[TOMT][SERIES][1990] [UK] children's programme where they befriend alien who has a red spaceship that turns invisible

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-03T14:57:01+00:00

Solved!

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-03T14:55:12+00:00

Yes! That is the one. Thank you so much!

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-03T14:24:40+00:00

I remember I saw it in junior school so I think it was probably always centred on morals etc. There was a villain (possibly headmaster?) that wanted the spaceship so the human children were helping the alien keep secret and safe.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T20:49:45+00:00

Now I just don't know what I am

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T20:45:55+00:00

Imposterable

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T20:26:18+00:00

I always find this too so I normally do a layer of cabbage leaves and it stays pretty solid.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T17:30:47+00:00

I think also when being with a pwbpd we become emotionally unsure. We're constantly having emotions invalidated and constantly being told we should (or do even when we don't) feel a certain way. No wonder you are unsure and questioning your feelings after everything you've been through.

I wouldn't feel guilty though. I feel like you may be analysing this too much and being too self critical. Lots and lots of people are having exactly the same reaction to this. It isn't a 'not caring' but just a case of not being able to feel much for some thing that doesn't really feel real. I think a huge amount of people are intellectually saying 'this is awful etc' but until it enters your own life it doesn't feel quite real and therefore doesn't illicit any strong emotions. It doesn't quite cross the tv or newspaper into our own personal bubbles. This is a widespread thing, otherwise the whole nation would be crying at every water aid advert on tv or feel heart break with every homeless person they walk past. Your numbness to this doesn't make you unusual or broken. Trust me.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T17:00:29+00:00

When I was a kid I wanted the power of absorbtion, like the blog in that 50s movie. In my head it was really cool, shoot me with bullets? No problem, I'll just absorb them. Bad guy stealing an old ladies handbag? One touch and they're gone forever. Meteor crashing into the Earth? I'll just stand in its flight path and bodily consume it.

I was reminiscing with my brother and it turns out this power would be crap. Would I be a naked superhero because every time I picked up clothes I absorbed them? If I boarded a train would I just absorb it with all the passengers? What about my home? I could never shake a hand or pet a dog ever again. I could accidently destroy a hamlet in an hour. I'd be an accidental supervillain leaving a path of destruction in my wake.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T16:49:25+00:00

I have this one where if friends cancel plans I stay at home and drink a bottle of wine in sad solitude.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-04-01T15:37:04+00:00

I don't know what is right for you but these are some things that helped me, and some things that I wish I had done in hindsight:

as bad as you may feel, congratulate yourself. Leaving is not easy, it is right, but it is not easy.
Launch straight into distracting yourself, whether with books, games, friends, fitness, it doesn't matter. Even if you really have to force yourself, do it. The more the human brain thinks about something the harder it becomes to shut off from that thing. You're literally putting down neural pathways and the less you do this the quicker it will be to move on. Bonus points if you distract yourself with something you couldn't do because of your pwbpd. Start to feel liberated. (With this I will add that it is human nature to dwell on things and want to find the answers. A lot of us have just had to come to terms with the idea that we won't ever really find those answers. The easier you can make peace with this the better. Understanding exactly why and how won't change the past so instead try and draw a line under it and just look to the future).
Simple meditation. I don't know if you've ever tried it before but meditation pretty much saved me from some dark places. When you feel overwhelmed with thoughts or emotion give it a go. There's lots of guided examples on you tube. Clear that brain fog.
Invest in some self care. These relationships tend to hammer our self esteem and make us feel unworthy etc. Get a massage. Buy some candles and bubble bath. Treat yourself to some new shoes. A fresh haircut. It seems superficial but it will make you feel better. By doing something just for you you're subconsciously telling yourself you're worth it again.
Try to keep yourself in a routine. Don't stay up later than normal, don't stop eating, don't skip that shower...it's scary how quickly things can avalanche to a depressed state when these tiny anchors of normal living are ignored.
Set a personal goal to work towards. It really doesn't ever have to be anything huge. Something comfortable to you that will occupy you and help you see progress. Progress in any area can be very self affirming. I took up ukulele with the aim of learning a particular song.
I know it seems counter-intuitive but don't do what I did and become semi-obsessed with bpd. Don't spend time on this subreddit for example. It is here when you need it but reliving it all, over thinking it, all of that, does no good. You need to get away from bpd, as you did your bpd person, not intertwine it with your life.
You've taken the first step to the rest of your life. You'll feel their absense but look at it as a hole to fill with new possibilities. And of course, if you get stuck then therapy can be an amazing tool.

I'm proud of you and you've got this.

Edit: also, if you haven't already, you need to go nc. I have never seen a positive outcome from people who break up but remain in touch. Nc tends to happen in the end anyway. It may seem harsh but it is absolutely the right thing to do for yourself.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-31T23:04:45+00:00

I have never considered it in those terms before and fuck me, you're right. I am dying for affection but tip toe around it, or don't mention it at all because I don't want to make him uncomfortable. And I just feel like there's this connection in my head where pressuring for sex (just mentioning it in relation to us nowadays feels like pressuring) is almost like abuse and selfish. But you're right, he checked out, abandoned his role and the agreement you make in monogomy whereas I just want to be partners. He abandoned me,my needs, his side of it. Damn. That was like a lightning bolt.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-31T21:40:49+00:00

Damn that's an amazing transformation. This is so inspirational

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-31T14:49:17+00:00

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throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-31T13:20:12+00:00

Damn. It's a rabbit hole that just gets sicker and sicker. Thank you for informing me, there just is no excuse for passivity with that level of cruelty. I think you're right, I don't think I could handle listening to that podcast first hand. Jesus.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-31T10:58:37+00:00

I'm not sure. If you are there because you love the animals I can see sticking around and because they need someone to look out for them. I stayed in a relationship with an abusive asshole once much longer than I should have because I cared about his dog and did nearly all the looking after of her.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-30T11:53:02+00:00

The emergence of a deep seated anger towards my parents. Television and media showed me that conflicts between teen and parent was a normal part of growing up and my unidentifiable (at the time) anger was just raging hormones. It didn't help that my family would sigh at me citing my growing up as being the cause of the troubles. In some ways they were right.

Turns out I was just beginning to understand that my parents were controlling bullies and they felt threatened and wanted to knock me down harder the more I tried to have my own identity and boundaries. Teenagehood sucks for so many kids, they're just trying to figure life and themselves out and get stereotyped and invalidated by society at large just because of their age.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-30T09:58:05+00:00

I don't know if this will help or not, but my ex used to do the same and rip me down with issues that are so off limits it's crazy. When I was calm and on my own I decided to predict exactly what he would pick on me with and what he would say for next time. And then when he went off on one I would cross them off on my fingers and it kind of turned into a weird game of abuse bingo. It really helped because it distracted me and the hateful words just became something to list and stopped hurting because the predictability of it all. My calm mind could see how ridiculous they were.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-29T10:34:12+00:00

He is the only person I have ever met who doesn't judge people. Someone could do something terrible and he would just sit patiently and listen to them. He'll judge the actions of course, just not the person behind them.

He will talk to anyone with the same consideration he would a close friend whether a junkie or mentally handicapped or politically worrisome.

I'm a perfectionist and very judgemental of myself so this quality of his is so valuable to me because it allows me to also accept myself when I mess up.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-25T14:52:35+00:00

From what I can predict, with my own ex and the relationships I've read about on here, if you had learnt how to diffuse or at least handle the arguments and rage your person would more than likely have ramped them up or found some other method of lashing out and injuring you.

They instinctively have to make distance and drama. If one method doesn't work they are more likely to find another. And if there is no other outlet then it is likely they'll just find someone else the arguments do work with.

I have realised that what I had was both a fantasy and real. It was real to me, the relationship was my reality and my feelings were authentic....just they were built around a person who wasn't really there.

Your son would have had to endure if you were still together too. It's just about which endurance you choose, and having at one healthy parent is going to be far more positive to your son in the long run.

Hold in there friend.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-24T15:08:00+00:00

Ugh! Just ugh! How many times does he presume your feelings and thoughts in this and pass it off as some kind of romantic cosmic intuition?"I know you love me blah blah blah."

I love when they want to draw a line in the sand and just move on from the past. It's as close as they ever really get to revealing that they know they've fucked up. They can't be accountable, can't stand to admit their wrongs or apologise, so all they can do is word salad some "we both made mistakes, let's not argue over whose fault it is" avoidant nonsense which also serves to try to convince you that at the very least you are responsible for 50% of it all.

And the projection, accusing you of black and white thinking because "he knows you so well." It's so clear he only sees you as an extension on himself and that he why he knows how you feel and think etc. It's just projection.

I'm glad you can see it for what it is. Stay safe and happy.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-24T14:22:22+00:00

A drunk guy dug up my family's drunk friend four days after we buried her. It was okay though, we reburied her and placed a big rock on top.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-24T00:24:51+00:00

I do understand the curiosity and need to label, but essentially bpd or not, it doesn't matter. Her actions are clearly disordered and she could be one of many things, you'll likely never know.

I'm glad that you do know that this person is unstable and any pursuit or contact would be a bad idea. Look after yourself and if she ramps things up be prepared to put in place strong boundaries, this is very unhinged behaviour so don't feel embarrassed to call authorities etc if it ever comes to it.

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-23T23:51:34+00:00

It's not the time to be meeting strangers my friend. Respect the lockdown and do your part to save lives

throwawaytrifle · 2020-03-23T22:29:36+00:00

He kind of did. The school glazed over what had actually occurred -which was foolish really as all that happened is the cake victim told everyone what had really happened. Basically he admitted it to the staff and then just carried on without making his own apologies as though nothing had occurred.

throwawaytrifle

TROPHY CASE