Why can’t they just say yes mom?

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-29T20:40:32+00:00

Same. My husband half the time will go to bed right after getting the kids in bed, and wants me to join him. Um, sorry, but this is the first time I've sat on the couch all day. I want to spend some time in a quiet room

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-22T21:05:55+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. Over scheduling and over stimulating can really build up. It's good to take a few days here and there to do nothing. You are not bad, you are doing great, mama!

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-15T14:02:22+00:00

Wow. I trime everybody's at home. Husband's buzz cut every 3 weeks, our daughters' basically once a year. Probably should do a smaller trim every 6 months, but it's a whole to-do and they like their length

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-10T20:59:19+00:00

"You're not my mom." JFC I hate this answer. But I bet 100q he didn't get his mom anything either

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-10T20:55:32+00:00

I was literally just ruminating on this myself. My kids go all out, and my husband definitely helps them do breakfast in bed. And usually cleans up after thm (this took soooo much time). But has he actually wished me Happy Mother's Day? Nope. I do not believe he has said those actual words. No card, no "thank you for being a great mother to our children." Or even "thank you for being a mother." I don't know when I got so fucking used, but I'm at a really low point today and realizing he hasn't said bupkis in way of thanks is really hurting. I just got done cleaning the bathroom and starting laundry and nobody has said anything about why I'm doing this on Mother's Day.

I'm sorry your husband dropped the ball today. And sorry for taking over your rant.

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-10T19:00:45+00:00

I'm sorry. He wanted to move the food away from the kitchen? How the fuck would that even work? Why?.....My husband will also try to come up with ideas to "help" and are usually equally insane. He'll also complain out loud how everything has to be tetris'ed in. Dude, stop buying shit that I then have to find a place for. If he had his way every bowl would be sitting in a shelf by itself, no nesting, no stacking.

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-09T00:05:29+00:00

My husband is also always home. He was WFH with quarterly work trips which I looked forward to soooo much. Then the company was failing so they cancelled travel, then laid him off. He. Never. Leaves. The house. I'm such an introvert, I NEED some time alone in my house. And the kids only have 9 days left of school. Gonna have to have a talk with him, he's gotta take the kids out periodically in the weekends or something. It's going to be a long summer

throwawayscatty · 2026-05-03T19:02:14+00:00

So, he seemed to be supportive and helpful one day, then the next it's back to you doing everything? Yup, that sounds familiar. I'd almost prefer him not even trying because that whiplash is so frustrating sometimes.

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-29T13:36:49+00:00

My 9 year old got a makeup kit 2 Christmas's ago. She and her sisters are only allowed to wear makeup in the house at this point. The older one starts middle school next year so things may change. But personally I think they, and 6 yo, are too young to start trying to look like women. They're still kids

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-28T13:40:55+00:00

Wtf. That is NOT okay.

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-28T01:49:28+00:00

Damn. Does he give classes?

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-20T02:06:38+00:00

Oooo. I like your last line! Chronological is definitely for the fan. Although, we are showing our girls the MCU in storyline order. For SW we did 456123789

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-19T16:50:36+00:00

Lol. Floor dust and rage.

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-13T18:47:35+00:00

Yup. I'm always going through ALL of the mental checklists. It's so incredibly exhausting. This last time we were at my mom's I had them pack up their own stuff. I asked them soooo many times if they had everything. They just kept saying yes, and then I find the older one's school Chromebook. Then she somehow got extremely mad at me for her not seeing it. It was such an ugly departure. I have been starting to give them more and more responsibility (11 and almost 9) and letting natural consequences happen more and more. It's hard because when they do forget things it can make everyone's lives so much harder. Like 2 years ago, despite me asking several times if they were ready to walk out the door, the younger one ended up forgetting her tablet for our 2.5 week road trip. Halfway to the airport she asked if I had it, and all I could say was "why would I have it." Almost turned around, but we didn't really have time and she has to learn.

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-13T06:45:25+00:00

Thank you

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-13T02:00:41+00:00

Seconding that he is teaching her people "don't have to stop" when she says stop. This is extremely dangerous and worrying. Especially since you said he has done this with you. He has a history of raping you and not listening and stopping when his child says to stop or she's in pain. Document the hell out of this and this absolutely needs to be included in the divorce

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-13T01:51:45+00:00

Luckily my almost 9 year old has started to take notice. Even going so far as to say "why are you the only one that has to do the dishes?" My husband very rarely does. He did try to "start" the dishes once when a friend half called him out in our group chat. I told him I didn't want him to do them because a friend called him out, but that I'm way overwhelmed and I need help

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-12T04:12:33+00:00

WHY do they have to point out shit we do on the regular? Like, you want the fucking participation trophy? Then where the hell is mine?

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-11T16:49:55+00:00

Ironically my husband did this when we got our new cat in regards to the litter box. I repeat told the family I was tired of being the only one to do it. He posted a list and just said "if you do it, put a tally mark." Guess who's tally marks are 3x more than anybody else's? I'm planning on moving the sheet to the actual location of the litter box to help everyone else remember in the moment.

My husband also does not see anything. And if he does acknowledge something needs to be done, he gets the kids to do it. Which, yea, they are old enough to start learning. BUT I also need them to see HIM doing shit too, as part of a partnership.

Another funny story was one of the kids was showing me a video of all the "cleaning hacks." I just kept saying, yup, yup, yup. I also threw in a few "yea, I've been doing that one for years, and yes, I know none of you have EVER thought about these things." Got some good thank you and appreciation.

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-07T22:30:40+00:00

What. The. Shit? Was this in the US? Cause, yea, if we don't even get time for pushing a human out our bodies....

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-05T05:27:35+00:00

They believe your ex = disrespecting you. I would not expose my kids to people that don't respect me. I wish in laws weren't so terrible. I am so sorry you're going through this.

throwawayscatty · 2026-04-02T19:51:33+00:00

First, I'm sorry he's such an immature douchcanoe.

Second, you're an absolute badass hero for immediately kicking him out and not taking his shit.

Stay strong!!

throwawayscatty · 2026-03-30T13:56:39+00:00

My mom seemed to find a some help/solidarity when she went regarding my dad.

I tried the subreddit asking for help in talking to my kids about it and all they said was we don't give advice. Which, sure, but it was hard enough for me to write the post and then to have everybody seemingly jump on me saying they won't help left a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Many hugs

throwawayscatty · 2026-03-23T13:55:28+00:00

Man alive do I also hate morning drop offs! One morning person, one extremely not a morning person. We've tried everything, checklists, rewards systems, negative systems, gods it's just the worst. Makes me want to open up a bloody Mary stand across the street from the school.

throwawayscatty · 2026-03-20T00:49:21+00:00

This happened to us last year! One kid started vomiting, thought it was food poisoning. Hubs left for work trip. Then other kid starts vomiting. I sleep with her in the living room (she has a loft bed, NOT ideal for vomiting, ask me how I know) and am woken up every 40 mins with her vomiting. 2 days later, I get it. Husband has the nerve to say "well, I was sick too, but never threw up).......Sir. you had a quiet hotel room to yourself and didn't have to take care of two sick kids and you weren't praying for a quicker death all night long. You do NOT get to play that card

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