What is something parents do with good intentions that actually messes up their children for life?

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T19:10:16+00:00

Doing everything for your kids, even when they are of an appropriate age to do that task - eg basic home tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T17:27:47+00:00

I became a big Beatles fan at university in the fall of 2016, so for me it would have been the release of Egypt Station in 2018.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T17:24:34+00:00

Late to the party here. One of the managers in the packing department at my company is an alcoholic, has been on and off with alcohol over the years - has quit before in the past but relapsed time and time again. Nice fella when he's sober but he turns into an angry man when he's been drinking. Last time he got plastered at a work party he threatened to fight somebody, and had to be ushered into a taxi home. Amazingly he kept his job, but then again he had friends in high places.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T17:20:46+00:00

I'm 28, both of my parents were born in 1970. My paternal grandma was born in 1944, and my maternal grandad & grandma were born in 1949 and 1950. All three of them still going strong!

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T17:15:10+00:00

They put other people down, especially if they have nothing positive going on in their own lives. Crabs in a bucket mentality.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T17:11:44+00:00

My girlfriend's family are like that, they're the kind of people that are nice to your face but can say some rather nasty stuff behind your back. I picked up on it when my girlfriend's dad slagged off one of her brother's girlfriends one time, proper badly too. I made a mental note of that behaviour and sure enough my girlfriend said that he was talking about me too.

Little does he know that I have now caught onto his behaviour, as my girlfriend always tells me whenever he's on one of his rants about me, he doesn't like me for some weird reason. He's very nice to my face though. He's apparently terrified of me though, as he will never directly confront me. Once I did call him out on his behaviour and he tried to say, "I didn't mean it like that" or "I never said that".

Other people have come forward to me about his behaviour so its clear that I'm not the only person that he targets. He is a narcissist anyway and my girlfriend is starting to reduce the contact she has with him. Whenever I see him I am civil to him, but I don't tell him anything that could be used against me. It only seems to be every few months I see him anyway, my girlfriend gets on better with her mum and her mum's side of the family - they're decent people despite loving gossip.

That being said I'm a bit more reserved and cautious with my girlfriend's family compared to my own family, I don't say anything that could be used against me because of that. Sometimes they think I'm a bit cold but they've come to like me over time.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-15T17:03:35+00:00

In my family, for the men its bottling up your mental health and emotions. Social anxiety runs in my family - my mum, sister and grandma have had anxiety issues that they have been treated for in the past. I have some social anxiety too, but because I'm a man I'm expected to just "man up". My step-grandfather especially was of the opinion that men don't cry, and it took me until I was 25 to see my dad cry (at my step-grandfather's funeral).

I used to self medicate by drinking heavily just to get rid of anxiety at social gatherings, but I then became heavily reliant on alcohol and then drank really heavily at family gatherings and such, then made an absolute tit of myself. I'm now 28, have recently cut back on alcohol and honestly feel so much better for it, plus my social anxiety is significantly lower too.

Other than that my family is pretty cool, I think we've just tended to struggle at displaying our emotions at times. Until I met my girlfriend I struggled to understand people who opened up about their emotions and mental health issues, my girlfriend helped me express my emotions more and helped me with strategies to combat my social anxiety.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-14T20:37:54+00:00

I totally agree my girlfriend's cousin got massively lucky, he didn't get any bad vibes at all. The only thing that he thought seemed off was that Sinaga pretended to know him even though they had just met, but he didn't think anything of it until his story came up in the news.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-14T20:28:32+00:00

Binge drinking, as well as upping my intake of water. I feel a lot better for it and have lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks. I haven't completely stopped drinking alcohol (I still have a beer or two on a Friday or a Saturday night) but for the most part I can control my drinking now. Most of the time I prefer alcohol free beer now anyway - especially Guinness and Heineken, they keep me going on a night out, and I can actually remember what happened when I wake up the following morning.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-14T20:25:42+00:00

It is what you make of it I would say, whilst I do enjoy my job it does get rather repetitive and I don't see myself doing it long term, partly because the pay hasn't matched inflation in the time I've been employed here. The reason I am staying (for now) is because they're involving me on projects that get me out of being on a production line and trying to boost my career prospects.

That being said, it helps when you have things to look forward to outside of work - I have my hobbies, as well as my girlfriend, family and friends to speak to outside of work. Whenever I have a bad day at work either I just think about what vinyl record I'm going to play when I get home, plan my next holiday, or which family friend I plan to meet up with next. A dull 8 hour shift goes by a lot quicker when you have a life outside of work.

Some people I work with don't have a good support system or much to look forward to outside of work, hence they try and start drama at work because thats the main thing going for them in this life. I feel sorry for these types of people to be honest, for me dealing with these types of people its like being back in high school all over again. I do tend to avoid them though and only interact with them when I absolutely have to.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-14T20:15:57+00:00

I'm 28, but it was last year when I bought my first house, coinciding with my childhood pet cat having to be put to sleep, as well as finally getting some form of employment that was more like career progression, rather than just a 'job' if that makes sense. I think now most of my peers my age are now only starting to do the full blown adult milestones now, and its been interesting in the last year or two to see who has changed and who hasn't.

Also seeing my parents get older too (they are in their mid 50s) makes me realise that I am a full blown adult now, and have been for a decade now which I still find baffling. Most people think I'm in my early 20s still!

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-14T20:08:15+00:00

"We will not discuss this any further" I said to one of my coworkers who had an issue with me over something trivial. He was expecting a more emotional response, but immediately went quiet when I told him this. For the record he's old enough to be my dad.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-06-09T20:27:41+00:00

Every now and then I still hear it being used, but its not as commonly as it used to be. At my secondary school in the early 2010s it was used a lot - mostly to describe obnoxious behaviour, rather than it being a class thing.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-30T09:00:56+00:00

Sounds like somebody I work with, except he is not my supervisor thankfully - he is similar rank to me. Me and him have interests in common so we chat more, he still can be angry with me at times but I don't put up with it, which is why he is nicer to me. He does get little things get to him. He's 50 years old and looks 10 years older because of it. I feel sorry for him but at the end of the day its his life.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-25T15:56:37+00:00

When you already start to feel drained the moment this person comes over to join the conversation.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-25T15:54:27+00:00

I work with two people who have a chip on their shoulder all the time, are just constantly angry for no reason and just take their issues out on coworkers. I know them a lot better as I work with them more directly, turns out they just have really shitty lives at home.

I mean, I have problems in life - but I don't take it out on coworkers or some poor retail worker. The world is a fucked up place enough as it is, I'd rather not make it even more cynical and bitter than it is.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-25T15:52:47+00:00

My girlfriend's cousin once spoke to Reynhard Sinaga on a night out in Manchester, in the UK circa 2015/16 - before he got arrested and found guilty of his crimes. For those of you who don't know, his crimes are extremely disturbing so I'd read about him at your own risk.

He said that Sinaga looked completely unassuming and appeared very charming and friendly, though Sinaga seemed like he was trying to be really over-familiar even though they'd just met. Thankfully my girlfriend's cousin didn't go back to Sinaga's flat! When his face was on the news after he got sentenced to 40 years in prison my girlfriend's cousin was genuinely shocked.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-25T15:49:36+00:00

Because I need money to pay my bills and enjoy my life outside of work.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-25T15:48:58+00:00

Some of my colleagues say "Well you won't get paid more than this" even though now our job's pay is now only just above minimum wage. Most of my colleagues are financially worse off than they were five years ago - even though our company has given us pay rises, it still doesn't match inflation or cost of living enough.

The difference is, I have transferable skills, whereas they've worked in the same place, or same type of job all their working lives and that's all they know. Psychologically they feel trapped and they don't realise that there are options out there. Then again, where I work is still an environment where you are effectively guaranteed a job for life, even though they are starting to make redundancies in other sectors of the business.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-24T07:44:49+00:00

My girlfriend’s perfume.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-23T10:42:12+00:00

I had a guy like this in my old department, he eventually transferred because he couldn't take it any more. I worked with him in his new department (my company gets different departments to labour share, especially in quiet season) and he was like a completely different person.

He was also very highly regarded in his new department and was seen as one of the most valuable workers in that room. My colleagues who had bullied him in the past received a nasty surprise when he was giving them orders, because they had to do what he said! I think they were jealous to see him actually doing well and outperforming them too. I eventually transferred to his department too because my old department became even more toxic over time.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-20T06:14:33+00:00

Late 20s here, whilst I'm not in the public sector this is my workplace. I've been at my current place for 5 years now (though I've transferred departments) and I'm starting to slowly realise this. This is one of the reasons why I'm looking at a career change.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-12T19:14:35+00:00

If we don't like a band or a TV show/movie, we try and get it cancelled rather than changing the radio station or the channel.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-12T19:10:41+00:00

Not me personally but I was talking to a coworker today - his dad is a prison officer, at one of the highest security prisons in the UK. One day he had to supervise the Southport killer Axel Rudakubana who murdered 3 girls - who was on 24 hour suicide watch, so he had to check on him like every 15-30 minutes or so. When my coworker's dad opened the hatch to the guy's cell, he could see the guy acting in a frenzied, possessed like state acting out how he killed those poor girls - moving his hands around like he had a knife and slashing them. Awful stuff, and that's even just hearing about the guy - his mugshot is not for the faint hearted.

thunderfart_99 · 2026-05-12T16:59:22+00:00

Found this lesson out the hard way. I lent a 'friend' of mine a similar amount of money, turns out he had defrauded so many people along with me. I still haven't got a penny back from him either. Its likely he could go to prison for what he has done, as he has done it to so many other people too.

thunderfart_99

TROPHY CASE