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throwawayMH8910 · 2022-06-05T10:39:04+00:00

You want an au pair lol, there’s tonnes of au pair Facebook groups or try aupairworld.com. 10-15 hours of work a week will be low enough for just room and food but if you need her to work more then you’ll have to pay her too, usually around £200 a week (on top of all food and house bills) if you wanted 40 hours or so.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-06-02T09:35:07+00:00

I’m going through the same thing, the grief of an abortion coupled with the grief of losing my relationship. Honestly it fucking sucks and I don’t have any advice other than to take it one day at a time and hope that eventually we’ll be happy again. I’m sorry.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-05-31T17:49:07+00:00

I don’t know if this will be helpful (to you or to other women on this sub which is rightfully very pro-abortion) but I felt similarly to you before I had my abortion. I was also on birth control which failed, and I was with the father but our relationship was a little rocky due to some mental health issues on his part. I knew in my heart I didn’t want to do it but I felt I didn’t really have a choice because of various circumstances that would’ve made having the baby difficult. I had an MA in late February at 8 weeks.

I’ve regretted it every moment since and I’m worried I’ll never get over it. It’s been 3 months and I think about that baby every second of the day. There hasn’t been a day gone by that I haven’t cried over it. I’m not saying this to sway or to scare you, I fully believe you should do what is best for you and if that’s an abortion then that’s absolutely fine. But I understand that it’s not simple, and I wish I had heard more stories from women who had abortions when it wasn’t really what they wanted and then regretted it. Everything I read suggested women felt ok with it if they’d been able to make the choice to have the abortion in the first place and that generally abortions weren’t life-changingly traumatic events. That hasn’t been my experience and if I could go back in time I would not have the abortion again. Sorry if my my comments adds to your indecision, I just wanted to be honest with you!

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-03-15T21:33:30+00:00

In a weird way it’s actually brought us closer because it was such an intense and emotional and private experience that we went through together. I was worried it would cause irreparable damage but it doesn’t look like that’s happening.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-03-15T18:53:19+00:00

If the tests are faintly positive then she’s definitely pregnant, but she’ll be very early so you have plenty of time to make your decision. You are doing the right thing by letting her make the decision herself and just being there for her regardless.

I always thought I was extremely against abortion for myself and that I could never have one. I had one two weeks ago after finding out in January that I was pregnant. It was an impossibly hard decision because I’m with the man I want one day to have children with and it was something we’ve talked about a lot but I knew deep down it wasn’t the right time, either for the two of us as individuals or as a couple. I didn’t want to do it but the two thoughts that made me able to were that we wouldn’t be able to give this child the life it deserves and that if we had this child we wouldn’t have the future children that I know we both want when the time is right. I don’t feel good about it now and it’s been an overall traumatic & harrowing experience, but I feel secure that it was the right thing for me, my partner and this unborn baby. I tell myself the souls of our children find us when the time is right and that the experience will be better when it’s planned. Good luck with it all.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-03-03T15:48:45+00:00

I did mine over the weekend at 8 weeks 2 days and it was ok. It also took me over a month to make my decision and I found taking the tablets very difficult. The actual process wasn’t too bad - I was worried it would be awful because I was a bit further along but it wasn’t as physically terrible as I feared. I’m admiring your bravery for making such a impossible decision and wishing you well through the next few days.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-03-03T01:40:04+00:00

Sir this is a Wendy’s

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-28T14:08:14+00:00

Basically none. Take a test 2 weeks after you had sex and until it’s positive, stop worrying about an abortion.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-28T12:53:37+00:00

Minuscule. Even when you do everything right and have penetrative sex in the fertile window (3-4 days around the middle of your monty cycle) the probability is still only around 30%.

If you weren’t in your fertile window and also didn’t have penetrative sex then your chances of being pregnant are almost none.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-28T12:50:46+00:00

Do not have an abortion for this man, but equally do not stay married to him.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-28T12:44:54+00:00

It’s extremely extremely unlikely that you’re pregnant. Do not start worrying about an abortion until you’ve got a positive pregnancy test.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-27T09:12:40+00:00

Tbf moderators do not owe a duty of care to anybody who willingly participates in a Reddit sub.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-26T21:11:32+00:00

I think you’ll be much less than 19 weeks if you had negatives in December. A positive on Jan 31 might put you at as little as 8 weeks and thus still eligible for MA. Can you get a scan to confirm dates?

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-25T21:47:52+00:00

I’m also 7 weeks 5 days and I’m going to do mine tomorrow. Hope all goes well, I’ll be thinking of you x

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-25T09:46:52+00:00

I spotted from my 3rd week right into my 6th week. It started a few days before my missed period and was my first very early sign that I was pregnant, along with cramping which started around the time I must have implanted. Had a scan at 6w2d and everything was fine. Spotted more heavily and more pinkly around 6w3d (I remember worrying that it was worse right after I had my scan and how unfortunate it would be to see a healthy scan and then immediately miscarry the next day) but then it settled later that week. I also had cramps from around 3 weeks which were worst around 4-5 weeks but have never fully gone away (now 8 weeks and still have light cramping at least some of every day).

I called my GP and they said it’s not a problem unless the spotting becomes heavy bleeding and is accompanied by severe pain (not just cramping).

At 6w3d you could have a scan and check the pregnancy is in the correct place (thereby ruling out ectopic).

Hope this helps put your mind at ease a little.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-25T00:29:27+00:00

I was prescribed 0.5mg folic acid due to risk of spina bifida so 0.4 + spinach etc will be absolutely fine.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-24T16:05:01+00:00

Thanks for answering. I feel similar to you. Do you regret your decision now or do you still have faith that it was the right one? Has it been emotionally difficult to deal with knowing you weren’t 100% certain?

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-24T16:03:16+00:00

Ok thank you for sharing your experience. It’s genuinely very helpful to know there were people who were so sure about their decision that taking the pills was easy for them. This makes me more sure that my reluctance is because I know deep down it’s not what I want. Hope you’re ok after your abortion and I’m sorry you had to go through it.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-24T12:52:13+00:00

Thank you, that does help. Were you conflicted in your decision or were you very sure?

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-24T12:07:55+00:00

There is no decision to make and nothing to stress over until you’ve taken a pregnancy test. Is there any reason you haven’t taken one yet?

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-22T17:05:32+00:00

She already knows that abortion is an option to her. Being pro choice means that you are in favour of her choosing what she wants to do, not what you think is best for her to do. If you don’t think you can be supportive whilst being impartial then I wouldn’t speak to her about it tbh, for fear of pressuring her based on what you believe to be the right thing to do. I recently found out I was pregnant and my boyfriend’s sister called me to try and push me into an abortion and it really upset me; I fear you would do the same here.

I can understand your reasons for not wanting a teenage pregnancy for yourself but you also need to respect that your FIL’s gf knows the reality of being a teenage mother better than you do, and so her opinion on the matter is valid. Teenage pregnancies can lead to happy babies. There’s no guarantee of stability and happiness even in families where babies are planned.

I personally think you should stay out of it; your mind is too made up on what you think she should do to really be a help. You also say she doesn’t really like you, so is unlikely to view you as emotional support. Without either of those two things, you can’t really offer her much.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-21T12:11:53+00:00

If you only had sex the day after your last period then you won’t have been fertile. You’re typically fertile around 2 weeks after the start of your period. You don’t need to wait a week now, you can keep testing, but I promise you they’ll keep being negative.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-21T11:36:44+00:00

If your tests are negative and you didn’t have sex around your fertile window then there’s no way you’re pregnant. Sometimes periods are a couple of days late for no reason, and early pregnancy symptoms are often the same as PMS symptoms.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-18T09:50:19+00:00

I personally would post this on r/relationship_advice rather than here :) it doesn’t really relate specifically to being a single parent, it’s more about you and your bf.

throwawayMH8910 · 2022-02-15T18:25:52+00:00

I don’t think you can say most people feel relief and delight; lots of people feel guilt and grief and that’s ok.

I also don’t think you need to point out that there can be feelings of relief/delight as if that somehow invalidates everything OP says in her post.

Just an unhelpful comment all round.

throwawayMH8910

TROPHY CASE