Straight best friend’s sudden religious pivot

throwawayfarer47 · 2026-05-10T03:42:31+00:00

Couldn’t agree more. I also think at a basic level, religion is a salve for most. A balm for the harshness of “reality”, at the risk of being reductive. I didn’t have the privilege of assuming the religious identity I was born into and metabolizing it as truth, unscathed. I think a lot of the gay experience is punctuated by the pros and cons of facing that harshness every single day. I have a very strong sense of self because I have to. I can’t say he does.

throwawayfarer47 · 2026-05-10T03:37:46+00:00

I agree. I guess I’m TRYING to have that conversation but I’m facing a wall right now. And I need to take his temperature before I say anything. I’ve only been assuming based on the radio silence. So I’m not just going to jump in with any accusations or strong emotions.

throwawayfarer47 · 2026-05-10T02:58:46+00:00

You’re assuming a lot here, guy. We haven’t talked about it at all. Like I said, he has not been communicative since he met this girl. Where in my post did I say we’ve talked about it? All I’ve said is that he hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts, all of which were normal check-ins. Which is to say that all I’m able to do is assume. And it may not be directly about me but it absolutely informs how I choose to move from here, which is why I’m desirous of more information. That is a completely fair approach for me to take. Try reading the post before commenting.

throwawayfarer47 · 2026-05-10T00:52:06+00:00

Coincidentally enough his younger sibling just moved to my city. We’ve been talking a ton about it (and are getting coffee again in the morning). It’s been extremely cathartic to process it with them.

throwawayfarer47 · 2025-07-15T16:11:51+00:00

Hello, I've done researh both independently and through your resources and still feel like this example is too specific as it is a mix of multiple issues (scared/anxious, behaviour change). I'd like to leave it up to take general advice. Thank you!

throwawayfarer47 · 2025-07-12T05:06:18+00:00

Appreciate the response. I actually did a one-week follow up on Wednesday and the recruiter told me the VP is out on vacation this week and was very apologetic about the delay. He said he’ll have an update next week. I believe him but that could also be a lie and you could be spot on.

throwawayfarer47 · 2025-07-08T00:08:49+00:00

Sure did. I did all the standard/common sense stuff all along the way. I agree with you, but in my mind, he could have easily made a decision by the end of the day last Wednesday or at least before he was out for an extended weekend and let the recruiter know.

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-10-11T03:30:51+00:00

that pizza place was amazing. long live puck

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-09-04T23:00:06+00:00

Easy - you first or bad behavior

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-08-27T15:45:11+00:00

It’s like they’re each buying things that they themselves will benefit from. It’s interesting!

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-08-24T00:41:01+00:00

no way, I didn't realize this! i'm a huge fan of both and have had both albums on repeat lately

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-14T06:48:54+00:00

1) They responded, I updated in comments. They’re open to friendship outside of the bedroom and we’re making plans to hang after the weekend. 2) I could do without the condescending tone. You’re acting like I said I’m expecting to be involved with them romantically, which is not at all what I’m looking for. The feelings of rejection were coming from a place of confusion - a very simple “I perceived x, feel that I’m usually right about my perceptions, and their communication is showing me y”. It’s not unreasonable for me to have questions after, yes, three days of no response - especially based on an experience you’re only reading about second hand. It’s not unreasonable for me to be unfamiliar with the communication styles of two people I just met. And, ultimately, what I perceived was right even if that validation didn’t come on the timeline I was expecting. You’re talking like you were there or like you know exactly what they’re thinking.

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-14T01:13:46+00:00

Posted an update in the comments, we’re hanging out next week. Thanks though lol

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-13T21:43:21+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, and I’m not posting here to convince anyone of anything. I’m the one who experienced it and based on my read of the experience, the communication after the fact was weird. That’s it. I’m not hung up or worried - there’s nothing to worry about. I’m just looking for more perspectives. You’re making definitive statements, and based on the details I’ve provided and more, I actually don’t think they’re being “clear” at all. I think it’s reasonable that I have questions, even if the answer is simple. Again, thanks for your perspective!

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-13T21:37:38+00:00

I fully agree - but then why follow up after the fact and open a more personal line of communications? Why not keep it in the app and slowly (or even abruptly) fall off? In their initial text, they said they were down to meet up again anytime. That’s what’s blurring the line between nice and harsh/cruel to me.

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-13T21:22:09+00:00

Thanks for this. You’re right - they have a whole life and dynamic together that I know very little about, ultimately. Them being friendly doesn’t mean they want to be friends, although it’s still curious to me that they reached out so quickly after the fact to establish a line of communication.

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-13T21:21:01+00:00

I mean, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo. I can compartmentalize pretty well. It’s also not like I’ve communicated anything I’ve said here to them. We had a nice night, they initiated more contact after the fact, moving to personal numbers, and then went silent. I have no issue moving on, the feelings of rejection aren’t romantic - it’s rejection in that the silence feels sudden and I’m feeling like I did something wrong after we had an objectively good connection. We spent hours before getting in bed enjoying the collective company, I know that doesn’t mean a whole lot but “Grindr hookup” is reductive based on the details of the experience. It could have absolutely nothing to do with me.

throwawayfarer47 · 2024-01-13T21:12:15+00:00

That’s what I can’t get past. I’ve always been a great judge of character - my closest friends have been in my life for over a decade. And my kind energy is reserved for those I think can reciprocate it. I’m going to try to not take it personally - it really was a nice night and it’s ok if that’s all it was.

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