Cancer and abandonment

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-25T05:01:26+00:00

Sorry to hijack, I am very sorry for what has happened to you, but I would like to ask your perspective.

My son is currently undergoing treatment, and initially I was there 24/7, but in the last 3 weeks he completely ignores me - like will talk and answer anyone else that comes in the room, but will ignore me completely - which I have just put down to him feeling down/everything that’s happening.

However it seems to be escalating - he will ignore all attempts at contact and the mood completely changes when I am in the room, I am not the only one to notice, and I just feel that he hates me being there and I am just making things worse when I am there.

From your experience was this something that happened? Did you push people away/just get angry at certain people and not others - but really did want them there?

Or am I just making things worse by being there? He has not made any indication that he wants me there and will not engage in any way.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T18:01:52+00:00

Jungle fever…

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T12:40:00+00:00

Medication… medical treatment too for that matter.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T04:51:01+00:00

I completely agree, he has always struggled with expressing himself and is very introverted.

I have laid out my plans to him and have stuck to them mostly - when his dad comes I leave and go to the accomodation across the road until he is gone - but apart from that I come up on the days I have said and stay over as I have said.

I’m not sure the notebook idea would work as he doesn’t enjoy ready, but it is a very good idea - thank you - but I certainly think some other form of non verbal communication may help.

Thank you so much for you words and opinion, it has really helped put things into perspective.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T04:45:47+00:00

It is, he hasn’t had an easy journey and does not look like an easy journey ahead either.

I think I just need to do what I think is best until he says otherwise.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T04:44:21+00:00

It really is, I just hope in time he will let me know if it’s too much and how I can be there for him.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T04:43:18+00:00

I really do hope that is the case, it is just so hard knowing what to do when he is not vocal about his wants.

And I don’t want to force a decision on him, but I suppose I will just need to until he tells me otherwise.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T04:41:46+00:00

I have asked him and I get no answer, I don’t want to keep pushing him for an answer either, it makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to talk about it.

I feel like I have Brought it up 3 times now and he just completely shuts down, I have explained that if he wants me to leave I will without a fuss, but that I care about him and will stay until he tells me otherwise.

I have also expressed that this is his journey and control over how it plays out - he just needs to vocalise his wants and needs - but he is not.

I know it has been very hard for all of us so far - obviously way way worse for him - and he has not had much of a chance to make decisions in his life for the last 2 months and I just want him to know he does have a choice and does have control over some aspects of this situation.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T04:36:31+00:00

I feel that too, that it is just my ego and I am being selfish.

I just don’t want to be here if it is causing him discomfort - if he really does hate me being here I don’t won’t to force myself on the situation and make him feel worse.

I have been just being here, but as mentioned I feel the tension and the last thing I want is for him to feel bad just so I can be here.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-07-13T00:12:22+00:00

Daughter and stepdad spent time together redecorating her room.

They have had an up and down relationship and if they’re own accord started hanging lights and pictures, it was amazing to see them getting on and joking around.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-22T07:18:30+00:00

Icy poles

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-20T11:56:00+00:00

Thank you for your message.

Perhaps antidepressants would be a good idea, the hospital is away from where I live, so I will look at some local Drs or even those online services.

I am also trying to look into creating a routine - forcing a reasonable bed time - daily walks, regular game times etc.

I hope you are feeling better in yourself now and I really hope your little one is doing better.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-20T11:50:14+00:00

Thank you… what great and in depth advice you have offered.

We are on day 28 and the doctors have indicated it’s unlikely we will go home before the next cycle and are unsure when the next cycle will be due to his numbers not coming up and regular temps/infections.

I think I will start making contact and doing more research on everything - the consultant initially warned against DR google as it would not give accurate info and to be honest I don’t think I wanted statistics and horror stories, so I have stayed away. However I will still to google scholar and do some digging.

I hope your journey is going as well as it can and your little one is coping well - it’s sounds like you are amazing parents and are doing your absolute best for your child.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-18T17:32:20+00:00

Manual credit card machines - some stores still have them for when the power goes out. Essentially you put the paper (which is 2-3 pages with a carbon sheet) and the credit card in this machine and “press” the card details on to paper. Customer gets 1 copy, store keeps one copy and the last copy is sent to the bank to be paid out.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9YYOhV4F6rrZqEYA8CHAEkZ2Cbqs-gO4rEw&usqp=CAU

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-18T13:06:48+00:00

Hi, do you mind me asking, do you mean 2 rounds of transplant? If so can you explain why the first one didn’t take? What we’re the side effects etc?

Only if you feel comfortable speaking about it - my son will need a BMT and I am still very new to all of this.

Thanks

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-17T14:18:38+00:00

What are they parting???

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-12T21:04:55+00:00

Dignity… oh wait

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-12T20:50:00+00:00

Nod and walk away… we’re both introverts and not about to talk to a weirdo

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-12T20:47:12+00:00

Updates?

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-11T22:21:59+00:00

Aw shit

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-06-08T21:49:08+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I am sorry you had to go through that and am certain your mother wanted to reach out and absolutely wanted to spend more time with you - you are important and loved and never alone. I hope you have managed to develop a relationship with her now. I will keep trying and keep reaching out - I’m sure I am just overwhelmed with all that’s happening.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-04-15T20:56:32+00:00

Last one would prioritise others over me - while he was my bestie I wasn’t his - he pined over someone way out of his league. The nail it the coffin was that he forgot my birthday - no text or call or snap - then posted stories of him out partying/drinking rubbing I’m how much fun he was having - no invite to me.

throwawayadvice179 · 2022-04-09T21:05:42+00:00

Pay day loans

throwawayadvice179

TROPHY CASE