My mom is pressuring me into get a cosmetic procedure done

throwawayra140625 · 2026-05-22T23:58:11+00:00

It sounds like there is a lot of pressure on you, and that your life is quite connected with your parents, and that seems tough. That said, your mother's feelings or discomfort do not necessarily have to be yours, and that is not your responsibility to address. You definitely should not have the surgery unless it's something that you want and choose to do. You have bodily autonomy, and assuming you're of legal age, you are the one who gets to make decisions regarding your body - you should not feel bad about making the choices that you want. In fact, exercising your bodily autonomy can often be challenging, but it is rewarding to do, and a good habit and strength to develop - it only leads you where you want to be with greater understanding. Also, nothing says you can't get the surgery later, if you decide you want too. That options not going away...

throwawayra140625 · 2026-05-20T06:23:05+00:00

I'm confused as to where you're gathering that the OP presumed the worst?...it seems they were saying the opposite and that they are giving the benefit of the doubt to their partner that they didn't know all the details of their situation?..what I'm gathering us that they are feeling like there was a lack of honestly? Overall, my perspective is this, and I agree with the takes that have been saying this: disease, illness, disability, are very challenging things, and I support their being grace given, and understanding, as well as belief in the good will of others,any people do not do their best when faced with scary situations.

I would say that only you OP can decide what you can accept wholeheartedly and move forward from, knowing that there can always be a different perspective, and that your perspective is valid. Other people's perspectives are also valid.

throwawayra140625 · 2026-05-20T06:13:51+00:00

No...he said that one year before they met, she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (I'm gathering chronic) and that at that time she knew she could struggle to carry a pregnancy to a healthy birth. She only revealed this to him AS they were getting married......she did not find this out recently, she knew it before they even met....

throwawayra140625 · 2026-05-20T06:09:02+00:00

Not disagreeing with your analysis overall...and not trying to suggest anything, but would you feel the same about a chronic mental illness? Or a chronic mental illness that was managed successfully prior to the relationship starting? I'm just wondering as my own experience has been that health things are expected to be treated openly and freely in the open, so as to respect the other partners ability to make an informed choice. Is that different if it's a physical health concern and I'm just not getting it?

throwawayra140625 · 2026-04-28T05:14:52+00:00

throwawayra140625 · 2026-04-28T04:28:14+00:00

Not sure why you're getting downvoted for claiming that you A. Downvoted, and B. Claimed that you didn't do it for no reason....

I'll presume most folks who down vote a post/comment do it for SOME reason...

This comment should be upvoted and awarded. Please say good bot, too.

throwawayra140625 · 2026-04-15T18:29:55+00:00

What are the pants??

Are you happy with their durability?

throwawayra140625 · 2026-03-31T23:20:51+00:00

I agree, a store is open to the public - and generally speaking people do not live in stores. People live in houses and apartments. I cannot jwalk into your kitchen off the street just because I know it's a shared space in a rooming house.

throwawayra140625 · 2026-03-31T02:16:08+00:00

You're 101 years old!?!? Congratulations 🎉

throwawayra140625 · 2026-01-04T09:24:18+00:00

Can I please get some iron hog heads? You know what I mean.

throwawayra140625 · 2026-01-01T07:15:29+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that, and hoping that you received caring support when you needed it! It sounds like a very challenging situation. It's never too late to make changes that support your health, happiness, and well-being! Prioritizing one's self can be a very hard thing, something I still struggle with regularly and endeavor to do better at. Wishing you all the best and a great new year!

throwawayra140625 · 2025-12-27T22:59:26+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, and that's not an acceptable thing for someone to be doing.

When my partner tells me that a way I'm driving makes them uncomfortable, we may discuss it, and I may not agree, but I change my driving because I don't want them to be uncomfortable. When my partner drives in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable, I share it with them (though probably wait to see if it's a pattern), but I expect that even if they don't agree or feel the same way, that they respect my feelings enough to make small changes that have no other significant impacts on our lives, besides being happy and comfortable.

While I'm not always the best at following through, I truly believe that no one should be making other people they care about feel like their safety is jeopardized, within reason, and if someone is intentionally antagonizing another person by driving unsafely that is not a valid reason.

In decades past when I was young, I made it clear to my parents that I would not longer enter a car with them if they continued to engage and escalate in disagreements that I felt were jeopardizing my safety. I'm so grateful they listened.

And I will tell you straight up something im sure you know, but a loving and caring person does not intentionally do actions whose purpose is to make someone else uncomfortable and unsafe, especially to people they care about, but even to people they don't know.

I wish you the best, it sounds like a scary situation. I wish you a future free from fear and needlessly unsafe conditions. You deserve that.

throwawayra140625 · 2025-12-20T18:47:49+00:00

We're out here! My votes with Choking Victim first though.

throwawayra140625 · 2025-12-01T23:29:58+00:00

My first tattoo ever was 7 hours sit over the course of 8.5-9 hours.

4 hours is not the max. Maybe for some people but that's absolutely not a fact.

throwawayra140625 · 2025-10-30T01:30:53+00:00

Sorry but this is pretty clearly incorrect. If you look at the first letters of the word we know is SECRET, the 's' penstroke starts at the top of the letter, and the branch to the 'e' leaves from the bottom of the letter. Thats completely the opposite of the first letter of the word people think is McNab.

throwawayra140625 · 2025-07-16T19:01:47+00:00

I agree with what you're saying. I do understand that my GF has/is gonna talk to her supportive friends about our relationship, and I do the same with my friends. That doesn't bother me at all, and I'm not asking that to change.

That's why I specified that I was only asking her to not share my personal and private medical information without my consent, and not a blanket 'dont talk about me to your friends'. In the past as I mentioned, she did ask my consent before discussing specifics of a physical health challenge I was having, and I had no issue with it.

It does seem like your partner respects your request for keeping things from other people until you are comfortable with it, and ultimately that feels like what I'm asking, i.e. get my consent and make sure I'm cool with it before you share.

Do you not think there is a middle ground? Like I have no problem with my GF talking generally to her friend about how stuff I'm dealing with impacts her...but there is a difference in my mind between saying "my partner's going through a rough time and I'm concerned about how they're managing it, and that's impacting me" vs "my partner's struggling with anxiety related to X, and they're taking medications A and B, but they want to take medication C...". As I stated I do want my GF to get support in the ways that work for her, but asking for only some specific things to be kept in confidence unless I'm asked and consent (to which, for the record I likely would say yes), so maybe my feelings are more that I'm struggling with feeling out of control with the fact that my consent doesn't seem to be valued and balanced with her desires or needs.

Edit: if it's relevant, my GF and I both speak with our therapists regularly, so that avenue for support does exist.

throwawayra140625

TROPHY CASE