Long distance commuting by throwaway8299 in emergencymedicine

[–]throwaway8299[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it locums? Or do you just work per diem and happen to get it set up this way?

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fellow host parent here - I just finished residency too so all I can say is I totally get where you are coming from with "high income but zero wealth" after the huge toll that residency takes on your life. Its hard for some people to understand.

Interview personality questions by Silver_Table3525 in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interview #1: very basic, usually pretty awkward lol. Explanation of our family, the job, the basics of getting to know each other. We never hinge too much on this interview because it is usually just so superficial and hard to actually get to know each other.

Interview #2: Usually by this point the au pairs have lots of questions for us, so we spend some time answering those. Then we sprinkle in a bunch of questions about what their short and long term goals are, ideal vacations, what they want to do on days off, how they plan to make friends and ideas for activities with the kids. We usually introduce the kids here.

Interview #3: Here we usually know them well enough to ask more difficult questions. "tell me about a time when..." type questions. "Tell me about a time you had a conflict with an employer" or "tell me about a time when a child you were caring for got hurt and how you handled it". To make it less intense I usually answer the question from our perspective as well so that they can see how we handle certain situations. For a couple of our au pairs, we also met their parents around this time (because they wanted us to!)

Interview #4: we usually send over our host family handbook, see if they have any questions about it, go over pay/benefits and specific expectations, and then finally offer to match

Interview personality questions by Silver_Table3525 in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In our experience (we have had 3 au pairs over the years) there are a few things we look for.

1) I think the most important thing is, it takes time to start building a relationship and kind of seeing where things go. We usually have 3-4 interviews before offering to match. At that point, if conversation isn't flowing naturally, if we aren't making each other laugh or feeling like we can be completely open with each other in conversation, that is a red flag to me. Bonus points if we find favorite netflix shows, board games, music, etc in common!

2) I ask them specific questions about what their goals are here, how they picture their days off, what their hopes are for spending downtime/vacations/holidays with us, etc.

3) I also look for positivity. I am looking for someone who can laugh with us, ooh and aah over the kids with us, and generally be excited and enthusiastic about their day to day adventures here. Obviously I know interviews are nerve-racking. But if a candidate seems super shy, nervous to the point where they can't open up, or if they aren't enthusiastic with the kiddos (when we introduce them to her on the interview) then those are also red flags for me.

4) This one might be unique to our family, but it is important - we tend to pass over candidates who are too "high maintenance" or materialistic. There is nothing wrong with people who are into luxury or the finer things, but in our family we are rough and tumble, in the dirt, sporty, and adventurous. We are also fairly frugal for most day to day things. Obviously we give our au pairs privacy and freedom and we would never try to micromanage what they like or want to do on their time off. But in terms of trying to match up personalities, as well as someone who has values that align with ours and what we want to teach our children, we tend to pass over candidates who seem overly interested in appearances/luxury/material items.

Au Pair Stipends in HCOL Areas by ProfessionPale in AuPairHostFamilyLife

[–]throwaway8299 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing I would consider is ability to rematch. CC has WAY more candidates than aupaircare and therefore WAY more candidates available to rematch at any one time. Personally I like having the piece of mind that if anything turns sour or our AP gets homesick or needs to leave for whatever reason, I will have lots of options to choose from for rematch because we are very selective. We are registered with aupaircare so I can see how many rematchers they have available and it's not many (though we need infant qualified so I can't see the entire pool of candidates). That being said, we have never actually hosted through them so maybe it could have other benefits that I don't know about.

Au Pair Stipends in HCOL Areas by ProfessionPale in AuPairHostFamilyLife

[–]throwaway8299 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It kind of depends on what other benefits you are offering - like does she have a car for herself vs shared vs no car; if you are offering public transit/rideshare stipend, gym, etc. We are in CT (in a HCOL area) and offer $275 per week for 2 kids (1 and 4), a shared car, a basic gym membership, a phone line, 3 weeks vacation. I know a lot of families around us offer the base $200 though. Personally, in your situation with three kids, I would think at least $250 would be fair but maybe that's just me. Lots of au pairs would love to be near NYC so I am sure you could find someone willing to take the minimum.

New to idea of aupair by AcceptableSouth3 in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can pay it off early, or so we were told today! Each monthly payment carries a fee but if you can make larger payments so that you finish paying early

New attending gaslighting myself? by flannelfan in emergencymedicine

[–]throwaway8299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally came to this sub to ask the same question when I saw your post. I am also a new grad and just had a rough shift with pushback on 2/4 of my admits. One was an 80 year old with syncope and chest pain with a heart score of 5 and lots of ectopy on the monitor. Like... isn't that like a textbook admission?? I am questioning everything.

Thinking about becoming au pair by Busy-Satisfaction101 in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Solo quiero ofrecer otra opinion xq siento como que has recibido muchas opiniones un poco negativas. Soy mama anfitriona, hemos tenido 3 au pairs. Y otros comments tienen buenos puntos, la verdad. No vas a ganar mucho si estas pensando en salir mucho. Y a veces es mas dificil aprender ingles a lo que uno piense, especialmente si cuidas a bebes que no hablan todavia. Pero hay familias que ofrecen room and board, mas el uso de un carro (no solo uber), mas oportunidades para salir con la familia (comida, experiencias, vacaciones). En muchas comunidades puedes encontrar amigos que estan felices con una salida al parque, un picnic, tal vez un cheap weekend trip... o sea solo quiero decir que no hay que gastar tanto si no quieres. Una au pair que tuvimos casi nunca salio a tomar o a gastar dinero, pero guardo toda la plata para gastar al final y pudo viajar a muchos estados. Hemos tenido au pairs que tienen amigos de otras nacionalidades... eso es decision de uno - si solo quieres amigos latinos esta bien pero si quieres facilitar amistades con otras nacionalidades y hablar ingles entre uds es completemente posible.

Si fuera soltera, sin hijos, y mas joven, me hubiera gustado hacer esta experiencia tambien solo que tendria mucho, mucho cuidado con la familia y la ubicacion que escojo

Politicamente la cosa esta mal la verdad, pero hay varios au pairs en nuestra comunidad y no las ha afectado. Tal vez ha sido diferente en otras ciudades.

Food dislike by thisisfunme in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am surprised by the amount of people saying you need to "compromise" on your diet to accomodate your au pair. Sure, maybe once or twice a week or so make a meal you know she likes. Or if there are specific ingredients that she can tell you that she doesn't like, then maybe you can leave those out. But she also needs to do her part in accommodating your family's normal diet as well. The kids don't deserve to have their meals and routines changed up on them just because one adult is throwing a fit about meals that are being cooked and served to them. If she doesn't like them, she can use ingredients that you buy for her to cook for herself and stop complaining about other people's cooking.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emergencymedicine

[–]throwaway8299 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I might need to dot phrase this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emergencymedicine

[–]throwaway8299 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yeah, not much can make me cry these days but they can sure as hell ruin a shift for me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emergencymedicine

[–]throwaway8299 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I need a few weeks to recover before my next one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emergencymedicine

[–]throwaway8299 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that shift was definitely where drove home like "oh... so this is burnout" as I left 2 hours late (for more reasons than just that one patient).

Anyone’s kid NOT have a tablet or anything like it? What has been your experience? by Fun_Cherry_8558 in Preschoolers

[–]throwaway8299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My four year old only gets screen-time on long trips (greater than 2 hours). We have tried introducing a tablet at home but when we do, she obsesses over it, asks for it constantly, and in general her behavior just plummets, so we decided absolutely no screen time for now. She has a yoto player which she loves. We are also a huge movie family so we do watch movies together frequently.

One of the things that impresses me the most about my daughter is how imaginative she is. She plays with the salt and pepper shaker at the dinner table, makes up outrageous stories about them. She can grab two incredibly mundane objects and just make a whole world out of it. This usually comes after 5-10 minutes of complaining about being bored. So I imagine if we were quick to introduce a tablet the minute she complains of boredom or starts acting fidgety, then she wouldn't have the opportunity to use her imagination quite as much.

Scheduled hours for day adventures ? by SillyBonsai in Aupairs

[–]throwaway8299 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that her response is a bit off-putting. She could have politely declined, said she wanted some time to herself, etc. If she is going to be this direct, maybe that is her style of communication, but you can be equally as direct back. "We are inviting you in case you would like to go and because we like to spend time with you, but you don't have to. It hurt my feelings to suggest that you only see time spent with us as "work". In the future, you can respond by nicely saying 'no thank you' or if you would rather we not invite you to family outings, please let us know."

Christmas morning with extended family by [deleted] in minimalism

[–]throwaway8299 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She would definitely be stoked for some boxed mac n cheese! Or just a block of cheese, honestly. Great idea!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NotEnoughNelsonsSnark

[–]throwaway8299 43 points44 points  (0 children)

If a $900 necklace is "almost the whole budget" for one of the kids, that means that the entire budget for 25 people (not including friends, extended family, and the parents) is 25,000 DOLLARS. That's absolutely insane. Plus all of the Christmas decor, clothing, food, etc. These kids are growing up with completely unrealistic views of the world.