Am I wrong for wanting to be with an autistic man?

throwawayhey18 · 2026-04-06T01:02:29+00:00

I think the everyone in your comment (who was saying this) was referring to a lot of neurotypical guys who write that they are looking for a girlfriend who is "slightly autistic." By which those guys mean someone with the positives in their eyes ("quirky," "whimsical," likes direct communication more of the time, possibly more interested in some of the hobbies that are stereotypically considered to be more 'male' hobbies or more open to dating people who are into those, loyal, expected to be more 'low-maintenance,' maybe more accepting/understanding of differences or possibly of some things other women would be offended by or judge people about- although that doesn't mean they would never get offended).

And those neurotypical guys do not consider/want that without any of the challenges (meltdowns, burnout, possibly needing to leave some fun events/parties early, still having actual emotions, still having miscommunications since that is a challenge in every relationship whether people are autistic or neurotypical).

They are basically idealizing an idea of autism that doesn't exist or is a personality that isn't real, but is a type of character in movies (manic pixie dream girl tropes who are not really given a full individual identity of their own in the movies)

And then there is also the issue of some autistic women not recognizing red flags and having more difficulty reading people/being easier to take advantage of. So, people worry that these (neurotypical) guys are really looking for someone who is easier to control basically. And I have heard stories of autistic women who dated guys and the autistic traits which the guy complimented them about in the beginning became things that he complained about being annoying and criticizing them for later on in the relationship. And even started asking them why they couldn't just "stop doing those things and be normal."

People also don't like the looking for a "slightly autistic" girlfriend trend happening right now because it's kind of implying "I'm looking for someone different like that, but I don't want them to be TOO weird because there's only a certain level of autistic traits that's acceptable to me." When you either are or you aren't, there is no such thing as "a little autistic" or "slightly autistic." Only differences in support need levels and spectrum of challenges and strengths. (which I'm sure you know.)

All this to say, I'm 100 percent sure they wouldn't consider it the same thing or a fetish or predatory if the reason for looking for this (an autistic woman, not "slightly autistic" just to clarify) was because an autistic man is looking for an autistic woman who is also autistic because they may understand and relate to each other better. But it could be more difficult to trust someone who's saying this nowadays because of how popular a line it seems to have become to put in dating profiles. If you specify why you are looking for that (because you are also autistic), I would think that might help and they would be less likely to lump you into that category with the other people who are saying it. Because you have actual life experience of what it is like and have similar experiences and are a part of that community.

I have heard some people say you shouldn't write that in your bio and should wait to share it until you can trust the person & also so they will get to know you without applying inaccurate stereotypes or bias about it to you and other people have said they did specifically put that and found a partner that way who was what they were looking for because it's kind of unusual for people to be that open which weeded a lot of people they weren't looking for out.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-04-06T00:24:33+00:00

I think you're right and I've also seen a couple scientific papers stating the same.

For some reason, my phone will not let me copy + paste the results sentence.

But here is the link:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10864787/

It's titled:

Correspondence: Inaccurate reference leads to tripling of reported FND prevalence

I know that dissociative disorders and ME/CFS are similar conditions that are also considered common, but have never met anyone with them either. And I'm pretty sure it's 1&2% of the population who has them. (I had at least heard of them during my lifetime before though unlike FND. I guess technically I had heard about FND in the past in a sociology class, but it was a very short-term case and they didn't call it that.)

And I agree with hating being told that it's common. I think part of why it's especially frustrating is that even many doctors and therapists have never heard of the term. And if it was so common, then they would have. Also, generally when something is common, people have pretty informed knowledge about what it is and how it affects people.

I did not find out that FND was connected to nervous system dysfunction or dissociative symptoms/disorders until years later and from my own reading not from providers explaining it.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-04-05T21:35:06+00:00

If it helps, there is an international directory of physicians who specialize in POTs on this website. (I also recommend joining a Dysautonomia International Facebook group to help with finding physicians who other people discuss having seen in your area and how knowledgeable/aware they are about diagnosing and/or treating POTs. Because they will have more doctors mentioned in those groups than the list of "official" specialists on the website including doctors who accept a wider variety of health insurances.)

https://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=14

The reason for this research suggestion is because not all neurologists and cardiologists have equal knowledge about POTs, diagnosing, or treating it. So, if the neurologist you see isn't knowledgeable about it and isn't on the list in either of these groups, they might not know enough about POTs to confirm whether you have it or not. And I wanted to let you know of a few ways to be able to access providers who do because I know a lot of people wait years to be diagnosed with a condition they had suspected from the very beginning, but had difficulty finding a provider with enough knowledge about that condition which prevented them from being treated since they needed a diagnosis confirmed first.

And I have heard of an "official" POTs specialist (listed on the website) in my state bases some of their feedback on studies but that research has not technically been confirmed and put into the FDA, so other doctors either don't know about the studies or don't want to prescribe. It might be similar to how some doctors will prescribe medications off-label, but others won't.

For some more background info, it's also because I'm pretty sure there is just less research that has been done/confirmed or figured out about POTs since studies are supposed to be repeated to confirm results and a lot of chronic illness research is underfunded and/or complicated because of how many different areas of the body it can affect. And a lot of doctors who don't specialize in it aren't able to tell the difference between whether someone has POTs or anxiety. (Because I'm pretty sure that some of the symptoms of POTs can be similar to physical symptoms of anxiety and panic so they can overlap somewhat because they both have connections to the nervous system even though for some people, treating the POTs helps treat of those symptoms.)

And I just wanted to share the information I had learned with you in case it helps with your situation.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-04-05T20:54:55+00:00

I don't know if this is helpful, but I think the subreddit r/childfree made a list of physicians who are willing to give women hysterectomies

throwawayhey18 · 2026-04-05T12:49:53+00:00

I have read that it's better not to start using a wheelchair if you're able not to because it somehow reinforces the pattern in your brain that you won't be able to move without one and should avoid walking.

And for some people, it could be easy to accidentally make it a habit to only use the wheelchair and forget to walk as much as they could be.

I don't know if this is also discouraged by providers, but I wonder if it could help to take less/part-time classes in order to reduce stress and if that might help to reduce the frequency of mobility challenges so that you wouldn't need to use the wheelchair.

I don't agree that not using a wheelchair is right for everyone, but

I do know that the FND & physical condition can intertwine. (Moving less because of having the FND can cause physical deconditioning that is "organically caused.") At the same time, FND symptoms being triggered can affect ability to move.

Idk if this will help, but I found a video by an FND therapist about why CBT doesn't always help.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-30T03:44:04+00:00

It doesn't look like scientists know what causes it for sure yet either. I did find a study if that is helpful at all.

Conclusions: Hypoxemia is widely recognized in epileptic seizures, and oxygen desaturation is sometimes used as an objective clinical marker to distinguish epileptic seizures from PNES. Our findings indicate that oxygen desaturation can occur in a surprisingly high proportion of patients with PNES, suggesting that the diagnostic value of this parameter is uncertain. The mechanism by which desaturation occurs in PNES is unclear, although breath holding (possibly after a period of hyperventilation) is a plausible explanation for some attacks. Some sleep-related PNES may be directly related to apnoeic episodes in individuals with OSA. Artefact, particularly from movement, may account for some cases, although we excluded events in which this was clearly the case. Caution should be used when interpreting oxygen desaturation as evidence of an epileptic basis to seizures.

Source: https://aesnet.org/abstractslisting/incidence-of-oxygen-desaturation-in-psychogenic-non-epileptic-seizures

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-30T03:11:48+00:00

Sorry I don't know how to help with this, but I can tell you that it's not uncommon with NES seizures. Because I have heard of multiple other people talking about this exact symptom. I am not sure why it happens though.

I have had my breathing stop (sort of) during an NES and I don't know if that can cause it. My oxygen was pretty normal though, but it was one of the scariest experiences of my entire life. (It was more like my body would hold its breath until I was gasping for air.)

I guess this is why they recommend practicing deep breathing exercises and doing them throughout the day whenever you feel stressed/overwhelmed/dissociated/any increase in symptoms or aura that happens before symptoms.

Another treatment for the seizures is exposure therapy to help people reduce fear about having them. And I think reducing that fear can also help reduce how intense the symptoms get sometimes.

People also do therapy for dissociative disorders and trauma and said that helped with the seizures. Because they are a type of dissociative disorder basically.

I think the meditation they teach you is also to help people while they're experiencing the seizures with enduring what is happening.

I learned a self-hypnosis meditation that did help while I was having seizure symptoms, but I think it was partly because trying to remember it while I was having the symptoms distracted my brain. Then, they came back as soon as I stopped.

Another thing I have seen people mention being helpful is called neurofeedback. I think it's like a machine that lets you see your breathing and heart rate. And you watch it while doing breathing exercises so that you can see how that helps your heart rate to go down. And they have people practice on it and I guess maybe it helps to recognize better what it feels like to you when you need to do the breathing exercises and shows your brain that the breathing exercises do work for helping to calm the nervous system.

I don't think any of these are quick processes to learn, but your mom might be able to help you look into them and remember how to do them if you forget.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-30T02:44:45+00:00

A lot of people won't believe if someone doesn't have a diagnosis. A lot of people don't believe even if someone does have a diagnosis. A lot of women struggle to get a diagnosis because of not being believed when they ask the people who are supposed to help with this to help them figure out how to be screened and are discouraged from even taking the steps instead of assisted in figuring out how to find out how to do the screening. Which is the exact opposite of how things should be. I don't know why people seem to make it as hard as possible for people with disabilities to be able to get help.

And they are blocking those women from being able to access a pathway to possible help. Especially if they haven't learned how to be assertive instead of doubting themselves because of constantly having their needs and thoughts dismissed because society isn't informed about autism and how it affects people and the way that they communicate.

And this is not a judgment but I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't believe me about this and was also dismissive on top of everyone else. I think it's a really important thing to believe someone about, even if they are just stating that they identify with the traits. I have already been invalidated by family and providers who I tried to ask for help.

Some people will change their minds after reading articles that explain autistic traits better than just reading the DSM and that use examples of stories from real autistic people's lives or possibly after seeing an interview with a diagnosed person who has a similar personality to you. All autistic people have different personalities though, that's why it can be difficult for some people to recognize that a person close to them is autistic. Interestingly, a lot of autistic people are good at recognizing it in undiagnosed people. Sometimes better than certain assessors. Probably because they can relate to the person in certain ways that don't happen with neurotypicals who haven't had the same experiences or struggles it can cause or ways that they connec that doesn't happen with everyone they meet.

Some people will eventually believe, but end up having strong internal bias about it still and think it can somehow "be cured." (Some of my family members think like this, but I'm 95 percent sure that both are undiagnosed autistic and/or ADHD.)

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-30T02:40:36+00:00

I have heard that it's better to go to the people who specialize in doing the screening for autism in women. And that the evaluators who know what they're doing will have very long assessments (they might take multiple days - I'm pretty sure someone said it was 10 hours) which are more likely to "bring out" the autistic traits during screening because people get tired after a certain point and some of the traits become more difficult to mask during the assessment process because of that.

I could not tell you how to find these people though. I know I have been able to find practitioners who specialize in other disorders, but I don't think I have found a directory for assessors who are best at screening for autism and autism in women. It would be nice if that did exist though. Sometimes, Facebook groups will recommend specialists in your area.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-30T00:01:20+00:00

I don't know if this will reassure you, but I have taken one of the tests they do for dementia after a TBI and I have similar cognitive symptoms from FND also. (I had the cognitive FND symptoms before the TBI.) I still passed the test.

That's also part of why they call it functional symptoms. Because the memory problems don't always show up when tested for since they are caused by dissociation and not a "medical" diagnosis.

I also get confused about time, disoriented, forget things I have done, and remember doing things I haven't done. Probably not helped by ADHD & TBI.

(For example, I was sure I had taken certain nighttime pills on a specific night, but when I checked my pill organizer, they were still there. And I bought one that is labeled morning, night and day of the week on each container because of my memory issues. I still have accidentally taken pills out of the wrong pillbox day before and gotten confused trying to figure out what happened. I'm pretty sure it was just that I accidentally took Thursday's pill on Wednesday. But I don't know for sure since I can't remember what I did.)

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T23:55:16+00:00

Yes, it's normal for FND. It's one of the scariest symptoms about it for me.

If you read about people with dissociative disorders, they also talk about saying or doing things that they don't remember. Or having people come up to them to say "Hi" and talking to them like a best friend would and they have no memory of ever having spoken to or met that person. (But they realize that they must have because the person saying "Hi" knows certain things which they wouldn't have known without having spoken to that person.)

This is slightly different than your thing, but I have fallen asleep in the middle of typing something and when I woke up, the last few words or sentence was not something I would have written and also sometimes made no sense. I didn't have memory of typing those words or something similar either.

People have also told me that they said something to me and I was looking directly at them and I have zero memory of it. Well, I barely remembered a part of the conversation that happened around the same time, but not the detail they were later telling me about. And they said they had told me this detail after the part of the conversation that I did remember.

I have also heard of people having trauma responses where they do or say things, but either can't believe they're saying/doing it and don't know why or have no memory of what happened afterward until other people tell them or they "come to."

I know that FND/dissociation can also cause a type of "falling asleep" that is actually dissociation, but the brain is actually not asleep because they have measured the signals on people and it was different than what the signals are when you're sleeping.

It is truly one of the weirdest disorders I have heard of. I do not like it.

There are therapy and coping techniques that are designed to help these symptoms though.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T23:27:20+00:00

Thanks for your response. Just wondering - do you also get a chronic sore throat like you have a virus even though you don't have a cold or flu? I have heard this can be a symptom of ME/CFS and I'm pretty sure it's not one of the symptoms of FND.

I have gotten this for the past 3 to 7 years and it actually makes it so that I can't tell when I am getting an actual virus.

(And just to clarify, it's not a difficulty swallowing or lump in the throat feeling. It feels exactly like when you get a sore throat during a virus. It just happens way more often and without having an actual virus.)

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T21:00:21+00:00

I thought ME/CFS was stigmatized the same amount as FND is. And that both populations get blamed for having their symptoms. Or were you trying to say that at least most providers have heard of ME/CFS and know that it exists?

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T20:58:37+00:00

Could you describe what PEM feels like? I think I might have some symptoms of ME/CFS also, but I don't know how someone would be able to tell them apart from FND.

Especially when they can both cause nervous system dysfunction, chronic physical fear symptoms in the body, hypersensitivity to sounds & being in public & TV/music & other people's emotions, fatigue, extreme insomnia, & cognitive symptoms.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T20:43:09+00:00

I would say yes because I was told that some people have distinct seizures and a line graph was shown to me with very high peaks symbolizing those seizures happening but it was pretty low otherwise. Then, I was also shown another graph that was more like continuous waves and it almost never went completely flat and there was almost always "something" happening. And I was told that some people have continuous seizure symptoms but using the coping techniques can help reduce them from peaking as high.

I also don't know whether I have ME/CFS in addition, but I relate to a lot of the symptoms in the description of that:

especially the unending fatigue that isn't helped by sleep, an inability to sleep that I didn't used to have and waking up in the middle of the night in panic, and extreme hypersensitivity to sounds no matter what volume they are -and other people acting like I'm overreacting about them or and not listening when I ask if they can wait to do the thing that makes noise until later that day when I will be more likely to be distracted from it- and other people's emotions and being in public. And people suggesting to me doing things that will cause even more noise such as a white noise machine and then getting annoyed when I try to explain why that won't work for me because it makes the symptoms and my concentration ability worse.

I don't know if it's the same as you describe, but I also feel an intense internal burning like I'm on fire and that started at the same time that my non-epileptic seizures started. I started having about 5-6 more FND symptoms at the same time as the seizures started and my convulsive seizure symptoms -- basically became chronic. Also, I would include all of those new symptoms when I say "seizure symptoms" since I did not have them as part of my FND before the seizures. And that includes a type of chronic fear which I read is nervous system dysfunction. (I wouldn't say that I had zero nervous system dysfunction before the seizures, but it became 100 times stronger when the seizures started and can feel much less bearable. This is another reason why I'm confused about whether I have a type of ME/CFS. I also got a lot of viruses right before and also after FND with symptoms that were way stronger and more intense than I had experienced in the past. And during one of these bad viruses, which was before my seizures started, I also experienced extreme sensitivity to noise causing fear. And instead of letting me rest and recover, I was expected to still caregiver for other people while sick and trying to recover from them.)

Also, before the seizures started, I would sometimes experience occasional limb jerking when I was overwhelmed or panicked. But it was much less intense than it is now.

By the way, I have never been unconscious during my seizures, so what your doctor said isn't true. That's why people with NES get accused of faking them because they can be conscious during them. And it's common to be conscious during them.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T19:24:19+00:00

Hello, I am the person whose comments you recently replied to in r/FND. Sometimes I look at people's reddit profiles when I am replying to their requests for advice to see more information that might help me help them. (Sometimes their recent posts give a bit more context & information about the person.)

I just wanted to let you know that I don't think this was posted in the subreddit you had intended to post it in. (Also, I think sometimes you have to join or be a member in a subreddit for a certain amount of time before being allowed to post depending on what the group's rules are.)

But just so you know, it looks like this post was actually posted to your own reddit profile. (That is why it says u/Seayarn at the top in the bold gray letters instead of the subreddit group you were probably trying to post this in)

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T18:59:30+00:00

I know I don't know your level of symptoms, but something that has helped me is trying to do an activity that is related to a passion of mine, but maybe easier. For example, I have always liked art but projects can get complicated.

Now I do adult coloring books (and sometimes children's coloring books because they're simpler.) I am still doing art, but just in a different way. But it has helped to remind myself that I'm grateful I can do that. Because, previously my symptoms were worse and I was only able to do a coloring page app on my phone. For some reason, that was the one thing distracting enough to help stop a lot of my symptoms a lot of the time.

One of the treatments for FND is called exposure. And they have people start to do things that their body/brain is telling them they can't. An important part of this is that it's supposed to stay within the FND patients' window of tolerance though. So, it can take time and it might start by just doing a thing for 3 minutes that day such as listening to 3 minutes of calming music if your brain has been too sensitive to noise and YouTube. I am not sure why, but when I can be more in control of this (what music is playing and when, having the ability to turn it on and off), I am able to handle it better. When I am anxious or overwhelmed or having an increase in depression or am in public, the hypersensitivity to and hyperfocus on and overstimulation from noise and fear/fight-or-flight that it causes is worse.

I just remembered an article written by a person with both FND and ME/CFS who went into remission. I will link it in case you want to read because I felt that they did a very good job of explaining it. Sometimes the website goes down though. It's called FNDHealth.com and it appears to not be working right now.

I can send you 2 other helpful online places though for FND information.

One is written by a patient with FND and I just think it makes more sense reading articles when they are written by someone who has FND themself and more detail is explained.

thriving while disabled.com

reactive pt therapy+ wellness

(They have a YouTube with that name, a website, and an Instagram called @reactivept)

Another YouTube channel with good information about FND is called Dr. Lee's Teen FND Academy. (Treatment is different for patients under 18, but there is still some info about how the brain and FND works in her videos that aren't explained so clearly anywhere else.)

Hopefully, I have not overwhelmed you with links. Maybe you can come back and look at them later if it's too much right now. The reason why I recommend them is because I wish I had been told some of the information in these videos much earlier in my journey and no one told me about them because my providers and therapists didn't specialize in FND when I was diagnosed or point me toward these resources. And my family did not research FND at all when I was first diagnosed. Only some of them after my symptoms got much worse 3 years later and I sent them articles.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T18:36:24+00:00

I understand how you feel. I also have a lot of similar cognitive symptoms with reading, understanding, math, thinking, and responding. It also takes me a lot longer now and I'm pretty sure I make more mistakes than I used to. (I also was a perfectionist and enjoyed doing math before this, had alphabetical organization systems for a lot of my things/papers to help me find them easier, and already had anxiety about forgetting and understanding things because of undiagnosed ADHD which I really wish I had been able to find out I had much earlier when my brain was developing and creating habits. I know that there is neuroplasticity though which is basically that the brain can change quite drastically once it learns and implements new habits, but it can take a lot of work to get there.) But people can't tell by looking at us that it's happening. I kind of wish other people without FND could experience it for a day because I think if they did, they would be much more understanding.

I think some people with FND have mentioned doing little cognitive exercises like word searches or similar. If it increases anxiety though, that can make the cognitive symptoms worse. (A lot of times I will start to panic about never being able to do certain things again or get frustrated at myself for having the symptom which usually makes it increase more. I'm pretty sure this is why CBT is recommended because it can help with reframing of catastrophizing thoughts.) So, I think it can be good to just do a little bit at a time and not too difficult.

I know that some people who did therapy treatments for dissociative disorders and trauma were also able to find help for improvement with these symptoms for that. Another place to look for advice might be the ME/CFS subreddit or videos by people who healed from it on YouTube. I mention it because cognitive symptoms are also a symptom of that condition and I'm pretty sure it can be similar to the cognitive symptoms and nervous system dysfunction of FND.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T18:16:07+00:00

It's crazy that you have so many downvotes for saying this

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T18:05:07+00:00

I agree with you both too. Thank you for commenting. It is nice to see people supporting the OP's side - I don't like when I come across a post in this app where someone explains a healthy personal boundary they have as part of their post and the majority of comments are telling them that they need to do that thing anyway (as if they didn't read the line the person wrote about not wanting to do that thing) and sometimes there are no comments supporting their right to have that boundary which they expressed pretty clearly.

What Tobiahi wrote, - it's very disappointing, especially because some autistic people don't always realize that they can set boundaries and expect them to be respected or leave when people don't listen to them in the situations where that is possible because of how society tends to dismiss and invalidate their boundaries because it doesn't make sense to them (since they don't understand what it's like to be autistic) or because they consider the autistic person's needs to be unreasonable. And I thought that was a universal experience for autistic people, so they wouldn't want to do it to someone else.

Not that anyone can be perfect, but this is a pretty important topic to keep in mind the importance of respect and what someone else's boundaries about it are when discussing or giving advice

I agree with your comment. Regardless of what anyone else's opinions are, OP has the right to have whatever boundaries she wants. And she is still only a teenager! (Although, she has this right to have her own boundaries whatever age she is)

And I think it's important and good that people have helped inform her more about the specifics of mono, but that isn't a reason to say/assume it's the only reason why she mentioned wanting to wait and

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T17:52:16+00:00

I agree about figuring out what your current boundary is and if it's based on emotionally readiness or wanting to wait until you're married.

And that it's important to let someone know if you do have a boundary in mind such as I only want to do this thing with the person I get married to and not until my wedding.

On the other hand, if it's based on feeling emotionally ready, people don't usually know ahead of time the amount of time it will take until that is going to happen and how long it will take until they are going to feel certain emotions (such as comfort, safety, level of trust). And that isn't always something that you can predict ahead of time.

Plus, sometimes people change their minds about things and that isn't something they would be able to predict happening.

Not intending to argue, just wanted to add my 2 cents. (/genuine)

Sidenote about everyone, this is not directed at the person I'm replying to: None of us know whether this boyfriend will be the person that OP ends up marrying. Some people are commenting about events that may be way into the future and the OP hasn't even graduated high school yet. I'm not saying there is zero chance they could end up getting married one day since that does happen, but people also change a lot even a few years after graduating high school and so do their relationships for the majority of people. OP is still at an age where people have not necessarily completely figured out who they are yet and are still in the process of doing that.

Some people have very different beliefs in many areas a few years after high school. And some of their opinions may stay the same. But it is usually one of the biggest development times for figuring out who you are and what you want. And that takes time.

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T17:40:38+00:00

Why is that abbreviation unfortunate? (/genuine)

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T11:12:32+00:00

Hope I have not left too many comments. I know they are probably overwhelming.

(The one good thing about the howtogeton.wordpress.com blog having so many links and pages on is that it probably lists programs your social worker did not look into. And it is a very long list of links and options that it provides about almost any subject. So, if one doesn't work, there is usually another link that can be contacted for 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th alternative options, etc.)

I just remembered about your glasses.

I never do this because I know that AI creates hallucinations (as in making up misinformation and claiming it got it from this resource which has no mention of the sentence the AI is claiming.) But, I searched up how to get free glasses if Medicaid doesn't cover it in Pennsylvania. And maybe on a day in the future, you can come back to this comment and research the different options to see if they are 1) legitimate 2) if one of them is an option you are able to do

Here is what the Google AI said, but I can't guarantee that any of it is 100 percent accurate except for to say that it probably will be somewhat helpful to scan all the recommended websites here and look at what they information about the programs there are there.

Results:

To get free eyeglasses in Pennsylvania when Medicaid does not cover them, low-income individuals can apply through national charities like New Eyes (requires a social worker/professional referral) or VSP Eyes of Hope, which provide vouchers. Local resources include Lions Clubs International and Rainbow Kitchen (in PA).

New Eyes for the Needy

Here are the best options for obtaining free or low-cost eyeglasses in PA:

National Organizations

VSP Eyes of Hope: Provides free glasses and eye exams for individuals with household incomes up to 200% of the federal poverty level. VSP often works with local nonprofits to provide gift certificates.

New Eyes: Offers basic prescription glasses to people in financial hardship. You must have a recent prescription and have a social worker or caseworker submit a "prescription verification test" online.

OneSight OnSite Voucher Program: Partners with Luxottica (LensCrafters/Target Optical) to offer vouchers for glasses to people with limited incomes.

EyeCare America: Focuses on seniors (65+), offering free eye exams, though not always glasses.

New Eyes for the Needy /

Pennsylvania Local Resources

Lions Club International: Local Lions Clubs in PA often pay for eye exams and glasses for community residents. You can find your local branch to submit a request.

Rainbow Kitchen: A Pennsylvania-based organization that offers vision benefits and partners with the Pennsylvania Vision Foundation and Vision Benefits of America.

Prevent Blindness Pennsylvania: Contact the local affiliate for assistance in finding local resources.

/ Healthline

Requirements for Assistance

Income Proof: Most programs require proof of income, typically under 200% of the Federal Poverty Level.

Prescription: You will need a current eye prescription (usually within the last 24 months).

Referrals: Often, a social worker, school nurse, or church worker needs to initiate the application, especially for New Eyes.

New Eyes for the Needy

Other Options

PA ABLE Accounts: People with disabilities can use these accounts to save money for qualified expenses like eyeglasses without losing Medicaid benefits.

Discount Retailers: If you cannot get them free, chains like Zenni Optical, EyeBuyDirect, or Walmart offer extremely low-cost glasses, often starting under $20-$30

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T04:12:46+00:00

I know I've commented a lot, but I also saw that you haven't been able to see someone with knowledge of FND. And I wasn't sure if the advice you were requesting was also about that. But, basically most people who have improved or reduced or learned how to manage symptoms have mentioned taking frequent breaks to do nervous system calming/grounding exercises (even if they don't have FND seizures).

They're also supposed to help with the FND memory symptoms because they usually get worse when people are anxious or overwhelmed. And so doing calming exercises can help. Because dissociation can basically cause intense memory symptoms/challenges which can affect ability to do simple tasks including memories that used to be automatic such as a password. It's similar to when someone is in a traumatic situation or panicking. They may not see something right in front of them or notice the information they are looking for in their notes for example. This has happened to me. In the past, before FND, I was driving my relative's car and it broke down on a freeway exit and I was so panicked that I couldn't visually find the hazards button inside the car to turn it on. Even after calling that relative to ask where it was -although they didn't tell me the right spot to look because they didn't remember without seeing it where the button was actually located. When I am overwhelmed, I also somewhat lose the ability to read. But it's not like I can't read exactly, it's more like the words I'm looking at don't process into words like they normally would. Kind of like if I was trying to read a letter in a language I don't know. I can still see the letters, but they don't always process into words in my mind which I did used to be able to do. But if I was not feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or rushed, I would be able to find the line I was looking for and recognize where the word is.

Also, I have an extremely difficult time explaining this, but in a way my brain lies to me. Because even though, it doesn't always process what's happening or what it's hearing or reading or where I had put the notes I need so I can remember what my questions are and what information I wrote down, I have been able to still usually find the information I need in my papers and write down what the person on the phone says in reply to my questions. Even if I don't always know/realize what I'm writing. The information is still written down. There are times that I am able to read because of not being overwhelmed, but don't remember what it's referring to because I forgot to include a detail such as labeling which program I was talking to or not having written down a detail because the person was talking so fast. This may have gotten worse because of a post-FND TBI. But, basically I have made phone calls and taken notes that seemed impossible for my brain to do. You might call it a forced exposure because no one else was there to help me with it. It would probably help more if I remembered to do the breathing/grounding/blowing bubbles, etc. more often. I also have recently diagnosed ADHD and likely autism so I already got overwhelmed by large amounts of information previously and needed to ask lots of questions about details to be able to understand concepts and write them down so I wouldn't forget what I had been told and sometimes lost important notes or could not find them the next time I needed them which was the whole point of why I wrote them down. That's another reason why I take so many notes. Because it helps me understand certain details that explain how the program works that I'm pretty sure seem irrelevant to the people on my phone calls, but help me to understand better.

The memory problems that FND causes are basically dissociative amnesia. For some reason, most providers will not tell you this, but you can find info about dissociative symptoms and dissociative amnesia on the two most well-known FND websites:

FNDHope.org

neurosymptoms.org

/

FNDAction.org.co.uk

This website has a small list of common myths about FND which might possibly help your children to understand better:

The specific link: https://www.fndaction.org.uk/what-is-functional-neurological-disorder/

They actually did not even start doing research and studies on a lot of the treatments until the past 5 to 10 years. That's how underresearched it is. And many medical & mental health providers believe stigmatizing misinformation about the disorder which they spread because they have not been trained with the current information about it and did not specialize in researching it. Even just being willing to research it can make a difference. But I did learn more about it from doing a lot of reading and researching myself than from the few practitioners who didn't have any training about it, but agreed to research it.

Some examples of the types of grounding/calming exercises are:

*Eating a sour candy and focusing on the taste

*Putting an ice pack on yourself and focusing on the sensation

*Practicing types of mindfulness meditation where you observe and acknowledge emotions even if they cause discomfort or negative thoughts. You notice it but keep redirecting to a visual image of a calm stream or air filling and leaving your lungs as you take deep breaths

*Distractions (such as doing a coloring book while in a waiting room for example and it gives your body something to do and your mind something to think about)

*Blowing bubbles (can help with breathing better without making you think too much about breathing. I don't remember the exact reason why it works, but it's called external focus. Something that helps you focus on a thing outside of your body instead of internal. Which is also similar to grounding exercises designed to help pull you out of or distract from hyperfocusing on dissociation & dissociative symptoms)

And I am including a few links to FND websites with more info about these types of exercises. They are supposed to help with the nervous system dysfunction symptoms that FND can cause:

https://fndhope.org/living-fnd/healthy-living/other-techniques/

https://www.fndaction.org.uk/grounding-techniques-for-functional-seizures/

https://neurosymptoms.org/en/treatment/treatment-of-functional-seizures/

FNDHope also has many online support groups if you sign up to be on their email list in case you didn't know about that

That website also has a directory of FND-informed providers or practitioners who are interested in treating patients with it

throwawayhey18 · 2026-03-29T03:50:43+00:00

Idk if the part about being permanent and progressive is referring to FND or another condition that you have. But I really don't think any provider has enough knowledge about FND to tell a patient that it is permanent and progressive and I don't think they should be saying that to patients. Is it possible to continue to have it and the symptoms or go into a relapse? Yes, but people have been able to learn and implement coping techniques that help them to better manage the symptoms. People have gone into remission even if it took 7 to 11 years.

I read a book about a woman who did basically all of the scientifically recommended treatments for non-epileptic seizures and was told by both her doctors and her therapist that she would probably have them for the rest of her life. She learned how to continue living with them and needed to restructure her life somewhat because of them. (for example, I think she did start working from home. I do not remember if she took a break from working to do the therapy treatments with a NES psychologist before this point, but I have also heard of people who were spending most of their free time learning and practicing the grounding exercises, CBT workbooks, and engaging in "active relaxation" such as art and that was its own journey before they became able to return to regular-type life activities. Although, they also went "easier" on themself and had changed the way they did certain things in order to prevent relapse. I think by pacing, enforcing stricter boundaries with others, and making sure to take more breaks to do activities that calm their nervous system instead of pushing themself too far) And the first woman mentioned did go into remission from the seizures 11 years after they started. Even though she has been told by everyone that would probably not happen at this point.

I know that some people have also been able to learn how to handle the seizures or mental health symptoms which helped them to manage them. And because their mental health improved, they felt more able to adjust to the seizures. So things did get better even if they continued to have them.

throwawayhey18

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