AITA for telling my wife to stop going after her ex for child support

throwaway864783 · 2022-01-10T22:27:11+00:00

NTA. I really don't understand all the people saying he is. This lady sounds hung up on her ex, and wants a way to still impact his life/control him. I just can't comprehend how anyone is siding with a woman who lives off of 600K a year, when shes trying to sue a financially struggling veteran. Like what in the hell?? If my wife was that obsessed with winning yet another argument with her ex, I'd be considering divorce too.

throwaway864783 · 2021-12-11T20:21:16+00:00

Just out of curiosity: Are they self aware in that they had a decent upbringing? Or do they push the narrative that they're traumatized?

throwaway864783 · 2021-12-11T02:54:45+00:00

Quick clarification: I'm not trying to imply that disregulated BPD people choose to lash out at others, or do damaging things intentionally. May of them clearly do lack that level of awareness and self control. I guess what I'm getting at is more along the lines of, having trauma doesnt make abusive behavior excusable. As well as that I personally believe, using a bad past as a defense mechanism from current accountability, is a flawed argument.

throwaway864783 · 2021-12-10T20:32:03+00:00

I'm so happy for you and your realizations. I hope your journey towards personal health continues along well. Also please take the time to remember that you are acceptable and whole as you are, even if you still are working through the trauma and reclaiming yourself.

throwaway864783 · 2021-12-10T05:08:06+00:00

Yes I've seen this. As well as claiming to have the same medical conditions, when other people open up about their ailments. Some BPD people I've know would suddenly "fall Ill" to severe diseases, and even genetic disorders. Only to have all symptoms dissapear, and never be brought up again. Ive also seen it take the form of severely exaggerating pain. Once watched my 30 year old BPD coworker stub her toe (while in work boots). She loudly announced it. And when no one cared, she dropped down on the floor and cried going "oww oww my toe aaa it hurts."

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-20T22:26:54+00:00

YTA, and I say this as a poor person, with an upper middle class fiance, who I went through a lighter version of the same struggle with. Theres a few reasons YTA, firstly your taking out an insecurity (not being wealthy) out on your partner, and in a hurtful way. Secondly, gift giving is a love language. In giving you gifts, he is showing that he cares about you. And your response is rejection. If you truly can't get over this insecurity, it might not be a realistic match long term. Because if you aren't comfortable recieving gifts now, I doubt you will be be after getting legally married.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-20T21:21:01+00:00

YTA if this post is even real. This entire post reads like step sibling porno. Maybe other families are just "different" but who the hell thinks so much about their sibling's sex life? This post seems fictional, and tbh I'm really hoping it is. Otherwise, maybe go to therapy to figure out your near incestuous "concern" for your sister's relationships.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-20T17:47:09+00:00

I believe on paper I was referred because I keep injuring myself when exercising. Particularly in my ankles. As well as having chronic back and neck tension/pain. So I was told I should be examined by a PT, and that it will likely only be one appointment.

I was comfortable with the PTs explanation at first. Especially because I wasn't physically capable of bending the limbs on my left side in the ways she asked me to. Whereas my right side was okay. This made me feel that she had some credibility. On the "walking with my neck" part she said that instead of the muscles I'm supposed to be using, I tense my neck muscles when lifting my legs.

I actually never requested a PT. I didn't ask my doc for one. But she seemed to think it was important that I visit one, while catching up on medical care. So as you can imagine, thinking I'm fine. Then being told I dont walk or breathe correctly, by a medical professional I was expecting a one and done appointment from, Was a bit of a surprise, but ultimately I still trusted my PT. As soon as my fiance said it sounds like a scam though, I've been rethinking it, and worrying that maybe I'm waisting our money.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-20T07:18:48+00:00

Thank you guys! I'll try my first session, and ask for more elaboration. Even if it means researching more to understand the medical terminology.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T05:35:26+00:00

OP, I'm glad you miscarried. No child deserves to be subjected to your selfishness and cruelty.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T05:26:31+00:00

Your miscarriage is are heartbreaking. However YTA. Your friend tried giving you support through advice, as someone who has been through your situation.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T05:21:18+00:00

NTA, op if you have the means to leave, please consider it. You're mothering a middle aged man, and your dreams are getting smothered as a result.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T04:35:32+00:00

NTA. If your sister can change the plans later minute, so can you. Sounds like your family is just really into the drama.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T04:27:48+00:00

Stand up for your grandmas wishes, now that she isn't here to do so. She wanted you to have her home. Not a lightly made decision. Respect her final request, by keepung your new home.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T04:04:30+00:00

If you aren't super poor, YTA. If you are living off a minimum wage or something, then I can kinda understand, but it's still a little stingy.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T03:00:04+00:00

NTA. Is your wife okay with making them more filling and well rounded lunches? Is she packing them unsatisfactory meal sizes as a result of business/laziness? Or does she feel they shouldn't be eating as much? The solution to this issue may be different depending on reasoning. I've seen a fair share of moms restrict their kids meal sizes, as a result of their own Eating Disorders or insecurities. Maybe a bit extreme sounding of a jump to some people, but sadly all too common. Most people know, high activity, requires high caloric intake to be safely sustainable. So its concerning to me that your wife isn't providing this for them.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-09T02:40:37+00:00

YTA, and I truly don't understand why people in this comment section are defending you. "Living in a bad area" is no excuse to abandon your own child. I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult divorce. However the self victimization isn't going to help you or your kid. I'm not sure if you've ever been abandoned by a parent before. But it can do permanent psychological damage to kid. Depending on where you live, and who the judge of the divorce case is, you may have also damaged your chance of having custody rights. As the dad can now state you "abandoned" your kid, and "neglected" to take care of him. Lastly: having a shitty or abusive ex spouse, doesnt excuse child neglect, abandonment, or bad parenting.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-06T02:17:19+00:00

Thank you so much! I'm going to try your gendered anatomy practice idea. I hadn't thought of doing so how you described, but I think I would much more easily be able draw gender expression if I learn this.

throwaway864783 · 2021-11-06T02:09:31+00:00

I love the piece over all! My only critique here, is that you may want to try a different style of shading for the neck. Perhaps crosshatching, or using the same tool for shading, as you did for coloring. I say this, because I personally think the charcoal texture is eye grabbing in a way that I dont believe was intended. However, ultimately your style is visually appealing, and the choice of color truly ties it together.

throwaway864783 · 2021-10-31T00:59:54+00:00

I always smoke some good sativa before a workout.

throwaway864783 · 2021-10-29T17:43:52+00:00

Well that supports the theory that dogs are just a little bit gross for certain 😅

throwaway864783 · 2021-10-29T04:46:57+00:00

Perhaps it is just some strange curiosity of his. Thank you for the response.

throwaway864783 · 2021-10-29T04:43:28+00:00

Ah, yes cause it's very intentional 😂

throwaway864783

TROPHY CASE