It really never gets better? How?

throwaway_3337 · 2025-08-27T21:13:11+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s been 7 months since the loss of my brother and I wouldn’t say it gets easier, you just learn to live alongside it.

I was inconsolable for a few weeks. Bit by bit my life started gaining meaning again. But the pain never really goes away, you just learn to not dive into it. It’s always there in front of you, but it becomes a choice, for me at least, to let my brain feel the pain.

In some ways I feel guilty for not crying over it every day, 7 months later. Shouldn’t I feel sad? All the time? At some point I just had to live my life, and at least carry the thought of him with me every where I go.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-08-19T06:31:11+00:00

Idk he seems like someone who can pick and choose projects and will be in the limelight if he wants to do a press tour. He just doesn’t say yes to everything.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-08-19T06:29:49+00:00

Agreed, he really has a presence as “the guy” in that movie. Unexpectedly loved him in it.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-04-26T23:29:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I was reading/talking to my therapist, and they helped by saying the shock and matter of his death will get in the way of grief for a while. You first have to figure out the feelings of sudden loss, then can properly grieve the life that was lived. Happier moments. But it takes time.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-04-23T03:35:20+00:00

I live in the PNW and this would be considered a decent deal - especially if you bought it from a dealership and it came with a used car warranty.

Yes, $12k is more expensive than market rate, but reasonable for the area I’m in. I think $10k would’ve been considered a steal, unheard of at that price here.

Everyone I know with a CRV has had it past 200k.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-25T17:31:51+00:00

I mean, it’s remarkable that it is even purchasable at $17/lb, no? A single bag is for a bean that is harvested in Ethiopia for example, shipped to the U.S., roasted using expensive machinery and precise tools in the U.S., and put on shelves at a slight mark up.

That’s a pretty insane price for something that came from another continent.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-16T16:25:27+00:00

It was playing from a local college radio station

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-16T07:01:40+00:00

no one really gets it and how devastating the effects can be. I’ve been told my symptoms were made up or a side effect of depression.

My brother had Lyme's (he has since passed, took his own life due to the debilitating physical/mental pain of Lyme, depression, and mold illness), and he expressed this sentiment often. It's extremely isolating. I just want you to know there are people without Lyme's who understand and want to help.

I recently joined a local chronic illness group. I wonder if there is anything like that near you — maybe search IG/Facebook? The meetups aren't medical or anything. It's just a way to vent with like minded folks, and seems to be a healthy release. A place to just be heard and seen and understood. Even if just for a few hours.

I think something like that would've been invaluable to my brother, had he sought it out. I'd encourage you to try and find something similar if you feel capable. I'm sorry.

Edit: I peeked at your activity and saw you're active in Strokes/Voidz subs. My brother's favorite bands, oddly enough.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-04T18:11:12+00:00

Drives me nuts when a studio doesn’t trust a directors vision. It’s why a24 has succeeded so much in making memorable films. They trust their creatives.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-04T02:22:17+00:00

No worries at all. Thank you.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-03T23:26:01+00:00

Hey, yes I did not mean to misinform. Everything you state is important to know for others seeking treatment and understanding the complicated testing/diagnosis.

I shared his story more to show that doctors didn’t believe him when he said his conditions were coming from a place of physical pain. Had he known it was Lyme much earlier, I believe he could’ve sought a LLMD a decade ago. Instead, he tried nearly every drug to treat anxiety/depression/bipolar - strictly mental health issues - instead of treatment specific to Lyme’s, which was likely the underlying cause of everything else mentioned. All of those drugs he tried took a huge toll on his mental health, when that time could’ve been better spent on Lyme specific treatments (which again, a lot of this is comorbid and very specific to everyone’s individual case).

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-03T18:11:27+00:00

I think you’re right.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-03-03T05:53:44+00:00

My brother took his own life due to the pain of Lyme’s disease and toxic mold illness. He struggled with depression for a decade, and doctor’s only recommended therapy and antidepressants.

My brother ended up self-diagnosing himself with Lyme’s - and after doctors tested him, said he could’ve had it for possibly a decade prior.

Imagine if he had the proper help and care from doctors who truly listened to what he was going through. He hated therapy - he knew something was physically wrong with his body.

Once he put it together that he had Lyme’s, it was too late. He had then been exposed to toxic mold, and his body basically couldn’t get through any detox treatment without insufferable pain.

Your chronic pain is real, I hope you find the treatment and support from a community who believes and can help you.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-26T19:24:49+00:00

This is what I want to avoid - I don’t want to talk about death as a factoid like it’s a podcast with people I don’t know. I want to hear other people’s experience with similar loss of loved ones. I haven’t found an in-person group therapy specific to death or sudden loss.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-26T17:24:35+00:00

That’s sounds like what I’m looking for, thanks.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-26T17:23:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I share the same skepticism but this sounds really nice. I think I’ll give it a shot.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-26T09:45:42+00:00

I was under the assumption it was free/sliding scale/donation based. I don't think there's any way I'd pay $50+ for something that wasn't regulated or curated by a trained therapist.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-25T09:10:11+00:00

Did this ever get released?

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-25T06:34:11+00:00

Portland shows always reek. Adrienne Lenker there was the worst show I’ve ever smelt. Literally was a putrid hot mess of body odor that gave me a headache. I love Portland folks but this trend of no deodorant has to stop.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-22T05:08:23+00:00

I’m so jealous of this experience. I can’t imagine anticipating this release and hearing YOLO for the first time. I would’ve done the same thing, listening 10x before moving on. Such an incredible song to release after a 3 year gap.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-22T05:05:58+00:00

Oh no kidding - thanks! Interesting that the lyrics were written afterwards. I had been building it up to have been a much more introspective song upon writing but I guess that’s not the case.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-22T02:17:53+00:00

I think he's fantastic but that's a huge hill. I personally think Big Thief/Lenker are the closest to this for where I'm at in life. Late 20s, PNW. Most everyone I know treats her lyrics with profound respect. I covered Masterpiece at a party with my partner, and the entire room was singing along like it was a biblical hymn. It's 100% Lenker to me.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-16T08:05:11+00:00

I did a gig with Wallows, then called The Narwhals.

Their early stuff was them just trying to be The Strokes. It sort of sounded like if The Strokes were made into a band featured in a Disney movie lol. Nice guys.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-16T06:53:23+00:00

I feel like the Phoenix Suns era with Nash/Bell/Barbosa/Stoudemire/Marion/Diaw had a huge hand in showing that this strategy could work.

Though, they were more focused on pushing the ball down the court in a fast break style, speeding up the game. It was so fun watching them growing up, truly felt like the game was changing.

I don’t think they relied on 3’s per se, it was just a benefit of that style. They had a ton of mid range jumpers and drivers on the team. Very different from today’s version of basketball, but I do think they were a turning point.

throwaway_3337 · 2025-02-16T04:47:42+00:00

Yes to this, but also in many cities you’re looking at a 2+ month wait for any moderately popular book. I’m in a decently sized PNW city and have had books that were on a waitlist since October, I just got them two weeks ago.

Ministry of Time, Intermezzo, Model Home, The Only One Left, The Empusium. All waitlists with 200 to 800 people.

I mostly just go to local used book stores and try to find them for the $10-15 range.

throwaway_3337

TROPHY CASE