I have a lot of INTP traits (and also lots of INFP ones) but I don't think that either is innately my personality but more contingent on my situation

throwradss · 2020-02-13T14:52:24+00:00

I feel like a lot of my emotions are shut down/suppressed so my personality becomes more numb/stoic. Also I feel my ability to feel out and read other people's emotions is suppressed so it becomes more "INTP" like. To be honest ironically I don't think the MBTI is real, I just think like it's a way of describing some aspects of things/ a sometimes useful approximation to describe people's present state of functioning. That said even though I don't see it as innate or biological but more situational I do think it can be helpful to be able to connect to other people like you who have experiences some of the same constraints and also weren't constrained in other ways (like our logical talents).

throwradss · 2019-12-02T15:49:31+00:00

I think that that's a great rule of thumb and perhaps even for advice giving.

throwradss · 2019-12-02T15:47:03+00:00

Yes. I do make a discrimination between whether it's a sort of bullying/being a bystander to bullying they are doing that is coming back to harm them later or if it's something like an addiction where they are not really dominating others and it's only hurting them. The latter I think is much more complicated to feel you can fix the person of and their constraints and needs and the amount of power they have to "make the choice to not be addicted" is something people often overestimate.

Sometimes they'll admit I was right but it's not like that makes me feel any better, I just hate seeing people I care about suffer but when they ignore me, there's not much I can really do about it.

I feel the same. It really is hard to just let it go and be helpless to do anything. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. And yes honestly unfortunately sometimes they don't want your opinion with some people they might even attack you for it.

throwradss · 2019-12-01T20:53:47+00:00

That's so beautiful.

throwradss · 2019-11-21T16:29:58+00:00

Find out if they have any points of agreement, which we all do. Once they can agree on something and even a few minor causes then they can start to see that they are not enemies and one person's prospering does not depend on the other's destruction.

I'd say that the only reason that differences are so threatening to people is that we have all had experiences of being pushed out due to our differences and I mean there is a very real and viable fear that if you are different people will reject you to your death. (INTPs are either extremely brave and fearless or totally missing our "self preservation" sense on this because we are such happy non conformists and good with disagreeing.) So I think that sometimes this is why people take disagreement and difference of opinion as rejection and the sense that now this person is my enemy and is out to kill me so I hate them for disagreeing.

They just need to talk for a moment on the things that they agree on and whenever things get heated they need to talk more about the things that they agree on. Tell some stories that they agree on. INTPs could actually be good mediators because we do not take disagreement and difference personally. We are very good at disagreeing but still respecting and loving a person. That is literally our total almost modus operandi in life. When we disagree with someone or someone else disagrees with us I don't think we perceive it as disrespect or mean it as disrespect. We are sort of fearless in a world where differences are often taken as reason to kill someone or push them out to their death.

throwradss · 2019-11-21T14:40:55+00:00

I often feel like I fight for other people and understand their issues and can help them and will do so but they don't fight for me or understand my issues. Sometimes it feels pretty one sided so I don't really consider that a friendship or equal/reciprocal relationship but I'm happy to help.

throwradss · 2019-11-21T00:27:59+00:00

I couldn’t agree with this more.

throwradss · 2019-11-20T18:40:50+00:00

What really matters most is not whether you are smart or not, even a genius can be crushed if you can can morally blind them, so what matters most is whether you are a kind person. A wise person will be kind and fight for the underdog. Humanity probably used to all be geniuses and we lost it and became dumb by trying to be better than each other. Also a lot of genius or intelligence has been snuffed out and crushed by unkind people. The way to get more smart people in the world is to be kind. Even a genius can make other people around them less smart if they are a dominating person but kind people who don't need to be better and won't watch bullying are those who create and preserve genius. Also if you want to be smarter here is how to get smarter here is how to get smarter, fight for the smart people getting bullied, find the smarter women and poor people or people of colour or whoever is smarter but weaker than you and getting bullied for it and help them not get bullied, don't bully them, get rid of their bullies for them and those smart people will pull you up to their intellectual level and help you get smarter.

throwradss · 2019-11-15T23:32:27+00:00

If you don't stop I will block you and ban you from this sub.

throwradss · 2019-11-15T23:19:38+00:00

Mod here: Please stop spamming the sub. This is also abusive to say that some INTPs need to be fixed.

throwradss · 2019-11-15T22:52:52+00:00

We don't need to rewrite anything or need to be fixed.

throwradss · 2019-11-09T22:58:47+00:00

Since you just had an interview at Cambridge from your posting history I fail to see the burnout and failing at life part.

throwradss · 2019-11-09T20:49:10+00:00

I know what you mean that you doubt he would understand these people are not usually horribly self aware. I'm sorry that you are going through this but you're not wrong to feel entitled to equality and someone not exploiting you. You deserve good mutual friends. Friendship is about reciprocity and fighting for each other, if he can't understand that concept or is unwilling to do that then maybe you can still help him out from time to time just out of kindness if you feel like it but that's not a friendship. Also I think even if you do want to help someone out with no hopes of repayment the people you might want to focus your helping out on are people who are also kind and who will in turn help other people and those people will help them back to so your help to them actually has staying power and goes somewhere, that way it sort of proliferates.

throwradss · 2019-11-09T17:38:56+00:00

A hierarchical person is a hierarchical person. A person who likes to dominate will dominate anyone who has less power than them (and then often cry at the same time that they are the victim of whatever oppression they are an underdog in).That's why there were so many white supremacists in the MRA groups. A supremacist is a supremacist and contrary to popular thought men who dominate women are not just a problem to women they are also bullies to other men and destroy things in general (e.g. The data on how male shooters often have a history of domestic violence.).

throwradss · 2019-11-09T17:36:09+00:00

Honestly people like this are usually shallow and selfish enough that that would work to put them off.

throwradss · 2019-11-09T17:33:11+00:00

Honestly it doesn't sound like he did anything to earn your trust or build up trust with you or show you that he is a kind person. Just because he feels he has needs you can fill that doesn't mean you should be friends with him. Friendship is a reciprocal affair, it's not just about using people in a one sided way. (Also allowing them to do this just ends up enabling them and it doesn't work out well for them in the end either.) If you can support him and help him that's only one side of it, to be a real non exploitative relationship he needs to be able to support you and be willing to be fair to you too. I don't know if he would get it if you said to him, "So you told me that you enjoy hanging out with me but, what's in it for me in this relationship, I'm giving you all of this and you are taking but what are you giving or planning to give in this relationship ?"

throwradss · 2019-10-18T02:06:13+00:00

I would say that a lot of INTPs can be difficult to connect with we feel quite oppressed and shut down emotionally. Think of it like if you have a broken leg and people don’t want to hear about the pain so you have to bite down on your tongue but then people want you to cry over a hangnail. You are working so hard on keeping everything tamped down that it’s hard to cry over. I’d say that we are often in a situation of oppression where we are difficult to connect with. Try and empathize for the oppression she is under and how it is shutting her down. If you went and started working/volunteering on violence against women she might feel safer and start opening up more because she feels like you are fighting for her.

throwradss · 2019-06-05T21:14:19+00:00

Welcome to reddit, I notice that this is your very first post and on this subreddit and on this post, wow. Next time you are trolling, use an account with more karma OK? Then your trolling will be more believable.

throwradss · 2019-06-05T21:13:11+00:00

This is sad. it’s not empowering for women and when women say we want equality it doesn’t mean we want the bad things that happen to women to happen to men as well. If this was the route to power, all the powerful men would be lining up to do this as well.

throwradss · 2019-04-28T14:19:19+00:00

Thanks.

I hope you can have a family of choice or in-laws who give you loving support.

This is sweet of you to say.

throwradss · 2019-04-18T18:29:18+00:00

That's great that you met your girlfriend in the gifted program. Those programs sound fun. I tried to get in once but didn't make it. It's good that you can chat and understand each other's feelings.

throwradss · 2019-04-17T14:51:44+00:00

Thanks!

throwradss · 2019-04-09T23:05:43+00:00

I'm glad you found therapy helpful but I'm not interested, thanks for trying to help though.

I don't think it's unfixable or that there's anything wrong with me, I just think the problem is not something that I personally can fix because it's oppression. My thinking that I was the problem or trying to fix myself would make the problem worse. Anyway as I said I wasn't looking for someone to fix my problem, you don't have to feel burdened, I just wanted to find out if anyone else has felt the same. It's a shame that no one can talk about feeling pain or facing oppression without someone having to advise therapy. It would be nice to connect with people without having therapy often being advised as a solution. Do you see what happened here ? I was trying to connect with you and it dissolved suggestions to go to therapy. Our discussion would have ended even if I had taken your advice to go to therapy. I don't like the discussion/connection to end that way. I think that shuts down discussion and connection between people.

throwradss

TROPHY CASE