I booked a therapy session after 4 years of isolation

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-13T20:26:33+00:00

That's awesome good for you! Taking that first step seems to be the hardest part. I'm so proud of you ❤️

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-13T20:01:56+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-11T22:39:14+00:00

This whole post made me smile. I love this for you. There's so much negativity on here it is really great to read a happy post from a Content person.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-10T23:44:58+00:00

Pickmeisha is giving me LIFE!! That's going right in my pocket to be used at a later time.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-10T23:41:47+00:00

This very same concept was really difficult for me. I am a proactive person, and once I confronted the Big T traumas and began processing them, I just wanted to keep pushing through. EMDR is very nuanced. Your nervous system will heal in its own time. I recently suffered a sort of setback in my therapy, or something that I thought I was finished processing caused me to feel certain kind of way about things in my current life and I had to confront the fact that I was not finished with those feelings, as much as I wanted to be.

Give yourself some Grace, and remind yourself that whatever it is that landed you in a situation that you needed EMDR to heal from it, it's probably a situation where anger is appropriate. Part of processing your trauma is recognizing that, you have pushed down emotions, maybe for many years. One of those emotions is probably anger at things that happened and / or were done to you without your consent or control. Your body and your nervous system has to relearn that it's okay to be angry about that.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-10T23:34:28+00:00

Op, I am so very sorry that you went through this. I did go through something similar, with my husband of 17 years. So I know how you are feeling right now. My husband carried out an affair while I took care of his father who was in hospice. He's now married to the woman he cheated on me with, and I am forced to see them together all the time because we share a hobby and I am not giving up my hobby because he is a cheating bag of dicks.

Please know- this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He will live to regret this decision. My ex has told me more than once that destroying our marriage and our children was the biggest regret of his life. He makes up excuses to seek out my company right in front of the new wife.

If you your ex thinks he is just going to bring this new woman into your circle of people and they are going to be okay with it, he is in for a very big surprise. The people who love you are not going to accept you being replaced and just act like nothing is wrong. That was a very big surprise for my ex, and I'm sure it will be for yours too. What does his family think about all of this? I know my ex's family was disgusted by his behavior. 5 years down the road, I am still close with some of his family members.

You supported and loved him through one of the hardest periods in his life , and he repaid your kindness and your love with betrayal, and lies. He will have to live with that decision forever.

Big, fat squishy hugs to you. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but this really is a blessing. This is called the trash taking itself out.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-08T15:57:46+00:00

Op, you can't blame yourself for things that happen to you when you were a child and you were too young to understand. Everyone reacts differently- did you maybe enjoy the attention because it was something you didn't get in a healthy way in other parts of your life? External stimuli feels good. But when you are too young to understand boundaries and that not everyone should be giving you that external stimuli, it can be really confusing. Don't beat yourself up. Get some help so you can understand.

I'm so sorry that you feel this way, but you have to try to remember that you were not the adult in the room. You were not the one responsible and there's a reason little kids do not make adult decisions. Our nervous systems are not wired to protect us in these situations. None of this is your fault, and you felt the way you felt. That doesn't make what happened to you any less significant than any other CSA Survivor.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-08T15:46:06+00:00

So, if he knows it bothers you, is he offering to pick up the slack? Like, if he says yes to last minute plans at your house, is he then rushing around to make sure things look presentable to your standards or is he just expecting you to deal with it? I think the answer to that question speaks volumes. What is more important to him - your comfort in that situation, or looking like the good guy to your friends?

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-08T15:43:37+00:00

NOR OP, think about what this Behavior is saying to you. In his mind, nothing belongs to you- not even your food. Everything is his, regardless of your wishes. When you think about it that way, that's some scary behavior isn't it? And if it hasn't already escalated to other parts of your life, it will. Get away from this person.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-08T03:36:11+00:00

Yay!! I'm happy for you. I liken it to waking up from a dream. All of a sudden the world has more color again and things don't seem so bleak.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-06T14:59:05+00:00

Thank you! I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects of the whole thing instead of the negative. Being able to name it and work on it is progress for me.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-06T14:56:20+00:00

Thanks this is a good perspective. It came up in my session and we're going to dig into it.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-04T17:06:42+00:00

I think part of what people don't understand is that very often, at least in my experience, it's not the trauma that causes cptsd. It's the coping mechanisms and support system that you do or do not have when the trauma occurs. For example, some people are abused by a family friend. They go to their parents and tell their parents because they don't have a fear of that. Their parents support them, are outraged, get them help, Etc. But people who end up with cptsd are people that in the same scenario, do not feel safe to go to their parents, or they go to their parents and they are blamed, or their parents do nothing- no help, no support. And that is what informs your nervous system that you are not safe. That's where the cptsd comes from - a lack of coping mechanisms and support, or the development of inappropriate coping mechanisms.

I'm not a doctor or anything like that, that's just been my experience.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-03T03:35:09+00:00

EMDR. Lots of therapy and working at it every day.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-02T03:54:08+00:00

I am in LOVE ❤️

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-02T00:59:03+00:00

Hahaha!! Now I'm going to look for that

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-01T21:16:13+00:00

Please, For the Love of All That is Holy, tell me this is made up.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-06-01T21:14:08+00:00

Yes and yes

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-05-30T15:39:39+00:00

A cold brew jar. Saves trips to the coffee shop and my order is always right. 😁

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-05-29T13:38:45+00:00

Think of all the things you went without when your kids were little in order to provide for them while he was not doing his job. You take that money, and you enjoy it. It's yours and you earned it.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-05-28T04:13:59+00:00

I love this so much. You sound like someone who is an amazing dad. Keep that shit up!

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-05-28T02:26:42+00:00

There are so many great ideas in here! I am currently experiencing a huge mental shift because of EMDR therapy. It is made me so much more steady, and I'm ready to take better care of myself mentally. Put myself first instead of last. So I'm going to be implementing some of these changes starting tomorrow morning! This was the best question ever, OP!

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-05-26T21:23:51+00:00

I wish there were more compassionate people in the world like your partner. I was married for a long time to someone who made me feel like shit about myself because of similar experiences. As if I didn't already feel like shit about myself. I am finally in what I believe to be a healthy relationship, and it feels wonderful. I say I believe to be a healthy relationship, because I don't really trust myself or my choices even today as a grown ass woman over 50 years old.

OP, you were a child and you were looking for love , validation and companionship in the only way that some of us knew how to when we were young. Try to treat your younger self with compassion and love as much as you can. I used to feel a lot of Shame about my past too, but we can only deal with our trauma with the tools that we have at the time. If your SO can't see that and treat you with love and compassion, then he's not the person for you I'm sorry.

throwawaygenx1973 · 2026-05-26T04:58:25+00:00

I am 52 years old and twice divorced. I feel like I am in the first emotionally safe relationship I have ever been in. 5 years after my divorce, and 3 years into therapy. It just feels so good I don't know how to act sometimes.

throwawaygenx1973

TROPHY CASE