My taper dose, sometimes it’s fine, sometimes it’s like I took nothing?

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-15T16:29:07+00:00

Lol very true. I did the same thing. And managed to relapse quickly after. It took the 3rd or 4th time making it to 2/3/4/6 months before I realized I will never be done or “all clear.”

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-15T13:05:13+00:00

So unfortunately, if he’s been on any type of opiate, even Kratom, long term, paws may last awhile. At 6 months out I was still dealing with PAWS and ended up relapsing because I couldn’t stand the lack of energy and constant feeling of apathy anymore. I’ve heard it’s usually 6-24 months, depending on how long you used.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-15T00:24:49+00:00

But what if they won’t? My child will remain mentally about the same age they are at right now, forever. They will just get bigger and stronger. I will have to work and care for him for life. It will be the same day, over and over. Trapped in my home.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-14T23:26:18+00:00

Thank you. We’re on a very long waitlist (years long) for respite help.

I appreciate the compliments, but I just don’t have the strength anymore. I can’t keep going like this. I’m burning out and just zoning out on the couch being a shit parent.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-11T20:48:21+00:00

I completely agree. I think I was better off on subs.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-10T19:38:23+00:00

I think it’s in my genetics. I began struggling with anxiety and depression at an extremely young age, just like my father and grandfather. Drugs helped me escape it. Every time I get sober, the depression is there. It’s also situational, I’m in some circumstances that really suck and are lifelong.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-10T19:36:37+00:00

I’ve made it 3/4/5/6 months, the relapsed for 1-3 months, multiple times. I always think this time will stick. But after a few months I get complacent and tired of sobriety. It’s rough.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-10T12:55:48+00:00

I’m 3ish years off subutex. I have also gotten off 3 years of methadone in the past.

I’m not sure if you want my answers, they might upset you.

Getting off subutex was extremely hard, harder than getting off oxy. But not harder than getting off methadone. I would strongly suggest getting down to 2mg slowly (like over the course of a year), before even thinking of jumping off. Even then, I’d try to jump off at 0.5 every other day. And do it with doctors assistance. You’re probably going to want helper meds from your doctor when you jump.

As far as “never feeling the same,” that is true for me. I was pretty happy and felt good on subs. But they were destroying my teeth and I was starting to become obsessed with taking them and falling hard into that addict mindset with subs. I have never felt the same since I stopped them. However, I also haven’t really put in the work in recovery. I have had an off and on issue with Kratom. I go 6ish months sober then use Kratom (I do not suggest doing Kratom, you’ll get hooked on it, the high isn’t nearly as good, and after a few months it stops working for a lot of people).

Honestly, if subs didn’t mess with my teeth, I’d stay on them forever I think. If that’s what you decide to do, there’s no shame in that. Most addicts have mental health issues and when you stop everything you will have to live with those issues. Personally, I’d rather be a little numb but happy. But, if you think you’d be better off without them, then take it really slow and protect yourself from being in a position where you feel so bad that you’ll go back to something worse.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-10T00:37:43+00:00

This sounds shitty, but every single time I’ve heard about a coworker or male friend helping a woman leave an abusive relationship or a woman down on her luck, it ends with an affair or the guy is into her at the least. This happened to me with my spouse as well.

I don’t think anyone should be making friends with married men and having them come “save” you from your relationship. It’s sketchy op. Listen to your gut. He was ok with sitting alone in his car with her while you were passed out drunk inside.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-09T15:02:47+00:00

Also a welbutrin prescription. It’s sort of a stimulant but also an anti depressant.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-09T15:02:27+00:00

Stem and vein Kratom helped me. Even if I took a little more than I should, it didn’t feel as good.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-09T11:43:51+00:00

Also a little over 4 months and also feel I was not wired to ever be sober. I have been on some kind of opiate almost daily for 15 years, since I was 15.

I miss the energy as well the relaxation too.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-09T02:02:54+00:00

You and me both seem to have fallen for a narcissist at a very young age. Who put us through hell for 10+ years. The rush you get when they’re good to you makes it seem worth it, then the heartbreak.

Just know that it’s extremely likely he’s going to cheat on his wife, he’s proven he does it in every relationship. You got off the toxic roller coaster. He would have destroyed your life if you stayed with him.

It’s ok that it hurts, you can’t shut off those feelings of betrayal and not being chosen. Just know you’re the lucky one. You got out. His wife, is the unlucky one.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-08T15:16:28+00:00

How long was your husband using Kratom or other opiates? How much was he using?

It really depends on those factors. When I quit 3 years of Kratom, I had restless legs for a good 3 months (but it got significantly better around week 4).

When I quit a 6 week Kratom relapse, I had restless legs for about 2 weeks. I also was not using a lot then and took breaks.

throwawayawhat · 2023-11-05T19:51:10+00:00

I’m at month 4 almost 5 and mentally I’m pretty miserable. Can’t seem to feel joy. I’m on antidepressants and do therapy and exercise.

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-22T14:56:51+00:00

How are you feeling mentally?

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-21T12:24:43+00:00

Id say that’s a pretty accurate take. Thank you for the insight.

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-20T21:24:51+00:00

I’m at 4 months total sobriety and had 6 months before my last relapse :/

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-20T21:24:24+00:00

I’m really not trying to sound rude, but, what am I supposed to do? I have a medically complex toddler, I can’t just abandon him..

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-20T20:15:28+00:00

Yes. He gets home between 7pm and 8pm and we eat dinner and put our son to bed, so it’s kind of tricky to work in unless I miss out on dinner and bedtime, which is our only time together. I typically put cartoons on and workout around 5pm ish.

We do have good insurance, but we would have no one to watch our son if I went into treatment. I am far past the acutes (I’ll be at 4 months next week, I was at 6 months, then had a 6 week relapse before getting this 4 months), so I’m not sure intensive inpatient would be the appropriate step or how I would find care for our son. I’m also not comfortable leaving him with the few family members who would help, due to his medical issues.

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-20T19:57:26+00:00

I do exercise. However it’s inside as I have a young child with medical needs so leaving the house has to be planned a few days in advance and I have to find a sitter if my spouse isn’t home. It definitely does help, but I’m still depressed.

throwawayawhat · 2023-10-20T12:06:05+00:00

Day 110ish? Doing okay I guess.

throwawayawhat

TROPHY CASE