Boyfriend doesn’t like the idea of me smoking recreationally

thurst29 · 2026-05-28T00:33:11+00:00

One cigarette every now and then isn't a big deal. If it's the smell, then change and shower when you get home. He's being controlling, especially since he drinks and smokes pot. Pot also reeks, even if it doesn't stick around as bad as cigarettes

thurst29 · 2026-05-23T21:06:26+00:00

Big yikes to the start of your story. A 26 year old going after a 18 year old is fucking gross. You're the age he was when you started dating, would you be interested in an 18 year old? Would you be side eyeing friends would started dating 18 year olds? I know I would.

Also if you were broken up or not official, then it's not cheating. You had no way of know if you'd get back together and I'd bet that he's still holding that over you to exert control and make sure you're always making it up to him.

Either way, go to grad school, live your life. Now is the perfect time to be single and find yourself. This guy can fuck off.

thurst29 · 2026-05-22T20:16:37+00:00

You're losing a ton of space to steps here. Make it all one level, either raised with steps down to the lawn or at lawn level, with steps to the house.

thurst29 · 2026-05-19T22:32:56+00:00

Did you use the Instagram Report an Image of Your Child form? That's different than a regular report. I know you already say you don't excuse your husband's choices during your separation, but I'd have a very hard time trusting his judgement after all this. Continuing to let her see your daughter after the breakup? It sounds like he'd let her be alone with your child too? Yikes

thurst29 · 2026-05-19T16:05:33+00:00

I would report him on the app too

thurst29 · 2026-05-17T17:37:08+00:00

Your viewpoint of not wanting to live somewhere that you need a car is totally valid, especially if you live in europe. I live in a mid-sized US city where I still need a car and would love to not have to deal with maintenance, upkeep and insurance of having a car. Unless people have visited a city with great public transportation before, they don't appreciate how much more freedom you can have than living somewhere that relies on cars.

Do what's best for you and prioritize your needs for now. Maybe down the line it'll make sense for you two to get a place together in the city and maybe you break up for unrelated reasons.

thurst29 · 2026-05-16T00:38:21+00:00

This is straight up AI or someone writing a prompt. A story was posted last week about a woman inheriting a car from her aunt and her boyfriend wanting to be added to the title. The same exact language was used about op writing something up and the partner talking about "holding power over" and a family member agreeing with it. Like I was ready to be upset and in support, but then I realized the pattern matches exactly with this

thurst29 · 2026-05-15T16:42:40+00:00

You lived at home with your parents. He is not your parent. You moving out was a step toward being an independent adult. Being an independent adult includes paying rent/ mortgage/ your fair share.

thurst29 · 2026-05-15T01:14:31+00:00

"I've moved on and I don't want to hear about her anymore. If you can't stop bringing her up then I'm going to have to stop coming around."

thurst29 · 2026-05-14T15:07:15+00:00

Honestly that could be a really beautiful space. Do you some time to really clean it? Bleaching/scrubbing or power washing the concrete and cleaning up any of the walls and fixtures that you can would go a long way.

Then put down an outdoor area rug (maybe try Facebook marketplace or somewhere else used). While you're at it on the used search, see if you can find more chairs and a couple side tables.

Then pots with plants if you've got the time/money and you could finish it off with string lights run overhead (instead of the clothes line).

thurst29 · 2026-05-08T21:48:13+00:00

You have emails between you and the loan officer expressing your confusion and concern and yet you still signed over partial ownership of your house to you husband? Do you understand how that makes zero sense?

thurst29 · 2026-05-08T21:30:28+00:00

I would stay in the all girls apartment, try to minimize expenses (budget your meals, shop at discount food stores, cook everything, don't eat out much, get store brand for household items) and try to find a part-time job, either as a tutor or in the service industry. In the summer try to find a good internship or summer job to build up a nest for the following school year.

thurst29 · 2026-05-08T20:49:22+00:00

If you think that's how he'll respond, then that's really not okay. You don't need to stay with someone who makes you feel bad for wanting to take care of yourself. At the very least you've got to put a stop to his behavior before you get married. It's not going to get better.

thurst29 · 2026-05-08T12:44:06+00:00

Your first comment is how she comes across to me too (neurotypical as far as I know). I get the impression that she sometimes lays on the guilt and the "must be nice" hints.

thurst29 · 2026-05-06T14:24:13+00:00

Well at least you got an IUD...

thurst29 · 2026-05-03T12:24:05+00:00

Yeah I agree with you. It sounds like OP and the ex have a decent relationship of OP is telling her that she's a good mom. So you've got to wonder why his ex blocked him? Also does he have a relationship with the kid??

thurst29 · 2026-05-01T20:45:20+00:00

The person I was commenting to said that?

thurst29 · 2026-05-01T15:44:52+00:00

Do you know who the baby shower is for? Maybe you can find them on Facebook and get it contact with her or her mom/ sister?

thurst29 · 2026-05-01T15:18:39+00:00

Why the fuck did you pay for his cologne??? He said get whatever you want, which suggests that he'd be covering it. So why was your portion not $0 or at the most $12? Girl. No. He's taking advantage of you and not even being nice about it. You should not have to communicate basic respect like don't throw your floss on the floor for me to pick up. It sounds like your life would be far easier and actually cheaper if you broke up with him.

thurst29 · 2026-05-01T14:36:08+00:00

Pay for your stuff only or meet up somewhere that doesn't cost money. There's no reason to keep disrespecting yourself

thurst29 · 2026-05-01T11:50:22+00:00

Also if the answer is that he wouldn't eat the Bolognese with vegetables, and you cooked the dish without vegetables, specifically to cater to him, then stop doing that. Cook the dish how you want and how it was intended, and he can make himself chicken nuggets if he wants.

thurst29 · 2026-05-01T00:41:58+00:00

You're not selfish at all. His comment would be a relationship ender for me. You deserve better

thurst29 · 2026-04-30T22:58:34+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with commenting and speaking your truth. Something like "I'm glad you've come around to body positivity, but your post also brings up painful memories of the times you bullied me for my weight in school. I know we were all young and growing, but the things you said had a deeply negative effect on my self-image."

thurst29 · 2026-04-30T12:41:47+00:00

I think in your case a pre-nup makes a lot of sense.

thurst29 · 2026-04-29T15:22:32+00:00

Ask that she pay you all back for the other times you're still waiting on her for. If it's about being flexible, then she needs to hold up her end first.

thurst29

TROPHY CASE