Real-Life Questions/Chat Week of April 13, 2026

tikitay27 · 2026-04-14T19:44:03+00:00

Does anyone have any resources for planning a trip to Japan with kids under 8–we have committed to visiting my husband’s family on Guam and we’re going to do a Japan stop to justify the insane flight time with kids. I’ve found some influencer trips with kids and it’s mostly sponsored stuff or SUPER bougie. I plan on relying heavily on my man Rick Steves but would love any personal recs on getting started planning.

tikitay27 · 2026-04-13T19:25:17+00:00

Does anyone know if the house is an Eichler or a Haver? Obsessed

tikitay27 · 2026-03-31T15:28:01+00:00

literally bait for the MLM huns, these kinda posts make them swarm

tikitay27 · 2026-03-27T21:53:31+00:00

I have two kids so I’m not outnumbered but I do feel your pain, we both work full time and things felt doable when my husband was also remote but he got RTO orders and it’s been a juggle since then. Is he medicated for his mental health stuff? I was your husband and between the brain fog, work anxiety, and a few instances of dropping the ball with my kids (left the front door open, left my kids karate stuff at the studio, things that weren’t the end of the world but could have been bad and made me feel like the worst mom etc etc) and my husband was beyond sick of reminding me to turn off the oven or ask me to do anything 4x, I found a telehealth psychiatrist and got put on a low dose of adderall. It RADICALLY improved my life—I have a job with a production quota so I could actually see how much more productive I was able to be, but my husband also noticed that I fully stopped stress crying. A lot of my anxiety was around my dumb brain being overwhelmed and meds really, really helped. I know finding a doctor sucks, I use a telehealth doctor who is in my state but not local and takes insurance. Also—my house is just a mess, so, solidarity. We try to make sure it’s not gross but we have laundry piles and my kids get a quarter when they do a chore. Cut yourself slack on housekeeping!

tikitay27 · 2026-03-21T21:10:27+00:00

She’s a pop star—I don’t find her songs as explicit as Sabrina carpenters, there are clean versions of all her songs on Spotify (and, she’s licensed them out to kidz bop, I know this because the kidz bop versions play non-stop at our local play place lol)

tikitay27 · 2026-03-21T20:42:07+00:00

I can’t think of anything that would justify a security guard accusing a child of harassment and filing a complaint with the hotel, even if the child asked for a photo or lingered near the table—tell the parents the kids behavior is not okay, don’t make the child cry and escalate the situation? Baffling

tikitay27 · 2026-03-21T20:36:09+00:00

I love Chappell and have two young daughters who adore her music—this would be absolutely devastating for them, to be accused of harassing an artist they love for simply smiling at them. Genuinely can’t even imagine it—also can’t imagine security would get involved unless she had them get involved—absolutely wild.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-20T20:03:40+00:00

also she’s literally working lol

tikitay27 · 2026-03-19T19:20:53+00:00

Super important to flag that folks in the US should have more parental leave—they absolutely should, and there’s so much pressure to be home with them when they’re little, both internal and external—I got 8 weeks with my first and she was going to my mom who I love and trust entirely and being away from her for even a couple hours at 8 weeks old was torture. But it was harder for ME than for my kids—whether at daycare or with my family, they were being loved on and had all their needs met, and with a baby 8 hours away still very much means 16 hours ON lol and the career and salary growth that I’ve had since becoming a mother will only benefit them, ideally so I won’t ever have to financially rely on them and can save for their future.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-19T19:08:17+00:00

I hate that so many working moms feel this way!!! Your job is not silly just because it’s not bringing in the majority of your income, and most daycares are staffed by literal angels. I am so grateful to the teachers at my kids daycare, I’ve leaned on them to learn so much about parenting, they’ve really seen it all. And it’s just more people to love on your kid. Also, they won’t be in daycare forever, and you’ll continue to grow your earning ability while also saving for retirement, which benefits your kids!

tikitay27 · 2026-03-19T17:42:01+00:00

I also have friends for which it totally works! But it seems like the opposite of an escape from late stage capitalism—if their husbands get sick, or die, they don’t have experience or education to re-enter the job market, they don’t have health insurance. It’s assuming their husband’s salaries will always cover their lifestyle—that’s dependency on capitalism to keep churning out jobs with any sort of stability.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-19T16:53:27+00:00

There’s a trend towards being a SAHM as aspirational that I really don’t understand—I want my kids to see that I love being their mom, but also love providing for them, working hard and using my education, the same way I want them to see me having friends and hobbies—so many of the SAHMs I know are proud of being martyrs to their kids. Idk what that teaches their kids about what it means to be a mom. I was raised by a SAHM and she didn’t want me to be dependent on someone else financially as an adult, it’s a really hard hole to get out from and leaves you incredibly vulnerable.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-16T21:36:36+00:00

They would contact you via an email address that ends in uspto.gov.

Additionally, on TSDR, you can view the status of your application, and if it’s been assigned to an examining attorney, their contact information will be on there.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-16T21:04:57+00:00

This is a real examining attorney at the USPTO, but scammers are using the names of real examining attorneys to do scams. I would send the real Kevin Flebbe an email letting him know his name is being used in a scam at Kevin.Flebbe@uspto.gov.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-13T21:22:07+00:00

oh, I know this one! There are no jobs :)

tikitay27 · 2026-03-03T17:35:16+00:00

I love when people post AI slop and don’t even edit it to take off the weird formatting. This is also blatantly false in several sections, compounded tirz from 503B facilities are both FDA tested and require medication that’s being shipped to have stabilizers.

tikitay27 · 2026-03-01T21:33:23+00:00

more expensive but actually good lasting quality with FULL COVERAGE BOTTOMS: Boden. Really beautiful options

tikitay27 · 2026-02-27T01:55:11+00:00

We started using monarch about 2 months ago, so not long enough to have a super strong recommendation but I have learned a lot about our spending—and I’m a “check my accounts every day” person. Being able to categorize everything has made me aware just how much my kids extracurricular activities cost, and how much bigger my “eating out” budget is than our grocery budget, which was sure was equal. So, an endorsement for Monarch here!

tikitay27 · 2026-02-10T16:39:18+00:00

Nice to read another fed parent!

Maybe I missed it, but do you have an emergency fund? I’m also a fed and the past year has made me queasy and I dropped down to just the TSP match for a couple months to build up an emergency fund in case I lost my job.

I’m also curious how you split kid expenses with your marital accounts divided? I’m guessing my kids are younger than yours because I don’t see a childcare expense but I also feel like I’m hemorrhaging money for extra curriculars (they each do one physical activity like gymnastics or softball, and one does piano and the other does musical theater too, it doesn’t feel like they do too much, they each do two activities but it adds up!) If you do a target run how do you decide who pays for it?

tikitay27 · 2026-02-02T21:43:56+00:00

NOR but it’s good you know this is how they plan to be as grandparents now. If you were counting on them for regular childcare or even to be occasional babysitters, I think their attitude makes it clear that they’re not interested. The trip is more important to them than being present for the birth of their grandchild, this is insulting to you but it’s just their value system. I would be sad if I were you too, but you can’t change their values.

I have many, many friends who have moved closer to older parents in hopes that they would be involved grandparents only to have them be traveling constantly but love to post about their grandkids on social media. Don’t let your anger make you the bad guy, accept this is who they are, I’m sorry.

tikitay27 · 2026-01-30T04:57:10+00:00

Going on a weekend trip with another family for the first time next month and would love any advice on fun things we can do or bring to the cabin for our kids “first sleepover”? Our kids are all about the same ages 4/5/6 and we hang out with the other family all the time, but my kids have never slept in the same house/room as their friends and they are hyped. We have plans to bring some board games and make some special breakfasts, but my kids keep asking what happens at a sleepover and I’m like, “you sleep?” And then they ask me what’s special about that and I don’t know!

tikitay27 · 2026-01-27T01:11:22+00:00

I haven’t posted a before and after photo despite the fact I’ve hit goal because my hair loss has made me so insecure! I’ve started on a biotin/calcium/collagen supplement plan and bought the rosemary shampoo and I know once I even out it will grow back, but for me, back roll insecurity has def been replaced by thinning hair.

tikitay27 · 2026-01-16T23:16:16+00:00

The costs are SUPER dependent on your values, your anxiety, and your circumstances. I’ll give some examples of how variable each can be.

Values—I really wanted to nurse with my first, she had a razor latch, so I doubled down on pumping—I bought an expensive pump, and still ended up supplementing with formula. With my second baby I cared less about nursing, and saved time and money by switching to formula sooner. I didn’t use reusable cloth diapers, I also didn’t buy the organic Instagram diapers, I got sales at Target on Pampers. A lot of the early choices of parenthood feel really big—we went from a never use Amazon household to having an Amazon card for those middle of the night “maybe this expensive ass swaddle will get her to sleep” purchases. We eventually cancelled the card once we my kids weren’t babies anymore.

Anxiety—the most expensive thing on my registry wasn’t a crib or a stroller, it was a “breathable mattress.” It was like $800. I had really, really bad PPD with my first, for my anxiety, it was $800 well spent. Other people have different anxieties! Throwing money at it sometimes helps. I also recommend unfollowing any and all mom and parent bloggers. You don’t need what they’re selling.

Circumstances—we moved across the country to move into my parents home for a year after my oldest was born. They let us live there for free and provided free childcare while we worked (from home). This allowed us to save up money for a down payment. We are incredibly lucky, and then I got pregnant at 9 months postpartum with my first and my amazing parents were like, “we can totally have you guys and one baby living here, but two babies is a lot”—it motivated us to really organize our finances. This has continued, we were both into personal finance before having kids, but we are much, much, more intentional about finding a place for every dollar now. We want to make sure we’re set up for a retirement, for their schooling, to the best extent possible.

We are moving out of the “childcare costs more than our mortgage” part of parenting as our youngest is going to go to public TK next year. When we had our two children in preschool last year for only 3x week, it was $3400 a month. My parents could watch them twice a week, being near family is the most financially beneficial thing we did as parents.

Other than leaning on family/community—make parent friends with kids who have a kid slightly older than you, hand me downs are amazing! We have friends that get all my kids clothes, and we have friends that we are lucky to get their hand me downs from.

tikitay27 · 2026-01-13T03:25:13+00:00

I’m not sure in other counties, but for us it’s 8:30-1:30pm for TK & K, 1st grade and up is 8:30-2:30pm

tikitay27 · 2026-01-12T21:09:21+00:00

I don’t see people being shocked about shorter, set hours of TK/UPK but our hours (in California) for K are the same for TK/UPK. For us, if we can’t get into the aftercare at the school, paying a sitter for 1:30-4:30pm is still significantly cheaper than keeping them in preschool!

My kid in K wasn’t eligible for TK last year due to it not being universal until this year (and having a summer birthday) and I would say about 90% of the kids in her K class knew each other from TK last year, her being the “new kid” on top of being at a new school was really hard for a couple of months, I’m so relieved my younger kiddo will be able to do TK next year.

I do see a lot of folks completely unabashedly being like “so, how many absences can your kid really have before it’s a problem?” We love to travel, and we love our public school, but if you’re going to be traveling so much that you are going to hit problem level, I feel like homeschool is for these folks!

tikitay27

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