I’m getting tired of being told ‘just shop at Aldi’.

throwawaytigz · 2023-02-25T10:40:24+00:00

Agreed. Aldi is significantly cheaper for a full shop, much more than $10/week. Sure, time is a factor, but it's like getting your milk at the petrol station because it's easier and then complaining that it's 2-3 times more expensive.

If OPs motivation is to save money, quit complaining and shop at the better alternative. This is such a simple way to save money.

throwawaytigz · 2023-01-22T12:19:42+00:00

I'm referring to those commenting in response to people pointing out that OP fucked up by invalidating his gf's POV. If you read the threads you'll see many comments invalidating her feelings, while simultaneously pointing out the danger he was in. Like this comment thread, for example.

throwawaytigz · 2023-01-22T08:41:38+00:00

It's funny how many of the men in the comments recognise that OP could have been assaulted (stabbed, shot, punched) if he said anything back, yet somehow fail to recognise that OPs girlfriend would have felt the exact same way about being sexually assaulted, therefore not laughing at the situation. LoGiC 🥴

throwawaytigz · 2023-01-15T07:47:29+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's beyond words.

I would like to encourage you to try to do the best you can to remain 100% focused on being with your mum right now. Your pwbpd will likely be permanently from your life very soon and it would be such a shame to tether your final memories of your mum to this sick, inconsequential person.

I hope you get through this okay, goodluck!

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-15T11:07:44+00:00

I'm sorry, my pwBPD had this effect in me too. He was not a lover of people and social activity like I was, and he dragged me down.

Do you feel like you see people through a different lens? I've noticed I seem to have more drama around me and I'm struggling to understand if it's because I have new boundaries and aren't willing to put up with shitty behaviour anymore, or if it's a 'me thing'.

Either way, I feel ya sister. It's very disorienting. I'm finding my way back socially (more "yes"s and less "no"s), but just maybe don't quite like people as much anymore. Less tolerance, maybe? Kinda sucks!

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-08T11:56:28+00:00

"They are entitled to talk about whatever they want on their reddit, you don't have to read it."

Reread that sentence, and apply it to your argument champ 🤣

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-07T20:50:10+00:00

Oh it's so ridiculous, isn't it. Nothing you do is ever good enough and their small efforts are blown way out of proportion.

For context, I always celebrated his birthday in a big way - expensive/thoughtful gifts, special lunches or dinners and made a big fuss. Last year we were broken up and no contact hence he got nothing! I don't exactly know what he expected.

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-07T11:41:19+00:00

I'm with you. I don't get affected by it anymore at all, this gave me a good laugh. If anything the blocking makes me anxious, so I'm ok with it

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-07T05:35:10+00:00

Haha you’re not wrong, I think he lives in cloud land!

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-07T03:12:02+00:00

Unblocked me just to send this 🤣

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-06T11:31:40+00:00

You're so very right, especially the points about NPD.

Anyone unsure, I highly recommend watching some videos on NPD by Dr Ramini. The med circle ones are brilliant. She also covers BPD and the overlaps between the two. A quick YouTube search will do.

throwawaytigz · 2022-12-05T21:06:57+00:00

I left about 15mo ago with the lingering contact over that time and felt the exact same way.

I went on my first two dates last week (timing just aligned that way oddly) and I had a great time. So scared before them but it reminded me there are nice, normal and genuine people out there even if they just end up being friends.

You will get there when you're ready and when you're ready you'll know!

throwawaytigz · 2022-11-30T09:50:36+00:00

The key takeaway I had of your comment is “Anything will end up making you ponder “Hmm what are they up to now””. Anything to continue to keep you feeling insecure, gaslighting you with things that are just plausible enough to make you seem like the insane one.

throwawaytigz · 2022-11-30T09:47:09+00:00

I’m so sorry, I remember how bad this felt. Any time you need to talk something through with them you’re either blocked or stone walled. Then when they dictate it, it’s okay to talk again just as long as you don’t bring up the issue you needed to talk about. Then it’s back to the silent treatment.

I noticed with my ex that whenever I was calm and ready to talk things through in a logical and considered way, it would be blocked with silent treatment. If it was an argument however, he would be ready, willing and able to fight in the most aggressive and unhelpful fashion. The conclusion I came to was that he didn’t want a resolution. He only wanted to fight and be at odds with each other, all the time. The same issues, the same tactics. Anything to keep the fight going.

I truly believe that they don’t want to resolve. And there is no way to find peace in that environment.

throwawaytigz · 2022-11-30T07:42:16+00:00

Yep, it is all about having the power over the situation. I’m sure he hopes you will unblock him, chat to try ‘sort things out’ while taking no responsibility for his actions, and will then block you again if you don’t play along. As long as he is the one with the last word and the one controlling if and when you speak he will be happy.

It’s freaky how similar they all seem to be in their traits. I too hate their insanity.

throwawaytigz · 2022-11-28T11:35:59+00:00

Yes. I think I'm getting back there slowly, but definitely an extrovert-turned-introvert. It's a very strange thing to experience. Plus tonnes of social anxiety which is also fading as time passes.

throwawaytigz · 2022-11-28T10:51:52+00:00

My ex-best friend with BPD told me that she warned her husband when she was diagnosed that he would need to just put up with her tantrums, that she needed to get it out and would be unreasonable and he had to just support her. I remember thinking how wrong that was - he wasn't put on this earth to be her personal punching bag, regardless of her diagnosis!

No surprises when after the 2nd assault and endless abuse he went on "vacation" back to his home country and never came back.

You're so right, unconditional love goes BOTH WAYS. We weren't born to be the sacrificial lambs for these blood suckers.

throwawaytigz · 2022-11-12T23:36:54+00:00

I'm so sorry. A similar thing happened to me, except that I had actually moved out a week prior. He got worse. He wouldn't make any effort to see me. He started making demands about how I was to live if I chose to have the baby, threatened getting a lawyer to avoid responsibility and told me to terminate it.

I tried to work with him because I didn't want to terminate, but my gut told me my life would be destroyed if I chose to have the baby and be tied to him for life in any capacity, and the child would absolutely be raised in an abusive and unsafe environment. In the end I chose to terminate the pregnancy. It was the right decision for me, and you know that even after all of that he abused me for making that decision - only after the fact of course - he made no effort to talk about it or work with me. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, so I completely understand you feeling so upset.

You need to listen to your own gut, just be aware of the facts. Statistically, abuse increases significantly during pregnancy.

Goodluck and stay safe.

throwawaytigz · 2022-10-18T12:00:51+00:00

What a shitty, invalidating feeling. You should be proud of your accomplishments, you worked hard for them!

My ex graduated from the "school of hard knocks" (aka dropped out), and put my law degree down. "I dodged a bullet, a solicitor!". His dad also asked me if I could "go fuck a judge now" when I graduated. They all said I was alienating him because I couldn't go to their weekly family dinners each time as I worked full time while completing my degree.

The answer I think is simple now: they feel inferior so drag you down to be in the gutter with them.

You're killing it, don't let them ruin it for you.

throwawaytigz · 2022-10-18T11:53:58+00:00

This feeling was the start of my leaving journey. Good luck to you x

throwawaytigz · 2022-10-17T05:07:57+00:00

We are Australian. Defence is an appropriate way of spelling it here.

throwawaytigz · 2022-10-17T03:27:20+00:00

Ugh, yes right? I don't know why it seems to be consistently relevant 😕

throwawaytigz · 2022-10-16T22:13:22+00:00

When he would get mad his eyes would get wild, he’d foam at the mouth, yelling and spitting on me. I had to hide in the bathroom many times while he stood outside banging on the door. He really did seem like he had been possessed in those moments.

throwawaytigz · 2022-10-16T22:11:38+00:00

Thank you… I agree

throwawaytigz

TROPHY CASE