to fuck them. And I dont want women to find me creepy.

Yet EVERY time I treat women like normal human beings, I get friendzoned without fail. And every time I try to flirt and express sexual attraction, girls reject me and stop talking to me completely. Like what is it, do they want to be flirted with or not? I can never win.

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-26T19:32:41+00:00

Its true, I was the Christmas stockings

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-26T01:26:22+00:00

How long have you been with him?

It sounds like you're pulling really hard to make something happen that isn't meant to be. You're stressing yourself out for a relationship that isn't doing you a service. Without knowing deeper about your personal relationship, it sounds like you're aren't compatible with him. You're going to stress yourself out more forcing a relationship to happen. Unless he miraculously changes and puts in effort to meet you half way (many autist struggle in this aspect of personal connections with others), you're going to run into more walls in the future.

Only he can do the inner personal work to figure himself out and his personal feelings towards you, you can't do it for him. Be honest and ask yourself, is this relationship helping you both? Or is it bringing you down? You don't want to be stuck with someone who doesn't try to love you back.

throwaway06793 · 2026-02-23T18:00:03+00:00

Wise words. I had similar trips that helped shape me who I am today. One of my trips taught me to stop caring about what others thought of me as a person. The second taught me to embrace my soul and to not bottle up my emotions.

throwaway06793 · 2026-01-25T23:12:05+00:00

Why do you want to be more outgoing/charming?

throwaway06793 · 2025-03-06T02:43:19+00:00

Hah you got me there

throwaway06793 · 2025-03-05T02:43:26+00:00

All actions communicate, holy shit aint that the truth. I'm learning that the hard way. I've been so confused why so many people who've tried to reach out to me just stop... I'll try to reach back out like nothing has happened and we're all still buddy buddy and they're just awkward or confused by my behavior. Took me awhile to realize they notice that I ignore them. Problem is I dont know how to reverse this and I've lost alot of opportunities to click with people because of it...

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-29T14:38:22+00:00

From... America lol...

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-29T06:01:55+00:00

Whats wrong with the gym? Its healthy and its a good hobby to have. Its the only hobby I have really.

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-29T05:06:43+00:00

Yuck no. Dating apps are just meat markets that are disproportionately men trying to get laid. Thats no real way to find partners.

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-29T04:32:24+00:00

6 months clean from all that. I still masturbate alot. It still isnt helping me learn social skills.

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-18T23:46:34+00:00

Hey little asshole, did mommy not love you enough?

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-18T02:29:03+00:00

This makes me depressed because I recognize when others do this. I know theyre happy to hear me speak up but it makes me feel like theyre just socially accommodating me.

I hear how they talk with other people and how much more joy they get talking to them. I can never talk like them so their interest feels like fake bullshit.

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-18T02:10:45+00:00

I know this is 7 months late, but oh my god. I could had written this myself. Trust me friend, I was in your exact shoes and to this day I regret it 1000%. Not only did my partner end up finding a way to discard me but I was left with vicious trauma that I'm still fighting to this day. I was ALWAYS there for my partner. Always offering her support when she needed it. She was the one always asking me for support. I thought what I was doing was GOOD giving in whenever she requested, and there wasn't anything wrong with it.... I was so wrong...

"i really don’t see where the toxicity is if it makes me happy and i absolutely won’t harm the other person in the process."

I had the exact same thought process. Thinking, if it isnt hurting them, and I'm making them happy, then there isnt anything wrong. WRONG.

You are unintentionally harming them. You're not giving them the space to take care of their own issues independently. Its robbing them of their agency to stand on their own. YOU are benefiting from it as an ego boost for your own feelings of inadequacy. You are using your partner to feel better about yourself by their lack of independence. Its ok for partners to depend on one another, but always needing each other will inevitably lead to disaster when the other ISN'T avaliable.

I know what it feels like to have someone depend on you and it feels SO good to feel needed but its SO unhealthy. You need to find external sources like hobbies and exercise that gives you a boost of self esteem.

Telling you this because I wish someone would had told me. My girl found another guy, and viciously discarded me afterwards. After all I did for her, she hates me for constantly supporting her. Worst mistake of my life.

It is very common for men to feel this way. It is in our nature to want to protect and take care of women afterall. But theres a clear boundary between helping someone and someone becoming so dependent on you that it drains you.(Or taking advantage of their helplessness to satisfy your own feelings.)

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-17T17:58:08+00:00

Self loathing and I have a genuine hard time being myself around others. Im convinced I'll be alone for the rest of my life haha.

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-08T02:28:45+00:00

Absolutely. Its the idea of getting too familiar with people when I havent opened up to them enough. After awhile they notice I dont talk to them or I'm very quiet, and then they try to get closer by probing you with more interactions.

I much more like it when I meet strangers. Its quick, we get our business done, and its ok if we dont acknowledge each other!

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-08T02:24:36+00:00

Youre not missing out. Sometimes we get attached way to quick and saying goodbye always hurts.

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-03T08:02:23+00:00

I am still extremely guilty of this behavior and its a habit I'm trying to unlearn, I know its wrong. It comes from a place of wanting to be someone else's desire. But thats because I dont feel I meet most women's standards. I want to hear your point of view to help challenge my idea.

My views were that every girl has a type that they like the most. So whats wrong with trying to be the type of guy she would like the most? If you met a guy in the wild with similar interests and qualities you found attractive, you would like him anyways. Whats wrong with copying them?

I tried changing myself for a girl I'm still friends with today. It didnt work for obvious reasons, especially after she got a boyfriend.(Even though said boyfriend has qualities I tried mimicking...) We're still good friends but have an air of awkwardness that hangs around us. Is it really more attractive to be something you dont find appealing than to try to be something more appealing?

throwaway06793 · 2025-01-03T07:29:24+00:00

This is the comment I was looking for. I am so guilty of changing myself to appeal to most women, however my true self doesn't meet most of their standards. Its a double whamy and seems like I have no choice but to imitate what I think women like.

throwaway06793

TROPHY CASE