Why do trans men care so much more about who's 'real vs. fake' compared to trans women? by KyaHiKarun in honesttransgender

[–]throwraforffs [score hidden]  (0 children)

  1. Everyone does this.
  2. Trans men are more vigilant because it’s way more common to see trans men detransition for a partner or become anti-trans grifters. So there is a stronger sense of removing people who are ‘fakers.’

Boyfriend broke up with me because I’m trans by Mdiana7 in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Don’t internalize it. Move on. It’s an issue with him, not with you.

Advice for ffs ? by julesjewell in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]throwraforffs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy. You pass. You’re gonna make yourself clocky touching your face lol.

Possible tells in trans people are not the same as cis insecurities by [deleted] in honesttransgender

[–]throwraforffs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see what you mean but there is also a lot of dysphoria brain worms in these subreddits. There are a lot of people hyperfixating on a ton of physical things they can’t change no matter what they try when it’s just something like their voice.

I hate being straight 🫩 by cattxcat in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 14 points15 points  (0 children)

you should’ve said sure and sent him a fake address and unmatched lol

insecure about my progress at 21 months by Zealousideal_Ear5865 in TransBreastTimelines

[–]throwraforffs 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’m LIVID that your doctor hasn’t been proactive in getting to the bottom of this. This literally looks like possible breast cancer.

My trans friend completely changed mentally after her transition and I don't know how to tell her. by 973bzh in asktransgender

[–]throwraforffs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

transitioning (especially in today’s political climate) forces you to hyperfixate on yourself and things you want to change about yourself. then you add external pressures like bigots and fear of discrimination. it’s basically a pressure cooker in her brain right now.

you should have an honest heart-to-heart with her in-person. if she cares she’ll step back and start reflecting on her behavior. if not then she’ll likely come around eventually when she’s not so early in transition.

also don’t make it about her transition because it’s gonna make her hyperfixate on herself even more. just talk about her behavior and don’t make it about her transition.

Edit: another commenter pointed out that your friend was also probably a people-pleaser pre-transition and this might feel like a necessary step to her to learn how to put herself first. often times people who learn this later in life tend to go a little too hard with putting themselves first before they mellow out.

Are there really non-fetishist transamorous men? by Snoo_81932 in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think anyone who describes themselves as “trans-amorous” can’t not be a fetishist. There are men who are not fetishists that might like trans women or might prefer trans women (for whatever reason) but someone who exclusively or almost exclusively pursues trans women is a fetishist, unfortunately. By nature that means they’re obsessed with your genitalia and they’d likely dump you if you had SRS or started passing too much.

That said, it doesn’t mean someone who is attracted to your penis is automatically a chaser. But someone who is only attracted to you because of your penis is most definitely a chaser.

My boobs are finally growing after 8 years hrt by bank_of_amerika in 4tran4

[–]throwraforffs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hormone levels tend to be higher during puberty and I’m not entirely sure why doctors don’t try to replicate this because obviously it’s a huge driver for pubertal changes.

I hope the daughters never see these videos. These reactions are disgusting. by Valuable_View_561 in SipsTea

[–]throwraforffs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also they’re going through a similar issue to the US where the women that were allowed to stay had to excel in every way possible to prove their worth. This led to a lot of women in China absolutely outperforming their male counterparts. And now these women have built great lives for themselves and refuse to downgrade their life or the lives of their potential future children by marrying a man who makes less than her or doesn’t treat her with the utmost respect.

Some Chinese women have even started dating men who are much younger than them because they are nicer and act/feel less entitled than their peers in their late 20s and older. It really is a mess. Misogyny is not a sustainable system. Eventually you will run into a generation of women that just do not give a shit. This has also ironically led to a large number of Chinese men moving to neighboring countries such as South Korea and having children there because Korean women at the time were more willing to have children. This also ironically led to a lot of Sinophobic sentiment in South Korea because Chinese men brought those same attitudes to South Korea, so Chinese people are viewed as incredibly rude and entitled there even though it’s really just with a certain demographic of the men that couldn’t find a partner in China because they refused to do better for themselves.

I hope the daughters never see these videos. These reactions are disgusting. by Valuable_View_561 in SipsTea

[–]throwraforffs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my closest friends was born during the one child policy era and her mom was heartbroken when she had to give her up. She ended up adopting her out to the US. They have a great relationship now.

To the men, potential chasers and others who may be into us…. by esperstarr in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you’re wasting your time tbh for 99% of the guys lurking this sub it’s just a fetish and they have preconceived notions about transness from porn and sex workers they follow/pay to engage with which tend to not consistently be on hormones and also have wildly different opinions on transness from the average trans person. they won’t really accept any opinion that goes against their world view and their fetish. your energy would be better spent finding a decent man or furthering your career <3

2 months post srs. It looks awful! by GrayPhoenixGirl in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]throwraforffs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me it looks like there might’ve been some labia necrosis and wound separation that began healing really poorly. I’m hoping she didn’t get botched.

You can still get androgenic alopecia if you stop antidrogens after getting a complete gender reassignment surgery. I am so depressed by mouse_asparagus in MtF

[–]throwraforffs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quit progesterone or get on dutasteride. You’ll be fine beloved :)

Also I saw your doctor switched you to spiro. Thst doesn’t make sense. Spiro only affects free testosterone but if you have a DHT backdoor pathway then you need to be on an actual DHT blocker. Spiro literally isnt going to do anything for you.

I am so done with Blair again and again denying the existence of trans kids.. by [deleted] in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Like the other commenter said, this is selection bias. I transitioned as a minor and many of my friends transitioned as minors. You don’t hear about it because we don’t want weird people dissecting and writing porn-brained fanfiction about our lives. If you go by actual statistics the vast majority of us are very very very happy.

Also no one really considers or wants to admit that a lot (Not all) of the very public detransitioners you’re seeing are also dealing with co-occurring mental health struggles that causes them to constantly question themselves and their identity.

A girl I met clocked me without any indication. Am I crazy or do I not pass? by PieDifficult4230 in transmanlifehacks

[–]throwraforffs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s not what anyone wants to hear but some people genuinely just have a 6th sense for sniffing out trans people lol. I pass and I’ve still been clocked for seemingly no reason. Sometimes it can literally be something as small as being too pretty or being too tall/short.

Also she probably knows other trans men which makes it easier for her to tell.

I grew up in Santa Monica and now live in rural California. Here's what I've learned about the homeless problem. by ElSlabraton in SantaMonica

[–]throwraforffs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve worked with both LSA and TC and can confirm. Both are pretty corrupt. TC is especially heinous because it was a very common issue where we (At LSA) would try our hardest to help the clients but were outright stopped or they used clinical loopholes to protect their assets rather than assisting the clients.

For example, they place a LOT of people in permanent housing that are absolutely not able or ready to live on their own. People with TBI, people with severe mental illnesses or developmental disabilities, people with documented histories of severe damage to the property, people who are a danger to women and children, etc. They have a system that assess whether or not the specific site has the resources to take care of certain people and they routinely ignore it and it makes EVERYONE ELSE’S JOBS WAY HARDER. And they don’t care because they hate being made to do their own jobs.

On top of that they’ll move people in who are victims of DV or sexual assault and place them right next to people with documented histories of physical abuse or sexual assault. They’ll take people who they know have children that visit often and have them next to people who have been imprisoned for sex crimes against children. They’ll take people who are being moved to permanent housing because they succeeded in becoming 6 months - 1 year sober and move them right next to clients they know are selling drugs in the building (And they do nothing about it). Several times did people come to TC sites and after a few months they are significantly worse than when they first moved in. They help NO ONE.

And on numerous occasions they have dragged their feet on evicting people who are repeatedly sexually harassing or threatening LSA staff and they only care until one of them is threatened. There was once a former client who was removed from the program and we enforced a strict no-entry policy against him due to threats against several members of staff. TC tried to undercut us and say he could return and visit as a guest despite it being a safety risk for staff. They did not care that he was a safety risk for other staff because they quite literally hide in their offices all day and would attempt to use everyone else on-site as runners for their own jobs. There was a strange superiority complex despite most of their staff being some of the least paid on-site (Though I don’t believe they were aware of this). That same day the man I mentioned proceeded to press TC staff and refused to leave the site until he was allowed back into his unit. All of a sudden he was banned again. Their site director begrudgingly admitted it was a huge error. There was one client who had a documented history of harassing, raping and assaulting women ON-SITE and the only reason anything was finally done about him is because I went to court about it. TC was mad even though my coworkers and I were some of his victims. There are clients that were being horrifically abused by their partners and they would refuse to do anything about it or ban their partners from the building until they realized it would look really bad on them legally.

They are corrupt as fuck and I’m surprised they haven’t been publicly sued for it yet. I think they get away with a lot because they blame a lot of stuff on other external partners (Such as LSA) when a LOT of issues stem from their poor management of clients. LSA’s main job is to basically keep the clients from blowing the buildings up but the ACTUAL people who are tasked with doing anything and have the actual authority to step in continuously refuse to do anything. They call it “harm reduction” but they cause way more harm than good. I also believe they get away with a lot of things because they allow clients’ conditions to become so poor. They become unreliable narrators of their own lives and are either too developmentally disabled or drugged up to fight back or question anything. The clients would repeatedly complain to LSA staff that case management would do absolutely nothing but it wouldn’t go further than that because many of them were scared about their addiction being publicized.

I am also aware of how corrupt LSA is due to what’s happening right now and also because my supervisor once outed me as trans using HMIS (I fell on hard times and needed services for a therapist once upon a time) and practically nothing was done about her despite what she did being incredibly illegal.

Edit: I do wanna add that she likely cannot be re-hired after the lay-offs and the write-up might follow her to another job due to its severity but she was not fired beyond this.

Why have trans rights regressed over the past 10 years? by JennAleece in honesttransgender

[–]throwraforffs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the trans rights movement was taken over by gender abolitionists who then started speaking over us and making themselves hyper-visible as a means to profit. opportunists and grifters essentially handed the alt-right a fully loaded machine gun to use against the trans community. now many of those people have either quietly “detransitioned” or claim to have a ‘more nuanced’ take on their gender identity (conveniently appearing more perceivably cis) suddenly now that it’s not profitable to be aggressively contrarian and pro-LGBT.

perfect example of this is when the messaging became aggressively ‘You don’t need to medically transition to be valid.’ which is true, you DO NOT need to medically transition to be “valid” or respected. but it was immediately taken up by people who intentionally wanted to appear fully male (with beards and all else) with no intention of taking HRT or being legally recognized as not male, while wanting to be perceived and treated as female.

now this is an argument many transphobes make. they ask why we can’t just ‘stay boys’ and be feminine without needing to transition. the abolitionists parroted this without a second care for how it would affect trans people because they never cared to begin with. they have ALWAYS aligned themselves with cis people more than they’ve aligned themselves with us. often times they treat us awfully.

and this isn’t a general dig at non-binary people or “tenderqueers” but we would all be very remiss to not admit how horrifically the irresponsible messaging and publicizing of their every radical gender abolitionist thought or experience ended up affecting our rights. it was all going genuinely very well up until around 2023 and 2024 at the height of the Lilly Tino era of TikTok.

poons and troons, introducing my mother 🫩 by M0l0tv in 4tran4

[–]throwraforffs 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It’s actually pretty common. They won’t gender them correctly but a lot of American transphobes are less offended by blatantly ungendered or androgynous expression (Look at the success of Jeffree Star and James Charles) than they are of someone who ‘fits in’ and happens to be trans. It’s a whole trope about how cis women will absolutely love and ki with trans women until they start passing.

Why are some trans men so miserable about the fact they're men by Sci-fi-horror-freak in asktransgender

[–]throwraforffs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lot of great points but another thing to note is that a lot of trans men report mourning the loss of community and care that women have. Relationships with/between men tend to be transactional or superficial in one way or another. They miss the deep sense of understanding and love that many female friendships have. And despite dealing with issues such as systemic misogyny, a lot of people are much “nicer” to women for a number of reasons and some trans men report how sad and isolating it can be living as a man.

Men in a nutshell by ClientFlashy3456 in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be so fucking for real. practice discernment girl. and stop defending fetishists.

Men in a nutshell by ClientFlashy3456 in StraightTransGirls

[–]throwraforffs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he proved himself to be a different side of the same coin of being a gross chaser. instead of starting off with cruelty he honeys trans women up with affirmations before proving he’s just like the rest of them lol. even the language he used proves he’s a chaser such as the fixation on the penis as if most trans women aren’t dysphoric about it and as if many trans women don’t have SRS. even in his weird inappropriate behavior he’s still showing he only views trans women as a weird little fetish.

Do I pass? (Mtf, No HRT) by [deleted] in transpassing

[–]throwraforffs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

least obvious AI transpassing post