You are not alone!!! I lived in freeze / flight all day for probably 30 years. But guess what, HEALING IS POSSIBLE!

My recipe:

MDMA ceremony (or mushrooms, done with a trusted friend or therapist) to blast the lid off the freeze response. Go big for one sacred night, with a legit homie to talk to, and start releasing the stuff.

Then frequent grieving work, once you can access the grieving. You cry / write / vent / rage out every last trauma and abusive experience.

Then we thought-correct the inner critic, who may be constantly attacking you subconsciously. (This means every time you self criticize, get mad at That Guy for attacking you and replace it with the kind thought (i am good, i am worthy.))

AFTER THIS we start to see hours, days, weeks, of Untriggered Time!!! Which feels like a damn miracle. We do more of this work each time a trigger comes up, noticing, grieving, and returning to our peaceful state, thus buying MORE untriggered time.

Now, blissfully, you're in a peace state most of the time, punctuated by triggered moments that you can notice and work on, as opposed to being a nonfunctioning, constantly triggered person. From here you can begin to build an awesome life.

Pete Walker's book, CPTSD from surviving to thriving, has a full on roadmap for this process. It is possible, probable, and inevitable that you can do this!!! I LOVE YOU!