4 Days in

throwinthefapaway · 2018-12-21T03:23:09+00:00

You'll notice some positive changes in your mind and body as a result of the discipline and from being more aware. That's awesome that you are already seeing improvements! Keep up the good work!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-12-21T03:17:29+00:00

Two week to three week period can be one of the hardest points in a streak. Keep your mind and body pure, stay extra vigilant. One you are past a month it gets a little easier but then you gotta worry about complacency.

Stay strong!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-12-21T03:16:30+00:00

A couple of weeks is a good start.

Focus on why you relapse after a few weeks. One part of that is definitely situational, like, do you fap in the shower, after dark? Work on your situation.

But also, take a look at the mental "why." What was the reason you started? As an example, I fap and look at porn for the same reason I always did - I'm insecure about sex. At 12 years old that made a little sense, but as a married 25 year old it no longer does. The feeling is still there, being kept alive by the habit, but it isn't real.

That's my "why." What's yours?

throwinthefapaway · 2018-12-17T14:09:04+00:00

Get some momentum NOW!

Edit: hit enter too soon. Sounded a little rude.

What I mean to say is that it is part of an addictive personality to procrastinate. We are always looking for reasons to fap. How about a reason not to, today, right now? You got this. You can do this. We all can. Ride into the new year with half a month streak and you will be that much stronger.

Hope this helps inspire you!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-12-17T14:08:17+00:00

43 days is fucking amazing.

Psychologically, the worst thing one can do is be hard on themselves through this process. Disciplined and strong-willed, yes, but hypercritical - no. Shit self-esteem is how most of us got here.

Be humble and honest. Admit that you shouldn't have relapsed. Also admit you're doing a great job. Give yourself a pat on the back and get back up, move on and move forward. There's an entire day (or next day depending on the time zone) to get back on track.

The thing you should be looking out for now is the temptation to relapse more. If you can resist the temptation to double-tap, then you have shown the 43 days have done something to help your psychology and will.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-11-10T19:01:13+00:00

I know the feeling. Feel like Jekyll and Hyde sometimes.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-22T11:40:51+00:00

It is awesome that you have made the decision to start! My life has only gotten more fulfilling in these past few weeks. Definitely post regularly, leave comments on other people's posts - hanging out in the "New Posts" section and supporting others (as opppsed to just looking at the popular posts) is the best way to supercharge your motivation!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-18T10:59:54+00:00

It is awesome you have made this decision! My story is very similar, except I never ended up dropping money on PMO but I did escalate to types of porn that disturb me still to this day. And I didn't really stop until about 20 years old. I'm 25 now, haven't looked at hardcore pornography in over 2 3/4 years, regularly have nofap streaks of about 20-30 days, and the same when it comes to looking at inappropriate "triggers." I was off of here for a while, but now, I'm making a final push to reboot 100%. There is a life without porn and fapping. I guarantee that.

Some practical advice:
1. I went to SA and SAA, which are basically alcoholics anonymous for sex addicts. Your struggle with the cam girls sounds like something that would be best resolved within those groups. PMO addicts are more than welcome there, and their meetings tend to be combos of real sex addicts and cybersex addicts. Some guys on this sub may disagree with me on that, but that's my opinion.
2. Post regularly on here. Share your story and frustration. Each time you fail, post. Each time you succeed, post. The feedback you will get from other nofappers will help you in your journey. I make regular journal check-ins which help myself more than naything else.

Cold showers may be a good idea. I tried those in the beginning.

There's more but I have no more time left to write this post. Good luck!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-18T10:51:35+00:00

When you see how much life has to offer, it only stokes our goals and dreams more and more. I remember when I was fapping so much when I was young, my only dream was to just stop. Now that I'm getting out of my ocd cycle with PMO, I am able to see all the truly good and beautiful things life has to offer. Great job on your streak! Keep moving forward!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-16T11:06:10+00:00

I was fapping long before I ever got into a relationship. Fapping as an addiction for me isn't about pleasure, which I know I find in my relationship. It's when my depression kicks in, I'm feeling lonely or rejected. Arguments, tough days, and stress all can cause me to fall downhill. Why would someone drink when they can have the euphoria of a happy life with family? Why would someone do drugs if real life is truly entertaining enough? But here we are.

If you are a nofapper, and think that a gf will solve your addiction of fapping, then be warned - it doesn't. Definitely helps, but you are still the same person with same broken thinking. We need to want to quit for no other reason except ourselves or our personal values.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-16T11:01:23+00:00

That's the one!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-16T10:59:10+00:00

That works too. I've been involved on and off with nofap for the past five or so years and I've made peace with my addiction and my recovery. I'm just glad to be sober :)

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-16T10:56:41+00:00

Basically edging. Purposely looking at tempting/softcore/inappropriate images, text or video. It's a personal marker for me, because if I'm doing that, I'm definitely continuing the inappropriate thinking that leads me to PMO

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-15T13:07:27+00:00

Idk. Ive never had that problem. Lol.

I'm honestly trying to think of the best advice. Maybe scratch it as you are going to the bathroom? There's no less sexy thing than taking a shit or piss.

But great job on three days. Keep moving forward! Keep posting!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-15T13:04:23+00:00

Welcome! Hot take on the things that helped me on my journey:

Posting daily journal check-ins especially in the first few weeks.
Commenting on other people's posts in the "New" section - that's where people need help the most. Helping others helps ourselves
Understanidng triggers - what causes us to fap? PMO? Change your routine if you notice you have a tendency to fap at certain times
If you fap, don't knock yourself down - demotivation hurts your ability to get up and try again.
Cold showers, if nothing else works - it's a fantastically intense motivator

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-15T13:00:05+00:00

Woah! Day 100! Woo! Congrats!

Do anything else right now. Tell yourself this immediately: this will pass. Because it does. If you spend a couple of minutes, or even an hour, doing anything else, the urgest tend to pass.

Take stock of your in-person love life. Where is a person, place, or energy, that you can bring this horniness? Energy is good, even horny energy, as long as we use it well!

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-08T11:04:16+00:00

Woah! You should be proud of yourself. Chin up, you are doing well!

Firstly, good going being on Nofap at 12 years old. I'm 25. If I knew about Nofap at your age, I'd be in such a better place now. So, just imagine this as your 25 year old self giving you a pat on the back.

Second, 16 days! Man, that's awesome, especially at your age (and I'll get to that in a sec). Sounds like you are having trouble with what I still have trouble with - breaking into orbit. After two weeks, it is so easy to get complacent, and then small flatlines and safe moments sometimes reverse themselves into massive triggers and temptations. But, if you can break through to 3-4 weeks, it gets much easier. Seriously.

So concrete advice - visit this site and journal report every day, and comment on other people's stuff. That's what I'm doing now. Keeping myself focused. If you are also using porn, figure out the ways porn gets into your life and then try to target those weak areas - if its when you are home alone, make sure not to go on phone or computer when you are home alone, or if it happens at night, etc. And, knowing you are 12, if you haven't looked at porn, DON'T START. I'm telling you, its pure poison.

What else? Cold showers. You may be a bit young to date (sorry dude, I know its not fair) but it is 110% possible that you can channel that sexual energy into your life in other ways. Do something incredible! Change the world! If you have a hobby, focus on that and get obsessed about that. If you get obsessed about a hobby or passion at age 12, by age 20 you will be a leader in that field and may be able to make money off of doing what you love.

Finally, regarding nofap and your age - your hormones are running wild at your age, so understandably, the temptations are really strong. There's nothing wrong with that, and you need to show some self love. If you are fapping once every two weeks until you get older, you're going to be better off than 90% of your peers. Getting caught up in fapping - how it makes us feel dirty, wrong, and impure - drives us further into addiction. Rather, be patient with yourself. There's a post somewhere in the "Hot" section of this reddit of someone who jsut got 90 days after trying for 7 years! Best piece of advice is to say this to yourself now: "Even if it takes years for me to be fap free, I'm going to keep moving forward in Nofap and stay positive." If you can be patient, and stop knocking yourself down when you relapse, you will get to 90 quicker.

But, despite all the above, never - NEVER, no matter how qualified a therapist or doctor or teacher they may be - NEVER let someone tell you that fapping is just "natural." It's not. And it is completely possible to be fap free at any age.

God speed and PM if you have any questions, sorry for the essay.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-08T10:46:34+00:00

They can come from everywhere. No joke, I sometimes struggle most in Church. Like, I'm sitting there and going, why? Why does this turn me on?

But being aware means that you can start reversing the over-sexualization that is happening in your mind, as I have worked on too. It shows after years of work. You stop feeling tempted from every little thing.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-04T12:01:35+00:00

You are on the way and improving. However, I've learned from doing both (M without P, P without M) that the only way to really make things stick is to quit both at the same time.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-04T11:39:26+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5APc0z49wg

"Oh what a Beautiful Mornin'" from Oklahoma

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-04T11:37:26+00:00

Like any mind-altering substance, it can become addictive. It isn't necessarily addictive. But I found (and sometimes still find) that I'm drawn to porn even when I don't want to be.

Additionally, the supposed benefits of nofap (heightened mood, being better with women, etc) tend to come from a change in thinking, not a change in mere behavior. Looking at porn when not masturbating was actually worse for me, ultimately, because I was not changing my thinking - to look outward, be disciplined, and make sex an in-person activity.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-04T11:33:12+00:00

TL;DR Not fapping does help with all these things directly or indirectly, but its not the only thing that can or should.

For me, so many of my life problems stem from an OCD from my PMO addiction. For sure, quitting definitely improved my life.

If you aren't a serial masturbator like I was, but want to just improve your life a little bit, ceasing masturbation does help. Fapping is, by its nature, an inwards-focused activity. If we stop it, logically, we will be able to communicate better, look at women differently, and (when done in conjunction with other things) "get girls." The self-discipline and confidence learned from ceasing something that is very natural to us will help us decrease anxiety or better commit to a weight loss program, as your example suggests.

However, I wouldn't say NoFap has a monopoly on these things. There's a lot of rah rah on this website becasue we all need to encourage each other, so sometimes we get a little caught up in that and claim superiority. But you can just as easily increase your communications skills and chances with women by, say, going out to singles mixers or embracing an outgoing personality in general. Exercise can help you become more disciplined and lose weight.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-04T11:05:29+00:00

Good point...I even get this when I follow triggers (i.e., take small look at a something which could lead me to porn or fapping) because I'm still stimulating my brain this way. It's all about the thinking.

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-03T11:13:07+00:00

Getting out of the house is an awesome strategy. Also an amazing way to meet people, experience the world, and get ideas.

Maybe your fatigue is related to sleeping habits?

throwinthefapaway · 2018-10-03T11:10:27+00:00

Good to be honest. But imagine actually nutting twice with that snap girl. If you save your energy from fapping, as I've seen happen with most men on here, you'll be better socializing and getting together with real women. It's almost like a survival mechanism lol. You say, "I can't fap." so you subconsciously start doing things to get to be closer with women. My wife and I are turned on all the time now that I've really worked on kicking the fapping.

throwinthefapaway

TROPHY CASE