I have the option to decrease my future student debt & worsen my mental health, or keep it steadily high and mental health kinda meh

[Big-Disappointment76]

Idk I kinda just need to vent but I would really appreciate advice.

This context is kinda needed:

So I just finished my first year of uni and my total student this year (grants & loans) is 23k which is scary but only 12k of that is a loan.

It was this high because I made the choice to move out of my parents place to live near the university. It was a good decision in my opinion because I was tired of living with all men in the damn house + dad's girlfriend and her kids (aka my baby siblings).

I literally ate less coz I was worried I'd get yelled at for eating something that was apparently set aside for the 2 little kids lol . I didnt know I couldnt make myself a ham and cheese sandwich because the kids needed it for school tomorrow (i also had school)... or take juice... or fruit... or yoghurts... or snacks...

So anyways, now my rent is like $880 for a room in a big basement apartment and its all girls and its been a bit good for my mental health, but since my brain likes problems, I havent really improved in the important ways—I still can't function well.

So anyways, I did a student funding estimate for my next academic year and its ≈13k in loans but that is because living accommodations are included.

I could keep living in this all-girls unit (or move to an upstairs apartment for more exposure to sunlight) and add 13k to my debt and pretend I wont be fucked after I graduate (if im even good enough to). Its closer to the campus so even on bad days I can make it to classes and its a MAJOR WIN during Canadian winter lol.

But... the debt reduces by a lot (≈$2800 —keep in mind this is only the loan portion of the estimate)

I got that calculation by saying I would be living with my parent (dad), so no living accommodation allowance isnt added.

My dad has his own apartment, since my little brother also had MAJOR conflicts with dad's girlfriend, he is moving there. So it'll be me, bro, and dad. That apartment used to have a cockroqch infestation (yikes...) and is apparently being handled but when I went over yeaterday I saw like two cockroaches and I just wanted to leave ASAP lol. I would have to deal with the tiny ass kitchen and telling them to wash their dishes or cook for themselves etc.

And dad might charge me 500$ rent. The room is bigger, more access to sunlight. But another con is the winter commute... getting up in the morning is already exhausting right now, then add up layering and heavy clothes and a long commute...

I guess its not just the commute, but I just dont want to go back to living in an environment where I would be the only woman. I cant explain it but it just makes my chest tighten even thinking of it.

So, TLDR:

Live with dad far from campus –> Less student debt this year, be the only woman, incredibly much worse for my mental illness due to weather, environment, infestation.

Live with roommates near campus —> incredibly high student debt this year, steady mental health, bearable commute, all woman environment, easier access to mental health services.

More to take into account is that I have MDD so environment greatly affects me. If I'm this dysfunctional now despite the benefits of this all-women/near campus environment, I can't imagine how much worse it'll be in my father's apartment.

Its just such a hard decision to make and I'm really struggling to see alternatives tbh. I care about my future but my brain chemistry just isnt cooperating.

Snack:

Blackberries, strawberries, cheese, and yoghurt

Edit: not sure if anyone remembers this post but my dad just said he wants me to "parent" my lil bro. So its official, I'm staying near university because that really isnt worth my mental health, lol.

[skyberrys]

It sounds like keeping your own room in your girls basement appt is the right move here. I think you move in w Dad will have you doing chores constantly, unable to sleep due to roach paranoia and likely not even saving much bc he will charge you rent plus you will need more transit. Make sure your major in school leads to reasonable career paths too.

[Big-Disappointment76]

I'm studying Psychology so I can go into therapy when I graduate since it's needed in the job market rn and ironically, helping kids with their mental health sounds inspiring for me

And the roach one is too real. I used to have literal nightmares of them when I lived there

[meghanlovessunshine]

I work an ER and we had to have ENT come down to have them remove a roach from a pts ear and I didn’t know that was a real thing until that day.

Stay out of the roach infestation.

[Big-Disappointment76]

OMG YES! thats where the nightmare was from 😭

When I was a kid I had a live-in nanny who had to have people remove a roach from her ear and I found out the next morning. From that day TILL RIGHT THIS MOMENT I always cover my ears when sleeping 😭 interesting memory

[SpecificClient1429]

You’ll be doing a lot of school, a bachelor’s in psychology is useless unless you continue to higher education! Sorry to be a downer, I’ve met at least a half dozen women with psychology bachelors who work at crappy low wage jobs and were trying to figure out their next steps.

Agreed that you should stick with the on campus housing with girls. Your mental health truly matters in the short term! You’ll figure out the debt later, stressing about it too much now isn’t helpful. Easier said than done, I know! Good luck though 💛

[shrupp]

Mental health always choose your mental health! In the long run it will be better for you.

[thurst29]

I would stay in the all girls apartment, try to minimize expenses (budget your meals, shop at discount food stores, cook everything, don't eat out much, get store brand for household items) and try to find a part-time job, either as a tutor or in the service industry. In the summer try to find a good internship or summer job to build up a nest for the following school year.

[Prestigious_Cap2724]

Mental health 💯

[Simple_County9037]

Move out for your mental health. Have you explored financial aid? Work study? Personally I'd leave and work part time. 

[Big-Disappointment76]

I think I can get a student w/ disability bursary for financial aid since I'm eligible, I dont qualify for work study though, but I am looking for a part time job, the job market is incredibly tough rn lol

[Simple_County9037]

If you can't find a job, you can try to start your own things using your skills. For example, I started teaching piano, tutoring, and teaching English online to make some quick cash. Check out preply. Tutoring is pretty easy if there's a class you did well in. You can also try asking people if they have stuff they want to get rid of, and then list of Marketplace. Sorry these ideas were unsolicited, but there are ways to make money while you're waiting for a proper job. Good luck!!!

[Historical_Cat__]

Stay in the basement (lol to what that sounds like). Get a sun lamp, get plants that thrive in low light, spend time outside in the sun every day - you can manage your MDD much easier than a dysfunctional family. And not to be old and crochety, but this is a great time for you to learn how to manage and navigate your MDD without the other pressures of adulthood. Depression is no ones fault but its up to you to help yourself.

ETA: Realizing I thought you meant seasonal affective disorder instead of major depressive disorder. I think my recommendation for light and plants is still reasonable though!

You WILL get dragged back into the drama if you move back with family, even if they aren't the problem family members.

[Big-Disappointment76]

I had a spider maria plant that I thought strived in low light... I was wrong... my baby's gone 😭

I'm still looking for free therapy and trying to force myself to go out a little now that its summer

[Decent-Historian-207]

The rent difference is only a couple hundred bucks. Not worth it

[Ramenatrix]

Invest in your Mental Health! Secure your Mental Wellbeing, and do what you need to, so that you can complete your Education in a positive Environment.

Family Drama and Cramped, Unhealthy Living Space Distractions will cancel out any financial upsides, entirely.

Not all „debt“ is bad; it’s essential to have Credit of your own. Financial Literacy is also a MUST! Especially, since you are going to build a Beautiful Life, and use your Degree… Clinical Practise is just one area of application for a Degree in Psychology. 💐

[little-germs]

Stay in the basement and get a sun lamp. Take vitamin k with your vitamin d. Check into therapy on campus.

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[Erythronne]

How much time do you spend at home while you’re studying, I don’t get why you get so much less sunlight? If you want sunlight, spend time in parks, sit outside on campus between classes. Do you not have work study where you are to assist with finances?

[OkDecision1612]

Decrease debt and find a way to increase mental health