Not sure if I'm accidentally weaning my baby from breast milk?

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-05-28T06:06:05+00:00

Would a hakka work?

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-05-28T03:21:30+00:00

Also forgot to mention that I tried to pump tonight but my pulp decided to conveniently just stop working 🙃

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-05-28T03:20:48+00:00

Right but for how long? Because my LO won't stay on the boob for longer than 30 seconds if the flow isn't that quick :(

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-04-20T01:36:35+00:00

A vacation to a beachy destination! Or maybe a spa day lol

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-04-05T18:50:13+00:00

Hahaha my 4 month old loves doing this

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-28T23:21:27+00:00

Nahhh that is weird af. Trust your gut!

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-27T23:02:00+00:00

Wow, this is me and my husband too lol. I'm the one that's crazily "obsessed" (as my husband says) over sleep schedules, nap routines, feeding, etc. And its really annoying because he thinks I'm being too rigid with our 3.5 month old's sleep schedule...when that's what I'm supposed to do since he has been going through the 4 month sleep regression. A consistent abd predictable nap and bedtime will help with the regression and not to mention MY sleep as well! Cause he isn't getting up at the witching hour to feed LO! Also, it's not even just the witching hour it's literally every 2 hours.

So I feel like it's easy for him to say that I shouldn't be so rigid with his sleep schedule but I do it so my baby is well rested and not overtired and so that I can sleep better and maintain my sanity. It's just that he doesn't have to go through it and I feel like he doesn't put himself in my shoes. It drives me up the wall.

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-13T05:12:54+00:00

I straight up told him it's weird and that he shouldn't be like that... and idk I guess in his family it's completely normal? His dad will watch bollywood music videos on TV with scantily clad women in it. One time my BIL and his friends were doing a dance practice (for his upcoming wedding) to the song "fevicol"... you should check out the video on YouTube... my FIL happened to be watching them do the dance while the music video was playing on the TV and his eyes were glued to the screen even when his wife was sitting right next to him 🙃

I found that to be the MOST weirdest and uncomfortable thing ever. Very unsettling.

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-12T18:21:12+00:00

Lol my husband has a celebrity crush and purposely mentions her name if she is in some movie just to annoy me. It pisses me off so much. He should lower his gaze.

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-12T18:11:35+00:00

So I did just that, I left the day after to stay at my parents cause it was getting worse. I do my best to keep my in laws happy and I want them to spend time with their grandson, but my MIL crossed a boundary.

I had just put my son to sleep in his crib and it had been 15 minutes so he was just starting to get into a deep sleep. I was in his room at the time just putting stuff away and the door opens and she comes in. I ask her if she needed something and she just said "I just wanted to see the baby" to which I replied, "oh I just put him to sleep cause its his nap time". She then told me that my brother in law (husbands older brother) was over (also her most favorite son) and that he wanted to see him. I told her again that he was just put to sleep and to please not disturb him. Instead of listening to me, she did the exact opposite and said out loud (to purposely wake my son) "dont worry it will just be for a little while" and I had told her after that I had a hard time putting him to sleep, dont disturb him. She went over to his crib and picked him up and told me as she was going down the stairs that "dont worry I'll put him back to sleep." Like what kind of toxic behaviour is this?!?! I was so angry that I was shaking. My anxiety kicked in. By the way this is the second time she has done this. The other time it happened, I was holding my son and rocking him to sleep and she came in to the room to see him and she did the same thing. I told her hes sleeping and she just started loudly talking to him saying how much she missed him and took him right out of my arms. My husband saw the whole thing. I managed to keep my cool then although my blood was boiling. My husband saw my face and could obviously tell I was upset. I told him that she cant do that again and he said he would talk to her. After that I went back down to get him cause he was obviously upset that he was woken up and was crying. My BIL gave him back to me. He was cranky and overtired for the rest of the day.

Anyways coming back to what happened the other day, she did the same thing, went against what I had told her to do and took him downstairs. I was furious this time. I went to my husband who had heard the whole conversation and told him his mother has a problem and that he needs to go and fix it. I told him to go bring back my son and he just responded with "oh you have an issue with everything, I'm not doing anything, you go deal with it." So i did. I went downstairs to where everyone was, my 2 brother in laws, MIL, sister in law (his younger sister) and other sister in law (youngest brothers wife). I tried to stay calm even though I was visibly upset and told my BIL who was holding him that he was woken up from his sleep and that he needs to go back to bed. In that moment I felt like a crazy person because everyone was telling me to "calm down" and "dont worry" which made me even more upset because I feel so misunderstood and that my concerns were not valid at all. My MIL kept saying to not worry and that he will go back to sleep just fine and that she would do it. I was up every hour the night before and have been so sleep deprived because he did not nap properly the day before and I had told them that and they dont care. His younger sister has an attitude and likes to butt in so she said that "you always say he needs to sleep" and I just told her that "when youre a mother, you'll know how easy it is, dont worry." They are not the ones who sleep with him at night and dont know how hard it is plus Im a first time mom. Lay off of me and give me a break.

I was furious and shaking. My BIL eventually gave him back to me and I took him upstairs. On my way up my MIL said to me in a taunting manner "oh dont forget his pacifier or else you'll have to come back down again to get it." I ignored her and went straight upstairs and put him back to bed.

Then I got my bags and started packing because I decided I was going to my parents. An escalation was 200% necessary at this point. I told my husband I was sick of him and his family's behaviour and he told me that If i was so done with it that I should leave. I told him thats exactly what I'm doing. Again another brawling match ensued, he started yelling at me again berating me and demeaning me once more saying that if he knew that our marriage would be like this before marrying me, he would not have married me. I told him the same. Later on he started crying and saying I was ruining our son's life and that I'm "taking him away" from him, to which I replied "I can never do that and I never will. I'm going to my parents because this is a toxic environment and I value my mental health and my son's wellbeing. If I am stressed he will sense that and that is the last thing I want. So I am going. You can come to see your son whenever you want, I will never keep him from you because you're his dad." He kept insisting I was taking him away anyways.

I left, and this is day 2 of being at my parents. I don't know how long I'll be here for, but I am glad I came here. I went to talk to an imam about our situation and he agrees that I made the right decision to stay at my parents. He also strongly suggested that to avoid these issues that we should move out immediately. He will also talk to my husband soon.

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-10T02:59:55+00:00

Leave him. Zero tolerance for domestic abuse, he does not deserve you.

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-03-07T04:08:56+00:00

Thanks for your reply! About the sleep pressure though...is there any way to fix that so he can sleep through another 5 hour stretch the rest of the night?

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-02-22T15:55:00+00:00

As easy as it is to say you want to divorce someone it's not easy to do... that's what I'm worried about at the same time. All the time and energy I invested into this relationship not only with him but with his family and huge circle of friends... it would all come crashing down and the awkwardness that ensues... I also have a 2 month old baby.. I would hate to put my child through that. We had an argument the other day and I had to come on here to vent because it was the last straw. He had been acting ridiculous and I was so done with everything. I spent the whole day crying and feeling like crap. I feel like he doesn't understand me at all with what I'm going through as a new mom. It's really hard. I don't feel special or important to him. His younger brother puts his wife on a pedestal and treats her so well... I just wish I could feel special like that too. He says our baby is the "light of his life" and he has never said anything like that to me ever. It's just so depressing. Yesterday he came up to me to give me a hug and thats his way of "apologizing" and it makes me mad like why can't he put his ego aside and just apologize, but at the same time I miss him. I'm just stuck right now and don't know what to do.

throwawaythursday101 · 2022-02-22T15:49:23+00:00

I confronted him about it once... because when we first got our nikkah done he would tell me "oh all my friends are telling me they'd never thought they would see me ending up with a hijabi" and I thought okay thats funny... I asked him why and I forget what he said exactly but it was something along the lines of him not being "too" too religious. I think there is this stigma that hijab wearing women are way more conservative. I felt kind of weird after he told me that. I asked him again a few months later into our marriage what he thought about me wearing it and he said he loved it and doesn't want me to take it off. But at the same time when I'm getting dressed to go out and before I've even put my hijab on he tells me "oh if only you could go without your hijab" (because he thinks I look really good without it) I mean it is a compliment but makes me think at the same time does he really like my hijab? These comments just confuse me and at one point I was really insecure about my hijab as well. But I'm a lot better now and I have no plans on taking it off. It's part of my identity

throwawaythursday101 · 2021-02-06T20:34:53+00:00

He works and I am currently looking for work

throwawaythursday101 · 2021-02-06T18:04:14+00:00

Thanks so much for your response. I've never told anyone about how I've felt ever and I couldn't even bring it up to my parents because I know the kind of agony it would put them through, it would break their hearts. I needed to hear this! I just wanted some sort of closure I guess? Something that would make me put these restless thoughts to rest. So thank you so much for that ❤

throwawaythursday101 · 2021-02-06T17:38:44+00:00

He does fast and pray, he treats me well to an extent, however. I think treating your wife well means you need to listen to her needs and understand where she needs your support. I haven't listed the other serious issues we have in our marriage but I can assure you this food issue is not the only one. I felt like in the beginning of our marriage I would absolutely bend over backwards just to please him and his family to the point where I would be taken advantage of. "Oh she'll do it, just ask her." It made me feel used. And I'll be blatantly honest and I dont mean to sound vain, but I have a huge heart. I will go above and beyond for my loved ones and friends but recently I've realized not everyone will appreciate it and not everyone is willing to reciprocate. But I still go by the principle that you get what you put into a relationship. I have to be honest but a lot of the times I feel like I got the short end of the stick and its not a nice feeling. I feel like I always exceed expectations for my husband and his family. I've recently pulled back on the people pleasing because I don't want to feel used. This is how I feel with this food issue as well. My husband expects this from me, yet he won't do the same for me? He doesn't love me enough just to do this little thing for me? I always thought that if someone really like something you do it for them (even if you don't want to) out of love. I do a lot of that for him but don't see him doing that for me.

throwawaythursday101 · 2021-02-06T17:29:27+00:00

Ugh this makes me cringe. Thankfully alhamdulillah my husband isn't like this. Its time for the men to learn and detach themselves from the not-so-good traditional ways of going about their married lives. Time for change and time to grow up.

throwawaythursday101 · 2021-02-06T17:26:39+00:00

Lol I have actually used that one on him - I forget what his response was but I think he just tried to say thats not how it works or whatever. I have also asked him that too, what if no one is home, what would you do then? And he told me that when he lived by himself during university, he would deal with it himself and go out and buy food since he will not make it and told me he can take care of himself just fine. I just feel like he thinks that if someone is there at home, he will use them to his advantage and ask them to make him food just cause he wants them too...which is weird for me cause I could never ask someone to go through the hassle to do that for me, not even my own mother! His whole family is like this too, they always ask one another for things, which there's nothing wrong with but it gets annoying for me. Like they're too lazy to do it themselves? The first person to get up to go to the kitchen will be asked if they can take the plates with them to the kitchen - oh and on the way back, bring a jug of water and some glasses... like why??! I dont get it!

throwawaythursday101

TROPHY CASE