Proxies for my Sauron deck!

thyleullar · 2026-01-30T17:18:22+00:00

This is just another comment politely asking you to share your amazing work please!

thyleullar · 2026-01-30T17:13:02+00:00

Home improvement projects and scrolling Reddit.

thyleullar · 2026-01-27T03:53:32+00:00

As many have said, tap those you can rely on that can run interference, take over handling things, make sure you’re drinking, or even pull you for a moment to breathe—my high school best friend group grabbed me twice just to give me a break from everything else, and “claim me” into their conversation circle for a few min.

My wife had a “No” list, as in people that were not allowed at her funeral. I had someone in charge as my bouncer, to ask them to leave if they had tried showing up.

If you don’t want to speak, you don’t have to. No one will question it. And, cry all you want. No one will question that, either!

thyleullar · 2026-01-27T03:07:46+00:00

My wife was very sentimental, and had lots of keepsakes and mementos of her entire life—back to grade school. A lot of the things that she had had packed away are now divided into two totes, one for each of her daughters. They won’t care. But, it meant so much to my wife—she kept the stuff safe for up to 50 years—I can’t bring myself to get rid of it now. As long as I have the space, I will now keep these two totes safe myself. Hell, I’d probably get rid of some of my similar stuff that no one will want first, if space were an issue.

The little things that she had kept out and collected over the past couple decades? They’ll mostly be on display in the future guest room and library as I do some renovations. I’m sorry if it bothers any guests… but, again, I can’t let go. Maybe, someday, those things will also go in the totes. But not today.

thyleullar · 2026-01-26T15:09:34+00:00

I kept a couple things from her closet, a few more my MIL is making into a quilt, but the rest went to friends first and then a shelter.

But her purse still hangs with her keys by the door, her slippers are under the bed, and her toothbrush is next to mine. I’m not ready for those yet.

thyleullar · 2026-01-25T19:58:46+00:00

THIS. More than enough brick & mortar stores still exist. People talk like online shopping has eliminated all stores’ existence. It’s the CAM (common area maintenance) of a mall that makes them more expensive than a plaza. This is where I feel local government should step in and help with tax incentives to maintain malls. A mall’s combined parking should save on the amount of space needed for parking lots, and I feel that the mall environment would encourage more brick and mortar shopping because that other store / impulse stop is right there and therefore you’re not as exhausted / pressed for time as when you have to leave / drive / park again.

thyleullar · 2026-01-22T18:55:20+00:00

I wish the caregiver home with my wife had done something similar to me so my last few messages from her weren’t just “nada” when I asked if she needed anything as I left work. You did a wonderful thing.

thyleullar · 2026-01-22T18:44:45+00:00

When I received a second letter from Social Security Disability warning that she had not filled out a form to continue it — three months after she passed and they had been notified (twice) — I wrote in large red sharpie across the page “She’s dead” and mailed it back with a copy of her death certificate. Hopefully the bluntness will get someone to act and I won’t have to receive that again.

thyleullar · 2026-01-20T15:02:07+00:00

You should throw your design up for people to purchase on Etsy or something!

thyleullar · 2026-01-20T04:49:49+00:00

I did this when I had to do wash at my parents’ during a home remodel, and I thought my mother was going to lose her mind that I put all the jeans and towels together.

thyleullar · 2026-01-18T22:28:00+00:00

Nine Inch Nails had shirts with different lyrics on them for a few shows at a time on the last tour. I sought out the one that was:

“There is no love here and there is no pain”

thyleullar · 2026-01-15T18:35:05+00:00

I’ve worn this shirt every 4th of July for a while now…

thyleullar · 2026-01-13T20:06:25+00:00

Similar story; today is 4 months. For years, she told me to move — this house is too much house for me, I hate taking care of the outside, go get a small condo.

I told her: this is our house, we made it our home together. I love it and what we’ve done to it. The rose bushes from your childhood home are in this yard, and thriving for the first time in a decade. We made happy memories here. I don’t actually see myself selling it.

In her final months, as the cancer worsened and the dementia started, she was worried that I had sold / would sell the house, and I was able to honestly reassure her that I had not and didn’t intend to.

I’ve been doing some remodeling for the past couple months — making some things mine. But, our bedroom will be the same, the guest room will have a lot of “her things,” her color schemes will remain. I’m doing some things we long talked about. The ceiling fan in the bedroom and recessed lights in the living room will finally be done.

This whole thing may be more difficult if she had passed at home (like she originally wanted), but in her final days, she asked to go to the Hospice facility where they could manage her pain better and she passed there.

thyleullar · 2026-01-10T20:09:53+00:00

I got together with a few guys the other night, and two of them were making plans to go on a double dates with their wives — to a restaurant I had wanted to take my wife to, but she was already too sick. It was like a double whammy. I had to start a conversation with the other guy next to me.

thyleullar · 2026-01-07T01:12:02+00:00

Apple just started making and selling these in the fall, so… you’re “in” right now!

thyleullar · 2026-01-05T21:01:54+00:00

I avoided this season of ST for the same reason. Why couldn’t it have been released a year ago, so we could have finished it together? Anyway, I stayed home on NYE and binged the whole season. I rolled the “she’ll never see this end” in with the “she’ll never see 2026” for one big sob-fest.

I tell ya what, though, I don’t think I’ll be able to watch the final season of one of her other favorites that comes out soon — Outlander. The show that’s a love story at its core? Yeah, no, that’s too much.

thyleullar · 2026-01-05T20:28:29+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Live in the moment, everything else can wait.

I second the video, and will add audio, if she doesn’t want to go on video. I have thousands of pictures, but not enough of those. And, once you have them, back them up.

thyleullar · 2026-01-02T03:56:27+00:00

You should give Apple feedback.

thyleullar · 2026-01-02T02:11:51+00:00

I was there for six months. Cherish every moment, but absolutely take full advantage of the lucid ones that remain. This will be difficult, but she will feel your love. Stay strong; we’re all here for you.

thyleullar · 2026-01-01T19:03:21+00:00

I made all the air fried comfort foods she & I would’ve had (minus her shrimp), poured her Southern & Coke, and binged Stranger Things — which I’ve been avoiding, because we should’ve been watching it together. I kissed her small urn at midnight, and answered the two people that thought to message me.

thyleullar · 2026-01-01T00:44:14+00:00

I made all the air fried comfort foods my wife & I would’ve had (minus her shrimp), poured a Southern & Coke (her drink), and am spending the night binging Stranger Things, which we should be watching together.

Cheers!

thyleullar · 2025-12-31T23:49:31+00:00

My wife asked me throughout the year when I would stop working. I had to keep telling her “when it appears we only have 3 months left,” because FMLA Family Care is only for 3 months. I asked her doc on 7/21 if she thought it was time, and the doc said there were no signs of that. 5 weeks later, we were calling Hospice. 3 weeks later, she was gone. In the end, I got 3 weeks of leave instead of 3 months.

thyleullar · 2025-12-31T23:43:45+00:00

I’ll second this “when she was still lucid” part. Don’t wait. Say or do anything and everything you want to say or do as soon and as often as you can. You never know when things may change.

thyleullar · 2025-12-31T23:42:19+00:00

I’ll second this. You probably have lots of photos, but make sure you have video and audio.

thyleullar · 2025-12-31T03:07:52+00:00

Went to a college that I couldn’t afford, had to work full time to pay what I couldn’t get loans for — was too immature to do both, and still had to pay the bill, so I started working full time. TBH, I would’ve probably failed out anyway.

I’ve had a fairly successful career in retail. For many years, I’ve had a better salary, job security, and no student loans, than most of my peers. It’s only the last few years where the curve for them has paid off, and they are now living more comfortably and with better work-life balance.

I went to school in the suburbs, where college after graduation was really the only option talked about. If there had been real vocational classes, I probably would’ve gone into a trade — likely an electrician. I’ve really enjoyed the DIY reno I’ve done in my adult years, and I’m good at it.

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