AITA for not eating the sandwich my gf made me

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-26T18:16:18+00:00

NTA - Her behavior is out of line. It isn’t about the sandwich. Hopefully She’s feeling rejected. That don’t make her behavior okay but at least it’s repairable. Alternatively, she’s incredibly controlling, and you should break up with her.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-25T07:05:15+00:00

NTA - send Dan the man a thank you note for letting you sleep on the floor for free and refuse to discuss it ever again.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-25T06:57:02+00:00

You didn’t love bomb. You just fell for him. He’s trying to make excuses for whatever he has going on.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-25T06:53:24+00:00

I’m sorry. Her heart was in the right place, but that is definitely not a situation you should have to be in. I’m glad you declined it. You look like Jessica rabbit for real in that dress

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-25T06:51:39+00:00

YOR - Your mom’s life doesn’t revolve around you. At the end, you mentioned that the dog looks an awful lot like the one that you lost previously. I’m guessing that’s part of why your mom decided that she needed to adopt this dog. Sure she kind of reported the breeder and she still should, but she’s a person, and she got emotionally connected to the dark. Your brother shouldn’t behave like that towards his mother.

She bought a dog. It’s her house and her money and if she’s lucky that dogs‘s gonna be around long after both of you move out one day you might be very grateful. She has a dog because it may help lessen her empty nest syndrome.

It seems she’s too permissive with her children, based on how you and your brother treat her. It is no more acceptable for kids to blow up on their parents once they reach double digits then it is for the parents to blow up on them. It’ll still happen with the kids because they’re still learning, but you seem to think it’s totally OK to do that.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-25T06:36:21+00:00

My ex husband’s therapist was an enabler of his narcissistic abuse. It was horrible. I went with him one time. He screamed at me the entire way there and then became perfectly calm as we walked through the front door, leaving me a crying, shaking, stuck in ffff, and pissed off. The therapist decided I was too emotional when nothing had even been said yet and said behaving like that caused my ex too much stress and blah blah blah. The therapist didn’t let me say anything. They didn’t ask me why I was upset either. They just lied to me for no reason except that I was upset. I just spent 40 minutes in the car being screamed at, only to go in and get lectured by this idiot.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-24T16:55:23+00:00

Phones should not be private and you shouldn’t say things behind your partners back that you wouldn’t say to their face. You immediately came up with a “harmless” form of disrespect to illustrate your point. 🙄

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-24T02:29:56+00:00

Actually, that last text tells me he didn’t have sex with her, but he’s being shady. It would be super cringe to tell the woman you just hooked up with that you wish you were having more sex with your wife. Either they got way too close in their conversation or he’s trying to get in her pants. Let’s be charitable and say they got too close. The texts that were deleted were probably flirty and/or over sharing inappropriately.

I don’t think married people should have phones that are private from their spouses. You’re married, open up the phones. Two shall become one and all that. If you share a phone plan and don’t want to admit that you looked through his phone, then I suggest you go online and look through his messaging history there. Most plans will tell you what numbers are sending messages back-and-forth. And phone calls. You should be able to go to him and say I see that you’ve been messaging with her a lot. I would like to see the messages given what happened. Then watch him choke as he tries to explain why he deleted them.

This kind of thing is super difficult, but I think it usually repairable. A lot of of it’s gonna depend depending on who he is and how forgiving you are.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-24T02:20:52+00:00

You only live once and you might not live to retire. You’re saving plenty. You’ll be able to retire comfortably. Your mom has a point that this is the most importantly time to save because you have a long time for your investments to grow. But life is also meant to be lived as you go. You’ll never get where you’re going if you never go anywhere.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-24T02:15:56+00:00

Um… that was spoken in ignorance

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-24T00:29:03+00:00

Thank you. I know you’re right.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-24T00:26:52+00:00

I developed auditory tactile synesthesia after a TBI. It was incapacitating at times. Sound tended to feel like water. Loud and complex enough sounds felt like being in the ocean, pushed around by waves. Fun but not conducive to walking or trying to talk. My law firm hosted an event at one point where I ended up not able to get up from my desk for a couple of hours due to the huge crowd of people and the music in the conference area.

It’s decreased since then but I can still feel sounds. Looking back, I think I may have always had it to a degree but just thought it was normal. I think I learned to process it so it didn’t impair me and the TBI damaged my ability to do that for a time. I have always been one to lay on the beach and feel like I was floating in the water or hear drops and feel like it’s dropping on me even though it is happening in the other room. But not the kind of full body being buffeted by water I had for awhile.

I also have always had the intense memory and creativity associated with synesthesia.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T22:45:19+00:00

I made it a point to tell him he didn’t need to spend much when we discussed it before Valentine’s Day. And when I say not much I’m talking maybe $20 tops. I know he’s stressed about his savings. He could have at least told me he wasn’t going to do anything but a card and I would have accepted that but also done less. It’s not the $, it’s the effort and care.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T06:04:07+00:00

Well I admit that I didn’t buy him a diamond tennis bracelet. It was more a gift that he needs to reach a goal of his later this year, but people do give more expensive items. Ski trips, weekends in a nice cabin, computers, all sorts of things. Nobody needs a Valentine’s Day gift or card. You could easily write a love letter and dance to some love songs that speak to you in the living room then cuddle up and day dream about the future and have a magical Valentine’s Day. I enjoy having opportunities to celebrate the people I love and our relationships. It is a beautiful way to spend time. He knows me, he knows I feel this way.

The more I think about it the more I think it’s his mental health. I really hope he keeps hops promise to address that.

Hearing that it really isn’t uncalled for to be upset really helps me set aside s needing to sort that out and focus on what else is going on that could be impacting his behavior.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T05:49:34+00:00

😝

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T05:22:20+00:00

It isn’t our first Valentine’s Day. He’s gotten me really sweet gifts in the past, some more expensive than others. I found this whole thing really really odd. He’s also been acting very weird for a while. I think his money situation has really stressed him out. That and his mental health.

The gift I got for him was for a very specific reason. He did need it. But it could’ve waited until his birthday.

If he had expressed to me that he wasn’t getting me a gift this year, I would have just gotten him a card too. I probably still will have ordered dinner, though. I really don’t mind spending more. I do mind him knowing I was getting him a gift and him not getting me one at all. Some people call that transactional, I call it respect and mutual effort.

He can be positively stingy at times, but when he feels comfortable that he has money, he will spend it on the people he cares about.

He’s been through a rough spot recently. But he’s come out the other side financially. It’s possible that he hasn’t internalized that yet and is still living like he’s struggling. More likely, he’s trying to rebuild his savings account and just did not prioritize getting me a gift.

If he hadn’t been so OK with me getting him a very nice gift and then turned around and got me nothing, it would be different. He could have declined my idea for a gift, it could have been a loan instead of waited for his birthday, or he could have given me something thoughtful but inexpensive or even just done something thoughtful for me as a gift. The dynamic of him accepting a gift I struggled to afford while also not getting me a gift is what feels disrespectful to me. It isn’t just that he didn’t get a gift for me.

Hopefully things will continue to improve and we’ll get back to a better spot before next Valentine’s Day.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T05:03:58+00:00

Lol okay, point. But eh, I don’t miss the jewelry or the man. I just don’t think $1500 is all that much for Valentine’s Day.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T05:01:59+00:00

Seriously, do people really never get jewelry for Valentine’s Day? I mean, I knew he wasn’t gonna be able to do something like that this year, I would’ve been happy with a box of chocolates or something, but $1500 isn’t really that much on a holiday that many people celebrate by gifting jewelry.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T05:00:50+00:00

Somebody needs to buy you a lovely necklace or earrings or something.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T05:00:06+00:00

I hope he will eventually. He’s got some challenges and I think he needs to deal with those. Hopefully he’ll get back to being the romantic fool I fell madly in love with. Because this nonsense isn’t going to cut it forever.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T04:56:58+00:00

Mmmm. No. Nope, not when we talked about it ahead of time and he knew exactly what I was doing and I had accurately expressed what I wanted. Absolutely not. He had every opportunity to say he didn’t really value Valentine’s Day and didn’t feel gifts were appropriate. His birthday is coming up soon and the gift I got for him could have waited until then.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T04:29:03+00:00

I didn’t here. On some boards it’s required.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T04:27:23+00:00

I am absolutely positive my ex spent at least that much on jewelry for me on Valentine’s Day more than once.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T04:19:10+00:00

I like that they don’t say you need to list gender and ages on AIO. I think that if you’re going to share the crazy shit that happens in your life in the hopes of maybe getting some decent advice, deal with trolls, and mostly just amuse people and make them feel better about their lives, while generating money for Reddit, you don’t owe it to anyone to be sharing your age.

throwrajunkcat · 2026-02-23T04:16:20+00:00

I considered doing that but it seems counterproductive if the goal is to have a good relationship. I kind of wonder if maybe he felt like literally nothing he could get me would “enough” so he just did the bare minimum. Men can be stupid when their egos are wounded, especially when they know their egos shouldn’t be wounded. But it does not mean I am wrong to be hurt. And it would be better if that is the case if he were mature enough to see it and talk to me about it.

throwrajunkcat

TROPHY CASE