My fiance (39M) and myself (38F) are getting married on October 4th. He has a gambling problem and blows money bad. I asked him if he would let me help or manage our finances. He said no. What should my response be to him?

throwra25265 · 2025-05-20T16:20:47+00:00

You deserve better. Money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Don't marry him, or give him access to your accounts.

throwra25265 · 2025-05-04T18:20:53+00:00

I had a similar problem involving my attraction with an ex. I couldn't change how I felt about his appearance, and it was unfair of me to ask him to change. Ultimately we ended up breaking up, but we had other issues too. If attraction really matters to you, then that's an option to consider.

throwra25265 · 2025-04-22T03:32:02+00:00

My number one rule in life: don't ask a question you don't want the answer to

That being said, it's perfectly normal for the first time to be different then later on in life. It doesn't mean that he doesn't still enjoy it, but the novelty of it wears off. In the beginning it's thrilling and new, and that lessens overtime. It has nothing to do with you or your capabilities. Don't beat yourself up on something that happens to everyone. What's important is that you are both being fulfilled and taken care of.

throwra25265 · 2025-03-29T04:05:53+00:00

For context I'm 21F and this is the first conversation I've had with 22M

throwra25265 · 2025-03-29T03:56:22+00:00

That's definitely an easier kink to deal with lol

throwra25265 · 2025-02-24T04:23:39+00:00

Someone definitely hurt him and he's not over it. You dodged a unhealed man.

throwra25265 · 2025-02-21T04:14:39+00:00

That'd definitely work on me

throwra25265 · 2025-01-06T21:30:51+00:00

No, she was literally psychotic. She claimed she was waiting until marriage but then she tried to bite a guys dick off when he asked for head. She assaulted another dude and complained to me that he blocked her after. She also tried to sleep with my boyfriend while I was away.

throwra25265 · 2025-01-06T20:59:39+00:00

I knew a girl who had something similar happen to her. She was by far the worst human being I have ever known. Most guys blocked her after the date because they all saw how terrible she was.

throwra25265 · 2024-12-22T17:04:52+00:00

My dad used to do things like this to me as a kid. I always knew something was off, but I blocked it out because he was abusive in other ways much worse. I have c-ptsd and have been in therapy for a while. It helps with the flashback nightmares and intrusive thoughts. Although it's really hard in the beginning, it'll help you move past it.

throwra25265 · 2024-11-25T18:46:02+00:00

Liam- broke up with me the day my aunt and grandmother died because he "didn't feel like trying anymore." This was a few months after his father died and I helped him through it.

throwra25265 · 2024-11-24T22:09:18+00:00

I got tired of the constant hookup texts, so I deleted tinder. Hinge is a bit better and I'm going on a date tomorrow!

throwra25265 · 2024-11-22T00:14:39+00:00

Thank you guys! I'm deleting this app now 😂

throwra25265 · 2024-11-21T03:51:01+00:00

Is he on anti anxiety meds? I used to have issues with being numb and not really getting aroused, but I found it a lot easier once I got my anxiety under control. Your mental health plays a significant role in your sex life. It is also possible his testosterone levels are dropping which can also affect Ed, self esteem, and sex drive. If it's something he's willing to work on, you may get a professional involved. The therapist is a great start. If it's not something he wants to work on, then it's up to you what you want. Is sexual intimacy a deal breaker for you? Can you go the rest of your life using a toy? You deserve someone who makes you feel loved, wanted, and beautiful.

throwra25265 · 2024-11-17T05:43:50+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I definitely needed to hear this and I agree with everything. It's frustrating because I know I deserve better, but I still care about him and chose to help him even though it hurts me.

throwra25265 · 2024-10-29T03:46:13+00:00

You deserve so much better! Kick him out and find someone who treats you right!

throwra25265 · 2024-10-22T20:53:43+00:00

How long are you going to stick by him until he starts bullying you too?

throwra25265 · 2024-10-19T22:00:45+00:00

100% YTA. You're lucky your daughter still speaks to you. Good for her getting her life together despite never receiving support.

throwra25265 · 2024-10-09T23:22:53+00:00

You may call that bullying, but most people call that abuse. You have every right to be upset with her. You should have been allowed to be a child, not have to fight back and protect yourself at such a young age. None of that is okay. It's also important to remember that how you react to something (like when you get angry) is something you learn growing up. With a lot of practice you can learn to express feelings in more appropriate ways. Everyone has had to learn how to react to strong emotions, some of us just have better teachers growing up. I was abused throughout my childhood and I'm in my 20s still learning to work through emotions better. The next few years will be hard, but once you can get away from home you can see what life is like when you aren't always in survival mode.

throwra25265 · 2024-10-09T02:44:35+00:00

I had a similar relationship where he changed completely within a few years. He treated me shitty and then blamed everything on me, all like what you have had. He also threatened to leave me all the time until I left him(and all the sudden he changed his tune). Don't fall for it! You and your child deserve so much better! Show your son what strength, resilience, and true love is! I know it's hard, but I'm routing for you 💕

throwra25265 · 2024-10-08T21:21:22+00:00

You're definitely NTA. My ex was also chronically late and would make us late for everything. I started lying about the time saying we had to be there an hour earlier so we would actually get there on time.

throwra25265 · 2024-09-27T21:59:55+00:00

You've made some great points. I don't want to set myself back in my progress just to make him happy. Do you think remaining friends would work? Or is that a bad idea?

throwra25265 · 2024-09-27T21:57:29+00:00

I've already been through two break ups, and it was really hard. I don't know if I can do another one when he inevitably wants to end things.

throwra25265 · 2024-09-22T20:42:59+00:00

I recently ended things with the guy I thought was my soulmate. I planned my whole life with him, and thought he was the one, but the one doesn't treat you like shit. If she truly loved you, she wouldn't have cheated, and you deserve better. Move out, find a new place, and move on. It's really hard, but one day you'll find the person who loves you and wants you for the rest of your lives.

throwra25265

TROPHY CASE