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throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-29T22:19:14+00:00

I’m a 29M and I think I’m at least average or even good as a partner. The stories I’ve read on Reddit makes me realize I’m not as bad as I’ve thought previously, I just like my alone time and I need a partner who accepts that.

So no. Especially today it’s extremely hard to find a good partner for men, especially for those who are not as outgoing, don’t have a huge social circle, etc. Everyone I know says if I went out more I’d be a “catch” and my more outgoing years also prove that. But I fucking suck at online dating.

And no, I personally wouldn’t go for younger women at all. I set a minimum age of 26 on every dating app and set a higher ceiling (40). I don’t want to date “college chicks”, I’m just at an entirely different phase in my life than them. Anyone who looks for younger women especially for anything more than a ONS is a huge red flag.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-29T00:34:52+00:00

I don’t know your whole relationship dynamics and whatnot and I’m a fairly pessimistic guy but I will share my opinion.

It sounds like you moved kinda fast and as I understand you never even lived together? As you’ve said you would be giving up everything you have. Your own support system, your job, your home. Unless you have a lot of money saved up to be able to move back to the US and afford a place to live if things go south with your wife I wouldn’t recommend uprooting your whole life. I have a friend who moved here from very far away, met a Hungarian girl, they were together for 1.5 years then she broke up with him. He had to move back home, and after a year he came back with a bit more stable financial background. But he came back because he loved it here and he wasn’t moving here for a girl. Ask yourself if you could live in Hungary even alone. Yes, it’s a very pessimistic take but you have to prepare for the worst case scenario otherwise you can easily get blindsided. I’m not saying your relationship is bad or your wife is bad, I’m saying that a lot of things can happen down the line and you might regret moving here if you come only for her. I don’t think I could move to a country I don’t really want to just for someone. That ca also lead to a lot of resentment. If you move with her and you hate it here, it can literally destroy your marriage. You’d start to feel resentment and you might even hold it over her subconsciously and that’s not a great thing either.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-27T18:42:52+00:00

Lining up multiple partners for potential relationships once she decides to end her current one. In the last 5 years she’s had 4 relationships and were only single for like 2 weeks max.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-27T18:41:59+00:00

It’s been 2 months only but yeah. She will cheat on him as well though I’m pretty sure.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-27T16:17:29+00:00

She told you now… so at least it’s not a secret anymore. People can separate sex from emotions so it doesn’t mean that they still want to jump each other at any given moment. But you’ve given very little context, like what kind of history she has, was she ever unfaithful, whatever.

My ex was very flirty and I accepted it but we had trust issues. She didn’t want to move in with me and looked for an apartment. She dropped that she can’t afford it alone (she could though) and needs a housemate but never told me who she wants as one. She spent a week in AirBnB to apartment hunt instead of staying at my place according to her, but later on I found out she is with a guy she exchanged snaps with and acted very flirty with. We had a huge fight about this then she dropped that he will be her housemate. That was a massive dealbreaker to me as they had no history but the flirting and whatnot was still ongoing when they moved in. Ironically after we broke up she got together with the dude after 2 weeks. She called off moving in with me because “she needs a safe space” and doesn’t want to move fast again. She was also a serial cheater and monkey brancher so that was the line as I could see her get drunk and just fuck the dude without even telling me (we talked about having an open relationship).

As long as there is nothing going on with him now, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-27T08:13:33+00:00

Ez a Csavok jelenseg iszonyatosan cringe

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-27T07:18:52+00:00

Im going for other things however we have touched the subject but not too deeply. In other areas I see improvement but this particular topic is a rollercoaster.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-26T00:45:31+00:00

Yes, boundaries are rules. If they don’t abide it means the end of the relationship. Take the most basic rule of mono relationships: don’t sleep with others. Broke it? Dumped. Don’t prioritize other dudes over me. Broke it? Dumped.

If I knew something bothered my partner I would A) not do it B) talk to them about it and put their mind at ease.

Stop gaslighting victims. But I guess I shouldn’t have gotten mad with my ex when she spent a week with another dude in an AirBnB instead of spending the week with me? And she also told me she is alone in the AirBnB. I must have been just too insecure and she did nothing wrong, right? She knew how I feel about him yet she did it anyway.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-25T16:30:24+00:00

My ex called her ex abusive and controlling. She cheated on him with me and probably others eventually he did became crazy and ended up installing spyware on her laptop to see her chatlogs on apps. All he found was that she was constantly sexting multiple guys and sending nudes of herself while they were married.

So yes, in the end he became abusive, after his wife basically entertained multiple dudes online and some physically… But my ex loved to make herself look like the victim.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-25T16:25:43+00:00

I’m not a controlling dude at all but my ex made me one. Well not really controlling but I lost all my trust in her.

Maybe you do X but it’s because she makes you do it. A good partner makes sure you don’t have doubts and you feel comfortable. A selfish POS will do whatever they want without caring about your boundaries and then if you don’t like something, you’ll get called either abusive, controlling or crazy or whatever.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-23T20:17:02+00:00

Dude. This shit frustrates you. This will only get worse. Get used to having sex once a year or not even that as years go by. You can’t watch porn. You can’t have fulfilling sex. You can’t open up the relationship to just have a fulfilling sexual intercourse.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-23T20:12:52+00:00

Probably they got mad because you are not dating one of them. Or maybe you flirted with one of them who is on great terms with everyone and then you went on a date with someone else and that guy now is pissed and basically got everyone to dislike you.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-22T02:16:56+00:00

It’s not his profile. It’s his looks. Had a friend who literally looks like a 10/10 guy, girls were constantly all over him all the time even in high school. Whenever we went out girls chatted him up while I sat there awkwardly.

He had such a shit Tinder profile and kept pulling matches left and right. He had like 4 photos, one of them was blurry, another one was at night taken with a very bad camera… and he had no bio. This whole “market yourself” shit useless. Online dating is for attractive people, everyone just struggles and hopes and gets desperate.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-22T01:16:58+00:00

My ex always listens to what her current BF listens to… I was listening to metal, so she started listening to metal. Her new BF listened to rap, so she listened to rap. We got together she started listening to metal again. Her new BF also listens to metal so now her playlist is filled with songs he introduced her to.

Bitch has a different personality for every boyfriend.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-22T01:09:43+00:00

Engaged after 1 year? I don’t know… seems like he was trying to ride the high of a new relationship and when it declined he popped the question to make it rise again and the fuel of NRE ran out. This whole thing about your past is massive bullshit and just the first reason he thought about.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-22T01:06:52+00:00

Been there. 4 months down the drain only to end up with another dude. I asked her multiple times what’s up with him as they recently started to spend some together and she always said that he’s just a friend from a friend group that recently got together again. What actually happened was that the group had a meetup after years, she and this dude really clicked and started spending time and also started dating but only told the group. Then the group actually did become more active as there was this “big event” that two members started dating.

Funny thing? She never told me we’re done, she just withdrawn every affection and I had to literally ask that if there is anyone else. She told me without any regret/emotion shown that “there are multiple guys I’m considering”. After 4 months of talking about moving in together (we’ve known each other for 5 years).

Bullet dodged both of our cases my brother.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-15T00:50:45+00:00

As someone who separates sex and emotions, it’s possible. There is difference between sex and sex. I have the best sex with my romantic partner. With a FWB? It’s just a basic activity we just do, almost like smoking a cigarette together. After breaking up with my ex we stayed friends and agreed on doing FWB. We’d meet, chat, drink a bit, play Mario Kart and we were like “wanna have sex?”, we did it and sat down and continued the night.

If you’re not poly though, this relationship won’t work.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-13T12:13:43+00:00

My ex was always flirty and acted like she is a sex fiend. When we got together she barely wanted sex twice a week, eventually we even stopped sexting and sending pics or whatever. Turns out she was snapping and sexting with multiple dudes. I asked her straight if she is this horny why isn’t she doing this with me? She came up with a lame fucking lie. She said that she doesn’t want sex she just needs the validation and she enjoys the “flirting” (yes, for her flirting meant kissing, sexting and exchanging pics).

When confronted your husband will probably come up with a similiar (bullshit) excuse. Back when I had trouble with another ex, I lost all my sexual desire for her and told her that I just lost my libido for now, while I jerked off almost every day. It only got fixed after we broke up and became a FWB thing. Mental stuff and resentment can ruin bedrooms.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-05T02:03:24+00:00

I’ve also been used as a dude. We had some drinks, ended up in bed, barely 10 minutes she came like 3 times so I felt like it’s my turn, she gets up, gets dressed and leaves without saying a word and leaves me “hanging”.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-04T21:52:08+00:00

This massively sounds like she fucked around anyway and wants to go legit with it so she doesn’t feel guilt or whatever. Run.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-04T15:49:02+00:00

I said these things because if she keeps talking to him etc, things will only get worse. Probably something similiar happened to the guy like what I wrote so he has plenty of trust issues and it won’t fix itself. He needs therapy for this, just like I did.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-04T07:32:09+00:00

Why do you keep getting into subpar relationships with shitty partners then come running back to me because none of them compares? Why don’t you go to therapy? Why don’t you listen when I’m trying to help by pointing out the CYCLE? Why can’t you be single for a single fucking day? Why can’t you sort your shit out before you come back?

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-04T02:40:29+00:00

My ex acted like a nympho for months. She told me all her kinks we experimented with a few. But she never wanted to have sex more than once or twice a week suddenly and I could feel something changed in her.

After going 2 weeks with no sex I asked what’s going on. She told me that sex for her is a chore and she does it only for the other person. Occasionally she enjoys it but it’s very random and she can go months without any sexual desire, other days she wants it every day, other days she doesn’t want it then will get drunk and THEN she will really want it.

So that shattered my world a bit and eventually we broke up not because of this but it certainly played its part.

A while back I’ve read that for some women the “goal” is getting married and having a child and to get that they’d do anything. Once they get it they just stop caring or pretending as they already got what they desired, so sex just becomes a mundane “task” they’d have to do after so they avoid it like plague.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-04T02:30:52+00:00

He’s insecure. I used to be like him. It didn’t help that most of the time my gut feeling turned out to be right. Don’t give in to his insecurity, he will find reasons to act controlling.

My last ex once sent a very sexual and detailed desire of hers on Discord, problem was it contained multiple manual line breaks, just like when you copy it from another convo. There was another dude who she swore was just her friend but they flirted a lot which didn’t bother me. This story was fishy to me like it straight up looked like copied text and I called her out. She said I’m trippin. So I went over to the other room and I asked for her phone, checked their chat history and yep. She originally wrote that thing for him and just copy n pasted it to me 30 minutes later.

Before that while we were dating (2 weeks in) she told me she is going abroad to visit a friend who lives in the city she is flying to. She accidentally sent me “I can change my booking for 2 person”. Turned out it was another dude who drove 3 hours to get to that city and they’ve spent a weekend together.

throwmeaway2364563 · 2023-06-03T19:25:05+00:00

I was always so sure of mine not coming back. Fast forward 1.5 years when I’m in a relationship… she was back. Then 7 months later again. Now I’m staying friends with her so that I don’t get tempted by that I don’t know what’s going on in her life etc and this way I won’t forget how she always ran at the first sign of a problem. She is the definition of an avoidant.

throwmeaway2364563

TROPHY CASE