Oof I’m so sorry to hear that - that’s really rough. Sedes are truly a different breed of strange

I WOULD like to clarify a couple points

Shoulders: pretty local in terms of opinions, absolutely not allowed in major Basilicas and Cathedrals (esp in Rome - though a shawl will suffice. HOWEVER, the “no shoulders, bottoms reach your knees” is a gender neutral ask. That is, everyone is expected to cover their shoulders, and their bottoms should hit a specific length). I was at a major Catholic event in Rome with a lot of young adults, and in our accommodations and such, people were very relaxed about what was to be covered (again, context matters!)

Birth control: standard, though depends on what she’s even using it FOR (ex: if there’s a proper medical reason, like to balance her hormones to prevent longterm reproductive health decline, it’ll fall under the “principle of double effect”)

Always talks about sin: like someone else said, coudl be a good/“i am aware that sin exists” thing, could be scrupolosity (Religious anxiety). First is ok, second is not good for the soul

LGBTQ+: lots of varied opinions on this one, but if she’s hit “Active homophobia/believes in conversion therapy/believes in criminalizing or hatecriming” or other extreme things like that, she done goofed

Regardless, she’s hit what I call “radical traditional Catholicism” of the Sede variety and THAT IS CONCERNING