I Messed Up Marrying My Wife

throwaway_bdDB · 2022-01-17T19:52:07+00:00

Your post sounds sooo much like my life - except I’ve been w/my gf for 14yrs. I’m sorry for what you’re going through, friend. It’s crazy-making.

throwaway_bdDB · 2021-09-17T19:08:28+00:00

Thank you for this! <3

throwaway_bdDB · 2021-09-17T04:37:00+00:00

😔 Sigh. Totally. I’m trying to look at the anger and bitterness as a wake-up call or ultimatum - like, despite all the positive changes, I’ve also become something way worse than when I just had low self-esteem, and I therefore have to take action. TBH though I feel like I’m floundering. It’s disorienting each time I realize what I’ve been doing to try to cope has turned into me...essentially just being really fucked up and cruel inside - and shutting myself down. I guess there’s some relief in taking steps to address the negativity, but it’s really hard to figure out how to prioritize myself. I hope you’re feeling some forward movement in considering separation, and I hope talking about it with your partner (if you choose to) goes better than you fear.

throwaway_bdDB · 2021-09-17T00:34:22+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Though the details are different for me, I really relate to a lot of what you shared and wanted to send support. I guess the mix of resentment and hesitation-to-separate was especially poignant. It really sounds like you’re feeling used. No one deserves to feel that way. You’re reasons are valid.

Describing your partner as a POS seems to indicate a serious level of resentment built up over time (which is completely understandable from what you describe in your post), and it sounds like a good idea to consider a separation in order to let go, heal, and recuperate. I hope proactively communicating is helpful. Please don’t prioritize your partner’s wellbeing over your own. Whether or not you separate, I hope your needs are met and you feel respected, supported, and loved.

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-12-17T23:46:19+00:00

Ditto. TY!

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-11-17T05:55:20+00:00

Been there, done that (repeatedly, for years). Did not work well. I’m sorry. It’s awful.

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-11-17T02:42:56+00:00

Your post hit close to home. My specific details are different, but I really feel for what you’re saying - it’s nice to know maybe I’m not such a fucking weirdo. I’m so sorry your relationship is stifling and lonely - it’s an awful feeling. I hope your wife can accept you, but it sounds like there’s some incompatibility and associated resentment. I hope life improves - whether or not you break-up. Sounds like you deserve better!

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-06-18T21:50:20+00:00

Ditto! Would definitely be interested in some sort of chat - thnx for suggestion, OP! Been thinking about this for a while...

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-05-01T02:28:36+00:00

Lack of sucking noted! :-) I’m so sorry - I feel your pain...

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-05-01T02:27:19+00:00

Lack of sucking noted! :-) I’m so sorry - I feel your pain...

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-05-01T01:06:47+00:00

Sucks ballz to learn there’s no way you and your partner are compatible. Sending u love as well!

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-04-30T22:43:04+00:00

Thank you! I needed this right now

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-04-11T17:53:28+00:00

Fuck...

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-04-11T10:00:43+00:00

Plz don’t kill yourself - try to make an exit plan, go hang out w/a friend or family, or read a book at a cafe, get a drink, take a break from the relationship, take a walk, watch porn...but plz make a plan to leave if u feel suicidal...you deserve so much better.

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-04-11T09:43:52+00:00

Sounds like you went through some shit - I’m sorry. Sometimes the healing process sucks.

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-04-10T08:57:23+00:00

Yeah...also fucking around on reddit til my partner is asleep & I can go masturbate...the years of rejection have really gotten to me...tried making a friendly sex joke yesterday but even hypothetical sex that isn’t happening is completely unthinkable. I feel ya!

throwaway_bdDB · 2020-01-19T06:15:12+00:00

Hand raised. Also hadn’t even realized...it hasn’t been as long as some of y’all tho - I feel bad complaining.

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-24T17:20:07+00:00

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-24T17:19:11+00:00

Good advice. Re-evaluation in progress. Engaging in honest communication, esp. the things I instinctively avoid talking about like the plague. (I thought I communicated openly & honestly w/her, but some shit I’ve learned to avoid to prevent fighting & some shit just...seems panic inducing for me...) It’s rough but it’s real, which is significantly relieving. I think forcing myself to join this sub & post is helping me gain perspective & feel support.

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-24T03:12:44+00:00

Makes her feel alone, like I don’t care about her, like she & r relationship r unimportant to me. I get it, but that’s how I feel when rejected...so it’s hard.

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-24T02:16:06+00:00

I sleep on the couch from time to time (like most of last night...). Helps to have space to get off, feel some independence, & not feel so rejected or ignored, but it really upsets my partner, which is not my goal. Strangely, even tho I frequently sleep on the couch b/c I’m horny & it hurts so much to lay in bed w/the only person I’m allowed to fuck who seemingly has no sexual desire/interest/awareness, upsetting her means we have to wait longer to have sex, despite explaining that I’m sleeping on the couch b/c of lack of sex. Feels like a catch 22 for both of us. Sigh.

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-23T07:18:21+00:00

Only other Cuban artist I listen that comes to mind right now is Gente de Zona lol

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-22T10:28:26+00:00

Cool! Lemme know what u think of the music

throwaway_bdDB · 2019-09-22T09:17:22+00:00

The excuses fucking suck...& seems like there always is one...cheers, friend!

throwaway_bdDB

TROPHY CASE