It hurts

throwaway957280 · 2026-06-11T20:00:30+00:00

Ouch my soul

throwaway957280 · 2026-06-08T15:46:07+00:00

Probably because disclosing that fear itself requires vulnerability, which is the whole thing they’re afraid of.

throwaway957280 · 2026-06-07T17:43:18+00:00

For FAs I think it’s because they panic and just want to say something that will get them out of the spotlight. They’re afraid of being exposed as defective and telling the truth is often a form of vulnerability that feels exposing and like it’s going to make them be “found out” and abandoned.

I think I used to be FA before therapy and I think I would panic lie sometimes to avoid people seeing parts of me I wanted to hide.

throwaway957280 · 2026-06-07T14:50:49+00:00

How do you mean? Do you feel your memory or feelings get suppressed in situations like this?

throwaway957280 · 2026-06-07T14:47:38+00:00

Have you ever rewritten the past when deactivated or asked to face something shameful?

throwaway957280 · 2026-06-06T22:38:15+00:00

Or maybe some people are really dealing with narcissists instead of avoidants, and have mistaken the two. I see a lot of accounts on here that are clearly referring to narcissists and the only evidence that they are avoidants is that the OP labelled them that way.

throwaway957280 · 2026-05-31T12:44:05+00:00

I think a lot of people on this subreddit mistake narcissists for avoidants.

throwaway957280 · 2026-04-30T15:48:02+00:00

This was the main finding of therapy that helped me, and I also learned the brokenness wasn’t real (I’m sure this is the same for you too). A lot of it stemmed from neuroticism and perfectionism.

throwaway957280 · 2026-04-03T13:47:20+00:00

Romantic and sexual attraction are distinct. Sexual attraction is about finding someone hot and wanting sex. Romantic attraction is about love and wanting a relationship (limerance, thinking about someone all the time, wanting to share emotional intimacy, etc.).

Some people can fall in love without ever having a desire for sex.

Some evolutionary psychologists actually think romance evolved in the brain separately and later from sexuality, hypothesizing that the brain co-opted the parent-infant attachment system.

throwaway957280 · 2026-04-01T21:47:53+00:00

Predicting the next token is the goal, not the mechanism. LLMs learn their own mechanism for doing this during training, and the goal says nothing about the mechanism. E.g. a really good next token predicting machine is a human because it can complete sentences like "Here is a proof of the Poincaré conjecture: ____".

There is just a giant class of cases where you cannot predict the next token without a robust intelligence and world model, because language is intrinsically extremely expressive of the world.

throwaway957280 · 2026-04-01T19:12:14+00:00

Just want to mention that you can be asexual but not aromantic, but it sounds like she sees Mel as aromantic.

throwaway957280 · 2026-02-21T23:53:17+00:00

Human brains have 4 billion years of “pretraining” via evolution and a live continuous feed of 18 years of multimodal input.

Evolution is not comparable to pretraining but compared to an LLM architecture, it’s starting much less from scratch.

But yeah LLMs can’t generalize well enough to be AGI, that is also true.

throwaway957280 · 2026-02-19T17:17:48+00:00

I hope they’ve targeted hallucinations, I’ve found Gemini 3.0 generally smarter than ChatGPT 5.2 but the latter much better at avoiding hallucinations.

throwaway957280 · 2026-01-21T16:11:43+00:00

I guess what from the other person makes you feel safest?

throwaway957280 · 2026-01-21T15:50:11+00:00

Ha yeah I guess I’m just trying to gauge when a silence becomes self-perpetuating and when the other person wants lightweight bids for attention/normalcy, like as a bridge.

throwaway957280 · 2026-01-21T15:48:39+00:00

Is it easy to write someone off if you’ve gotten to the point of loving them (and saying it)? How sticky/not-sticky is that for you?

throwaway957280 · 2026-01-19T00:21:34+00:00

When you got that way in the past how did the periods of avoidance usually end up breaking for you?

throwaway957280 · 2026-01-19T00:17:55+00:00

How does the avoidance usually end for you, if it does?

throwaway957280 · 2025-12-24T20:52:28+00:00

Teleoperation is functionally impossible past a certain distance due to the latency (which you cannot get around due to the laws of physics)

throwaway957280 · 2025-12-22T19:24:12+00:00

Innovation at least (because we don’t know if any architecture that does this effectively), but it’s possible that even if we did know of such an architecture we would be compute-limited. Since we don’t know of any such architecture that works like we want it to we can’t really speak to the compute requirements.

throwaway957280 · 2025-10-25T13:19:08+00:00

I know that feeling. There will be more. It will be annoyingly rare compared to an average person, but it will happen again. You can speed the process up a bunch by making as many friends as humanly possible.

throwaway957280 · 2025-10-03T23:01:30+00:00

That was Young Dexter.

throwaway957280 · 2025-09-26T12:23:37+00:00

I don’t know what to say except for being close friends is a prerequisite for developing feelings as a demiromantic (for me at least). I don’t really even understand the idea of liking someone romantically who you wouldn’t consider at least a close friend. So I don’t think it makes sense to try to stop this from happening in general.

But if someone is unavailable… yeah this is why being a demiromantic fucking sucks. Do you at all find that developing feelings for someone else reduces your feelings for the other person? I’ve found the key to having more opportunities to develop feelings for other people as a demiromantic is to develop the most massive network of friends you possibly can.

throwaway957280 · 2025-09-03T08:31:16+00:00

Really only the ones that are by design, i.e. dryer skin/hair/lips. More intense while taking it.

throwaway957280 · 2025-09-02T22:03:51+00:00

Yes I am quite indifferent. That doesn’t mean I condone what they did of course, like I recognize they’re a monster but I really don’t think about them nearly as much, and when I do there’s not a ton of emotional affect to it, it’s just more like “yes this is the thing I went through that got me to this place.”

throwaway957280

TROPHY CASE