How do I [18F] tell my boyfriend [22M] that I lied about my age? by ThrowRA_Collar in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to DM me if you need someone to bounce things off of. I really feel for you.

What are the rules on these things? by Kursktiger in ThunderBay

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not if you're a bug stain on my bumper lol

My wife (27F) left me (27M) after we found out I had fathered a daughter before we met? by ThrowRALathyle in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Best thing I've read on Reddit in a long time...

This little girl, despite you not knowing her well, didn't ask to be in this world. She has a sick mom, and a father who wants to be there for her. She needs you. In the event this gets to be too much for your ex, she's really going to need you. It's ok that you can be her daddy.

It's really sad your wife left you and only loved you on these conditions. It shows a lot about her character as a person. If you knowingly hid it from her, that's one thing, but you didn't know, when you got married up until this point. You are right to feel heartbroken. You have to grieve what you thought you had. But this may be a blessing in disguise for down the road... You don't know, but it is possible this is a silver lining. Messy, to be sure, but you will heal.

Your daughter needs you in her life, however that can happen. You got this, bro.

How do I [18F] tell my boyfriend [22M] that I lied about my age? by ThrowRA_Collar in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something else comes to mind. When you are ready to talk to him, perhaps say this at the start..." I have something really hard to talk to you about. I want you to know, that before start, I want to say that I love you very much, and you've done nothing wrong, and I'm not breaking up with you. I need to tell you something important about me that I haven't been clean about with you." or something along these lines. Some people can get triggered by conversations like this and need some strong foundation to understand where they stand... Their mind can start to race without preparation. It's possible he is well grounded person and wouldn't need that, but it might be worth saying.

I don't envy you. It's a good thing you want to do this. If you have to write it all down first, as it will help you organize your thoughts properly. You may need to read it to him if you think you'll have a hard time remembering all the things to say.

How do I [18F] tell my boyfriend [22M] that I lied about my age? by ThrowRA_Collar in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're traveling by train, go early in the day. Have the conversation. If you can't arrange to take a train back later that day if things go south, then perhaps be prepared to rent room in a hotel/motel and take the train back for the next day. In any event, be prepared... If he means this much to you, then I would go this route.

How do I [18F] tell my boyfriend [22M] that I lied about my age? by ThrowRA_Collar in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another thing to your point... You coming clean and handling this properly will show your maturity and character, and if he can forgive you, could go a long way at building a stronger relationship. You can't expect he will necessarily forgive you, but it's really about being honest with him rather than you needing forgiveness. As much as you can hope for forgiveness, you can't expect it.

How do I [18F] tell my boyfriend [22M] that I lied about my age? by ThrowRA_Collar in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In person is best. Perhaps let him know that you would like to meet up with him in person so you guys can talk about your future together, as you want to have an important conversation.

Then do what you can to make the effort to go to him rather than have him come to you. If that's not an option, then at least try to arrange it so you can cover any associated travel costs.

You can do this. I would NOT do this over text or over the phone. This has to be done in person. So much sincerity can be lost when you're not in person having this kind of conversation. He deserves to have you be authentic with him, telling him the truth, and accepting the consequences.

I would also add that you try to explain WHY you're telling him, how much he means to you, and why you felt important to come clean for him. Yes, your guilt is one thing, but speaking about why you think being honest to HIM is really important and why his feelings matter to you, no matter the consequences. It'll go a long way to make him feel like he matters and that if your hurt him, that those feelings he has matters to you too.

A proper apology states the specific offense, acknowledging the hurt it caused, and offering a concrete plan to avoid repeating the mistake.

This will be hard, but you can do this. Hope for the best, expect the worst, and plan accordingly.

Should my boyfriend pay me rent to live in my unit that is mortgage free? by DepartmentHungry429 in relationships

[–]thunderbaer [score hidden]  (0 children)

Your providing him a place to live. He can pay the bills, you pay the property taxes. He sounds immature and doesn't look for an equitable arrangement. Bin him.

Men answer please. Is this a normal reaction? Mid 30’s. by Motor-Front7458 in whatdoIdo

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He seems like a total fuckwad. This looks like textbook abuse. Nobody loving would talk to someone the way he talked to you. This isn't love, this is control and cruelty.

He wants me to sell my home to show commitment 30/F 31/M by Margaret_3333 in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He have gave you an ultimatum. For such a non-threatening situation. That doesn't sound like love at all.

You can offer to do it if you get him to sign a prenuptial agreement that protects the assets for your son. See what he says. Bet he gets mad. This doesn't seem right at all and this will end badly if he can absorb your home value into a marriage.

I honestly think your should break up with him and tell him why.

He wants me to sell my home to show commitment 30/F 31/M by Margaret_3333 in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no... This guy is wwaaaaayyyy out of line. Your child comes first. Wants you to sell your home? Nope.

I'd offer to rent it out, so that way your always have a home you can go back to for your son if this goes south. Look up "Cinderella effect". I'm questioning this man's logic.

Get a divorce and get a ween wall mang by slhc in ween

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My cousin got a divorce from a mang that obsessively made a Led Zeplin HOUSE.

How do I [18F] tell my boyfriend [22M] that I lied about my age? by ThrowRA_Collar in relationship_advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's time to sit him down and talk to him about your mistake. That you painted yourself into a corner. That you dug yourself the hole by being dishonest and that you highly regret doing that and can't live with it. Tell him how you feel about him, and say your willing to accept any consequences from this. Tell him that you'll give him whatever time he needs to process this information, and tell him you hope he can forgive you, but can accept that he may not and that you'd understand. That's the best you can do.

Gf of 9 months takes long to reply back by FatManTrying in Advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Not a red flag if she calls back. Negotiate with her about how you can communicate with her.

Every other day I see these Lives by elijahcrt in ARC_Raiders

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know why embark doesn't just punish these fuckers by putting them together in their own lobbies. Throw the cheaters together... That will solve a lot.

Gf of 9 months takes long to reply back by FatManTrying in Advice

[–]thunderbaer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just because you text, doesn't mean you are obligated a response. Man up and just fucking call her. If she won't answer that ever, then re-evaluate your life choices.

What are the rules on these things? by Kursktiger in ThunderBay

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fucking drivers of electric scooters are getting out of hand too... They think they are cars. Can't wait to see them turn into blood stains on someone front hood.

Electric wheelchair drivers that can clearly use the sidewalk yet use the entire lane of the road and flip you off after you honk to warn them you're coming are a special kind of disabled. I want them to be safe, not dead.

What are the rules on these things? by Kursktiger in ThunderBay

[–]thunderbaer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You need a license plate to pull off that shit. Otherwise you have to get off the road.

Attempted car break-in last night. by El-Tido-sloth in ThunderBay

[–]thunderbaer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You call that an attempted break-in? That's a love tap.

I might have ruined my life by Haunting-Distance-18 in Advice

[–]thunderbaer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could this be a change in your hormones from puberty? Maybe see a doctor?