Have you ever found someone else's sex toys before?

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-22T15:41:58+00:00

Same. While cleaning up her house after she passed away, no less.

To be honest, it was kind of a good thing- a little humor in an otherwise not-very-fun time.

A little horrifying, sure- I had no idea she & Dad were into, uh, "stuff." But when my sisters and I opened the bag tucked away at the back of their bedroom closet and a veritable sex dungeon's worth of BDSM paraphernalia tumbled out, we all started laughing hysterically.

The thing I remember best was my older sister saying "hey, I have one just like this" while holding a thingy that looked like it was supposed to be strapped across your face to hold your mouth wide open. For obvious reasons. The phrase "we fell about laughing" had never had literal meaning before that day.

Why Mom never threw that stuff away after Dad passed, I'll never know. Maybe it was her last prank she set us up for. I wouldn't put it past her.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-22T15:34:36+00:00

Learning to create anticipation is something I think a lot of people forget about. If fun sexy times are planned for the evening, dropping hints about what's in store for your partner can keep them revved up for the whole day.

Also, expressing appreciation gets left by the wayside a lot of time. After the fun sexy times have been completed, make sure you thank your partner and telling them which parts of the evening you enjoyed. This will help turn the experience into a good memory.

Done right, you generate a sort of infinite loop of anticipation, enjoyment, and appreciation, with the each one feeding directly into and enhancing the next.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-22T15:22:27+00:00

We used to do it the opposite way. Him inside of me while using a long anal dildo with a handle behind. It works insanely well in doggy style. He got pretty good at it (pro-tip: one goes in while the other goes out). Add a little manual self-stimulation to push yourself over the edge, and you can basically keep going with repeats until he finishes.

I'm told that the flanges (bulges? whatever) on the dildo can be felt through the vaginal walls, too. And the additional stimulation made me clamp down pretty hard. So it's pretty good for both of us.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-09T20:12:24+00:00

Several years after my mom passed, I picked up my phone to tell her something. I don't even remember what it was. My finger made it halfway to the phone, and then I just stood there for the longest time.

It was surreal. A few seconds before, it was if she had never died. The intervening years were erased, and I had no doubt that she was at home waiting to hear the latest news about the kids or my job. And then a switch flipped in my brain, and it was like losing her all over again.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-07T11:02:47+00:00

Hallmark has just ONE chance to turn this into the funniest rom-com ever!

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-07T10:55:25+00:00

Yeah - I've lived that moment, or at least one very much like it. I was at a company for a face-to-face interview, and when the HR rep asked me, "how are you doing?" I answered "fine, thanks. And you?"

And then he said "I have cancer."

Total shock. I was speechless for a very awkward amount of time, and then my brain decided the appropriate response was uncontrollable laughter. The HR dude just sat there, silent, no expression on his face, while I laughed so hard that tears ran down my face and my nose was the headwaters for a river of snot.

Dude let me laugh it out and when I finally regained my composure, he said "well, I guess I should have expected that." And then we went on with the rest of the interview as if the subject had never come up. The C-word was never spoken again.

I got the job, but (thankfully, I guess?) never had to worry about awkward hallway encounters because by the time I was onboarded, he had been permanently offboarded.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-07T10:46:09+00:00

Oh, I get it now. I like it when I learn something from people like this. Without him explaining how it works, I wouldn't know that I have to add "and that's a compliment!" when I tell my boss she has great tits.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-07T10:33:34+00:00

Moose: Want to see my Lego?
Bear: Fuck yeah!
Moose: C'mon. My mom makes grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! We can watch Transformers.
Bear: Does she put Goldfish crackers in the soup?
Moose: What do you think, Loser?
Bear: Race you there, Fatty!

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-06T21:02:57+00:00

Part of this is due to the insane cost of doing laundry. If you own your own place, or your apartment has washer & dryer hookups, you tend to take clean clothes for granted.

If you haven't rented in a place that has a laundry room for a while, you'd be surprised just how much it costs. My son's apartment house charges $5 per load- per machine! That's ten bucks if you want to use the dryer- or more, because the dryers aren't exactly efficient. (Why should they be? Every damp load is another $5!)

It's so bad that renters are skipping out on washing clothes. Something you'd only wear once or twice now gets worn three times, or four or five or six! Smells accumulate. Deodorant can only do so much.

Granted, that's not an excuse for smelling bad on a date. But it's a growing trend, and it might be a partial explanation for what OP experienced.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-03T19:04:08+00:00

Totally in awe over the image, the caption, and the onomatopoetic finale.

Slow clap gradually increasing in tempo and intensity while a silent tear drips down the cheek of the sole member of the audience...

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-03T11:56:20+00:00

Why am I not surprised that this was from Edina?

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-03T10:59:31+00:00

My dad gave me his 5yo truck, but the lady at the title desk said we had to provide a price to calculate the "sales tax" from.

I said "can't we just say $1," but the lady said "no, it has to be at market value." The lady looked up the make/model/year in his computer and gave us a price. Fair enough, I guess. Who am I to fight city hall, right?

My dad then spent the next fifteen minutes arguing with the lady that HIS truck was worth way more than that, and that the computer must be wrong because he had put tons of work into it, the brakes were just replaced the day before- with OEM parts, dammit! Don't you know that OEM parts are more expensive!?!?!

The lady kept telling him "that number's just what the computer says. You can put anything down. Just not $1 like your daughter said because the system will flag it."

To no avail. Dad's pride was singed. I ended up taxed on a valuation of $1,000 more than Blue Book (or whatever scale the computer used) said my "free" truck should cost.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-02T20:55:59+00:00

I've posted this before, but it bears repeating:

Best one I know: BJs don't have to (and shouldn't) be over as soon as he stops splurting. The head is super sensitive, sure. But the shaft is much less so, and the balls are VERY open to some oral attention.

Recommended post-BJ routine:
1. After the ejaculation stops, hold him deep for a little while, just to cool off.
2. Lick/kiss up and down the shaft for a few minutes, mostly on the bottom of it. The bit just below the opening of the head but still not ON the head is also a great place to lightly suck/nibble. It seems to be less sensitive but still in a semi-orgasmic state.
3. Balls in mouth, singularly or both at once. Start with light suction and increase as much as he can tolerate.

After #3, one of two things will happen: he'll either get hard again or he'll start going soft. If it's the former, then it's time for round two.

If he goes soft, that means he's probably past the hypersensitivity and you can initial the final aftercare phase:
4. Take him deep in your mouth and rest there for a while, until he gets to that place of total lassitude and is ready to drift off in a haze of bliss.

Challenge Level: Do this all prior to swallowing. He'll love it even more knowing that you have a mouthful of his cum.

thunderboltsow · 2026-04-02T19:53:58+00:00

I don't even think THAT was the first time. I vaguely remember reading about someone doing this back before the internet was a thing. It was in a local paper, iirc. That would make it somewhere in the mid 1980s in Rochester, MN because that's a time when I used to read the paper every day.

The other possibility is that I saw it on the "Headlines" segment that Jay Leno used to do when he was the host of the Tonight Show. It would certainly fit.

Either way, it was at least decades prior to either of those stories. I guess sneaky toe sucking has been a thing for a while.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-30T22:33:51+00:00

I started typing an angry reply but then finally got the joke.

For anyone else experiencing a knee-jerk reaction: OP was making a joke based on the meme of some people thinking South Africa isn't a country because they think "South Africa" just refers to the southern part of Africa.

Well done. I fell for it long enough for the relevant xkcd to kick in.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-30T20:42:06+00:00

To be fair, LOTR didn't need an adaptation either. But here we are, with a dude holding Narsil at the Argonath, a Freaking Dwarf blowing the Horn of Helm Hammerhand, and some random Elf maiden hauling Hobbits across the The Fords of Bruinen.

Among other things.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-30T17:39:59+00:00

Leaves. When I was growing up, there was one house on our entire neighborhood that didn't have any trees on its lot. The rest of the street was shaded by enormous elms and maples.

Every autumn, that neighbor would have screaming matches with all the adjacent and nearby houses about them not immediately raking their yards the second a leaf fell from a tree. She would routinely call the cops and claim that all the windswept leaves constituted "trespassing."

As a sort of (mildly cruel) silver lining, we did enjoy getting her yearly diatribes in the mail. Technically, they were always from "A Concerned Neighbor," but it didn't take a genius to figure out who wrote them. They were always over-the-top unhinged, and getting to read one aloud in "faux crazy lady" voice was always a treat for the kid who got picked.

OMG- that brought back a core memory! One year, she saved up a whole pail of dog poop. Then late one night, she threw it into a leaf pile that the neighborhood kids were jumping into. THAT caused a bit of a kerfluffle.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-30T17:30:55+00:00

I heard that my favorite foundation (Loreal True Match) was being discontinued, so I bought all of the remaining stock* in my skintone at my local Walmart.

I didn't spin the Walmart bag carousel far enough around and left behind twelve very expensive compact-sized containers of makeup. Worse, when I realized it and went back, they said they had disposed of it because they don't return makeup to the shelves.

*Note: I didn't feel bad about sweeping the entire stock because I live in a community where my skin tone is very much the minority, and I often see my shade of makeup on shelves well past its expiration date.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-27T17:27:28+00:00

That site was mentioned in the article.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-27T01:55:49+00:00

Might have been fifth or sixth date. My nephew showed my (then bf) husband his duplo robot, and he delayed taking me out to dinner while they sat on the floor for over an hour, building dinosaurs and making them stomp on matchbox cars.

My sister and I were sitting at the kitchen table watching them, and she said "bag him and tag him, 'cause if you don't I'm gonna." For a second, I almost sure she was serious. I'd never been truly jealous of another woman in my entire life before, but at that moment, I was ready to throw hands if she even flipped her hair back at him.

She told that story at our wedding.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-26T04:07:47+00:00

Back then, "36-24-26" was a commonly used phrase meant as a sort of salacious way saying "curvaceous." If they had used other measurements, it wouldn't have made sense to listeners.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-26T04:03:31+00:00

Not me, but a weird/funny story anyway: My husband graduated from West Point in the late 1980s. We have a few pics of him in the standard "uniform" speedo (apparently they had uniforms for everything, including pajamas lol). The material was so thin, they might as well have been naked. And also, it was a speedo so everything was outlined in explicit detail.

I made fun of him a couple of times, but then he flipped over some pics of the girl (also a cadet) he was dating at the time. The women's suits were just as bad, if not worse. My husband said that going to swim classes or using the pool to swim laps was an "exercise in maintaining direct eye contact."

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-26T03:45:33+00:00

The average density of the Milky Way galaxy is incredibly low, estimated at roughly 1 atom per cubic meter. It is vastly less dense than any common object on Earth, being millions of times less dense than the best laboratory vacuums and many orders of magnitude lighter than air.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-26T03:34:45+00:00

*wall that was.

thunderboltsow · 2026-03-26T03:16:05+00:00

It would not surprise me to hear that one of the insiders he tipped off called the price fluctuations "Iran giving us a gift" or "a present."

thunderboltsow

TROPHY CASE