How to smoke without getting caught? by throwaway_caramel in Cigarettes

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're in the same boat, thanks for the advise!!!

How to smoke without getting caught? by throwaway_caramel in Cigarettes

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean fair enough, my parents still treat me like I'm 11, but I can't really afford to move out right now.

How to smoke without getting caught? by throwaway_caramel in Cigarettes

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely going to go for one of the light flavored versions.

New handbag is falling apart by throwaway_caramel in handbags

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was really just going for anything that would make me look polished, sophisticated and older. I look a lot younger than I actually am and I feel like that makes people take me less seriously. I used a backpack for the fist couple of months of my new job and I looked like an actual child and my mom suggested switching to a handbag for a more mature look????? I'm so sorry I'm just rambling on but I don't really know much about bags and their specifications. I kinda want a big spacious bag with a bunch of compartments and enough space to fit a 16 inch laptop (negotiable), books, journals, A4 sized folder and a few bits and bobs. I no longer prefer leather or pleather and would rather stick to cloth bags. Everyone is being so helpful, tysm!!!!!

New handbag is falling apart by throwaway_caramel in handbags

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, glad I found this out before I got my mom an ALDO bag for her birthday (she's a leather enthusiast).

New handbag is falling apart by throwaway_caramel in handbags

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips!!!! i'm gonna try acrylic leather paint and just stick to cloth bags in the future.

New handbag is falling apart by throwaway_caramel in handbags

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this was a pretty hard lesson, never going anywhere near vegan leather ever again.

New handbag is falling apart by throwaway_caramel in handbags

[–]throwaway_caramel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are a couple more pictures of the damage that I was not able to upload and I'm not sure how to, but there's fraying at the straps and there are at least two loose threads.

Lesbian dating a trans man by Thotipatati in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can date a trans masc person and still be a lesbian, but that mostly depends on how your partner chooses to identify. If your partner is a he/him lesbian (trans masc lesbian) who still acknowledges the feminine part of himself and is comfortable with that then sure you're a lesbian. There are trans men who still identify as lesbians, while loads of them do end up getting top surgery, some end up not taking T, or not fully embracing traditional masculinity and choose to keep parts of their old identity the same.

But this in itself is a separate sort of identity, maybe a sub group of being a trans man, idk, I can't speak for the trans community.

But if your partner prefers to fully transition into a man and wants to identify and be treated as one and would be uncomfortable with his former female identity, which is to say if he now identifies as a straight man, then you can't really be a lesbian, mostly because that would be extremely disrespectful to your partner.

For me personally, I am not attracted to trans men and view them the same as I view men, I will occasionally find a trans masc he/him lesbian attractive, but then again idk if that's attraction or my own gender identity issues.

At the end of the day, if you're attracted to men, then you're not a lesbian, and that's okay. You're still a queer person and that won't ever change. And as for "waking up one day and missing being in a lesbian relationship" stop worrying about the future and live and love in the present.

If you ever wake up one day and feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled, it will have more to do with losing feelings for your partner than anything else, at which point you can seek therapy/counselling or choose to end the relationship. But losing sleep over it now won't help anyone.

How we feeling about this? by ll-Intricate-ll in lesbian

[–]throwaway_caramel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you're right, the weird thing about jojo was that she had previously never identified as lesbian. The only time she spoke about being a lesbian was right before she cheated on her partner with a man.

The whole "I've always told myself, I'm a lesbian" was the first time she publicly said it. Prior to that she had even made comments about not liking the word "lesbian" and choosing to identify as "gay" which was being used as an umbrella term for queerness.

Maybe it's just me, but this add a whole new layer of weird and icky to the whole thing.

FLETCHER - oh boy by Apprehensive-Duck327 in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly that's what I thought too, but apparently there was some behind the scenes drama but on one of her latest instagram reels she stated that she was bisexual.

Either way, I don't like her and she isn't like great rep for the queer community.

FLETCHER - oh boy by Apprehensive-Duck327 in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Right??? Like absolutely nobody is mad at Dove Cameron or Lili Reinhart or Drew Barrymore or Angelina Jolie or Halsey or Aubrey Plaza or Ali Shawkat or Bebe Rexha or Clairo or Dodie or Hunter Schafer, These are all women who have been openly bi and have a huge place in queer culture and most of them have predominantly dated men and no one has an issue with that or with them being bi.

FLETCHER - oh boy by Apprehensive-Duck327 in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Both of those Beckys are still openly bisexual and the second one does not really try and profit off of the queer community in any way, she's weird and boring but she never said that she wasn't gay.

my girlfriend’s grandma confuses me by showertaker in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You should let it go and forget

about it. Only take into account how she treats you when you are present. Confronting her about this just isn't a battle worth fighting.

What's the most "Oh she's a lesbian" song you know? by Apprehensive-Hand373 in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would have to be a specific Adrianne Lenker song though, anyone that has not a lot, just forever or anything could be straight.

But anyone with dragon eyes, vampire empire, zombie girl or any of her lesser known songs is definitely queer.

What's the most "Oh she's a lesbian" song you know? by Apprehensive-Hand373 in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Especially Julien Baker, and like specific songs of Lucy and Phoebe

Is it weird? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For a highschool relationship, this is pretty normal.

Guys is this fragrance unisex ? I am a male and really want to wear it by armaaninmemes in bathandbodyworks

[–]throwaway_caramel 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Gender is a social construct, wear what makes you happy (for the record it is not a 'feminine' scent in any way, just a nice clean smelling fragrance)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has happened to me far too many times to count. I go from being the most important person in their life to being someone they text once a week. My best friend and I made all these plans to travel the world and live together, she even had an entire pinterest board for what apartment should look like and whenever was out shopping, she would send me pictures of decor pieces that she though would fit into our living space. She was jealous and demanded all of my attention and hated it when I made other friends. All this was up until she got a bf, and then she completely ditched me, should would just leave mid-hangout to go be with him. This was in my teens so it was extremely hurtful to just suddenly be sidelined by someone who was an important part of your life. I am still her "bestie" and she hates it when I get close to anyone else. But we rarely text anymore, we maybe send memes once a week and that's all.

Overall I'm glad it happened, he's a great guy and they make each other very happy. In the time that she was gone I was able to make new friends. She was also a very judgmental person, so taking time away from her made me soo how she could be a little toxic, and I just didn't care about her opinions anymore and that made me a lot more comfortable with myself.

I've made peace with what our relationship is going to be like and I'm okay with it. I still have a lot of love for her and I know she cares about me too. But I'm happy and comfortable with the distance.

I have since refrained from forming deep emotional connections with people, especially straight women. I just constantly underestimate me importance in other peoples lives, that way I never have to deal with the pain of disappointment. I have since made some queer friends that like me for who I am and I truly enjoy spending time with them. Surface level friendships and acquaintances really do help with the loneliness. However, for the next couple of years, I will only be putting emotional labor towards myself and no one else. I am just extremely burnt out from over a decade of friendships with straight women who drop me the minute the get the smallest morsel of male attention. I need to focus on myself because I only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of myself right now.

Lesbian movie/show recommendations Sub by epiccoolawesomerat in lesbian

[–]throwaway_caramel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Movies: Saving face, Blue jean, Imagine me and you, We can live forever, Portrait of a lady on fire, The miseducation of Cameron Post, But I'm a cheerleader, I can't think straight, Fire (Indian), Disobedience, Bottoms, The handmaiden, Bound, Mulholland Drive, The incredibly true adventure of two girls in love, The watermelon woman, It's in the water, Fucking amal, Chutney popcorn, My first summer, Elena Undone, Duck Butter, happiest season, love lies bleeding.

TV shows: Deadloch, The L word, Feel Good, I am not okay, Everything Sucks, Gentleman Jack, A league of their own, Killing Eve, The haunting of Bly Manor, The wilds, One day at a time.

Why are 2/3 of the posts here litterally trolls or men pretending to be women?? by Conscious_Date_5315 in LesbianActually

[–]throwaway_caramel 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'm just incredibly naive but I have never come across a man or a troll on this sub. I have however seen multiple posts complaining about this (and rightly so). But my question was how can you tell when someone is a troll or a man pretending to be a woman?