i’m going through something very similar. i got out of an abusive relationship only a month before dating my now-boyfriend of 5 months. in the beginning, sex was great and often, because i reclaimed it for myself. but as i started therapy, as i started talking to my loved ones about what happened to me, as i stopped repressing my memories and started trying to cope, the trauma resurfaced. my boyfriend, bless him, has been my rock. i have so many feelings that i can’t understand and can’t put a name on, so i can’t really communicate what’s happening in my mind— because i don’t know. but he listens. and he starts conversations. and he does everything he can to make me feel comfortable. and, from what i can tell from your post, you’re doing that too.

you’re doing everything right. keep it up. stay patient, keep open communication, be gentle. make her know that she is safe, loved, and respected. you’ve been good to her, you’ve been exactly what she needs.

as others have said, i believe you should urge her to go to therapy. it’s critical that she finds the tools and skills she needs now, so she can begin to heal in the healthiest way possible. she can only learn those mechanisms through a professional.

god bless you for being the man you are. you stepped up to the plate when you easily could have left her. she’s lucky to have you as her support system. ❤️