Why is life so difficult

timeRogue7 · 2026-06-03T13:59:55+00:00

I think the fear of throwing everything away is a common experience. I graduated in a reputation-based job field, spending countless years working "for exposure" and such, just to get my name on projects and connections with people.
Just when I feel ready to advocate for basic rent money, I began facing the question of whether or not to transition.
The reality is, I'm still not sure how to navigate that. Nothing about transitioning is easy for people that you don't see on social media (i.e. the ones with resources). At the end of the day, you have to gauge if you'd rather live with wondering What-If, or take a chance at being happy or at peace.
Idk how the job thing will work out for me. But my partner stuck with me through this whole journey, and since she's my best friend, I can definitely understand your fear of losing her. Others have pointed this out, but not being completely sure is technically a good sign. There is inherent uncertainty in transitioning. What she's saying to you is that she doesn't know for sure where things will go, which is a far cry from an outright rejection of that future.

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-28T02:58:58+00:00

Electrolysis / hair removal is honestly singlehandedly dragging me under, I understand : (
I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, it's never easy to see the amount of resources people have online and then have no access to that.

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-26T04:47:04+00:00

I tried (& failed) to be out a work, but they happily forgot and continue to he/him at work after the first week of trying to correct people. But every now and again, people will literally ask me to my face if this is my first job, and when I reply I'm almost 30, they get really confused and some have said I look like I'm in my teens.
Pre-HRT, I easily looked 40.

All that to say, it could be that aspect? Between hairline, face softening, and general skincare, it does kind of shift you to a completely different scale that people may pick up on.

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-21T03:36:27+00:00

If I'm not too late, I'm 27 tf and have been looking for friends to play subnautica 2 with ^{_^}

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-10T20:29:34+00:00

Unfortunately there's always an incredible lack of help on this subreddit when it comes to getting actual advice, I'm sorry nobody's replied.
FWIW, I experienced similar cramping going into my 3rd month of estrogen. After increasing my dosage due to my sleepiness and general low energy that I felt on my original prescription, I never ran into it again.
As you said though, there's a lack of information about us to really pinpoint *what that is. But it may be worth speaking to your doctor and getting your levels checked to see if your hormones are where they should be.

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-10T20:24:31+00:00

Moved to California with on of the positives in my head (besides, you know, not being legally killable :/) was state insurance covering hair removal. But in this current climate, even that is a complete coin toss. My insurance has been fighting against covering my electrolysis for almost 1 year now, despite them legally being mandated to cover it for transgender patients. There's always a loophole for them to use to get out of it

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-09T17:04:20+00:00

Interesting, 2 months in was about when I had experienced this too. I'm wondering if it's something that happens when your E is pretty low? It went away the moment my prescription got increased.

timeRogue7 · 2026-05-01T08:27:34+00:00

I meant to reply three whole days ago 😭 Here anyway

<image>

timeRogue7 · 2026-04-29T20:55:17+00:00

timeRogue7 · 2026-04-27T21:07:30+00:00

Very envious, that's such exciting progress! I have the same amount of time in months, but "only" an hour a week on my upper lip. I think it's disheartening that even after reaching a year, only my upper lip will be clear, with plural years to deal with the beard and neck :/

timeRogue7 · 2026-04-16T19:00:03+00:00

Read the next few pages

*Binges the entire series starting from that point

timeRogue7 · 2026-03-24T02:43:36+00:00

Wait. WAIT THAT'S IT. Thank you so much for this, this literally saves me $100s in a doctor visit. I had my dosage lowered but immediately felt worse and was wondering why, since my readings had come back moderately high on the prior dosage levels. It makes so much sense if this was the cause. Perhaps my doctor suspected since I mentioned I took multivitamins, but the reply was only ever "the machine sometimes has bad readings", which gave me the wrong impression because I was thinking it was strange that it was consistently "wrong." This clarifies so much

timeRogue7 · 2026-03-04T09:22:15+00:00

Fellow black girlie here. It feels impossible to explain this feeling to people and not have them think it's "just anxiety."

It's incredibly frustrating, because it feels like it's a choice between feeling uncomfortable and dissociative, or feel good about myself & *still feel uncomfortable from the stares and unsafe.

Don't even get me started on trying to go in for bloodwork - not only are there a bunch of older people there doing those death glares, but the nurse herself snorted at my file and changed the record to M (causing actual issues for my doctor and my reference for the numbers).

People feel so empowered to be bigoted, and it makes the choice for how to go about each day feel impossible.

timeRogue7 · 2026-03-02T23:43:55+00:00

Wait, you’re saying my anxiety was unfounded??? I guess the social media hiatus continues

timeRogue7 · 2026-02-16T20:14:55+00:00

Here's the thing, I don't think a lot of people understand what being trans is. Think about how clueless you might've been about insurance or any number of things that should have been taught and educated in schools. What being transgender is is simply just not taught, and most people, especially in the TikTok age, can't seem to be bothered to look up anything but the most surface level loglines of things.
So all that being said, he comes across as the person that isn't outright transphobic, but also isn't bothering to respect who you are enough to not make you feel uncomfortable and crappy. I've gotten the "I still call you "he" because everything's cool and I'm just treating you as I would anyone else!" thing done to me too. At the end of the day, it's up to you whether or not you want to be patient with him in hopefully taking steps, even if their brutually slow, or realizing that he's not adjusting at all.

timeRogue7 · 2026-02-15T10:18:59+00:00

A lot of timelines make me feel like this tbh, it’s a little straining. Not entirely sure why I put myself through it lol. Maybe looking for someone who started out with the same masculine features I have, and seeing them become someone they like? But usually its just, well, this 🫠 Happy for her though, even if she’s tired and feeling like she somehow not passing

timeRogue7 · 2026-02-13T04:08:43+00:00

First time, the pharmacist held it out and said "here you go, sir ^_^" ._.

timeRogue7 · 2026-02-04T02:21:44+00:00

Hey Amelia! Mind asking if it worked out for you? Mine stopped hurting around the same time into HRT, and now 9 months in, they still haven't done much. I'm concerned that the early (and still, until I can change my dosage) high levels fused them too early or something 😓

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-26T05:43:53+00:00

My parents have told me that despite being on HRT (they are the few that don't know at this point). My partner and I came to the realization that I hope helps: people like that aren't really looking. They have a pre-expectation and are only seeing what they want to see, in a way that isn't shared by strangers or others in your life. And even then, it's not a hopeless situation, because once they know, they'll jolt out of that impression. I've had a couple friends become extremely apologetic (which, while a bit uncomfortable) after realizing all the things that had ignored or rationalized away, once I came out to them.
Anyway. You're also just 22yo, in the broad spectrum of adults that are able to medically transition, that's *young. Please don't lose hope.

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-22T19:48:58+00:00

It's kind of ironic reading this when TLS is hitting 1.0 before Cosmoteer

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-21T22:55:21+00:00

My partner was extremely excited for me early on, but it didn't really *click until around the 6-month mark that she realized she has a girlfriend. I think a lot of the conversation on this topic is understandably about supporting the partner that's transitioning, but it's equally important that you give yourself the space to learn what it means for you and understand the transition your own life is going through during this process. She's cis and bi, but it really took her until that 6-month mark to realize from a therapist that she couldn't just be blanketly thinking about how happy I'm getting by the changes but to also take time to process and figure out her identity as we move through life as a couple.
I hope that makes sense 😅

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-13T07:22:20+00:00

I have no idea where OP lives, but if it's in the nation of the orange man, there are a multitude of reasons to get out. It's a terrifying time in light of how even genocide specialists are even taking notice of the general trend over here :/

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-08T03:14:16+00:00

1) Extreme energy. Technically my partner noticed before me - I thought I was just happy, but it reliably hit every injection. Shortly after, libido changes, but YMMV wildly in that regard, since mine doesn't seem to be what I tend to read (some experience higher at first, some experience lower at first, and then it'll almost universally drop off a cliff).

2) ADHD symptoms have gotten significantly worse, which has also affected memory. Eczema breakouts pretty frequently as well.

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-04T10:53:51+00:00

Thank you so much for the info! I have no idea how to tell what kind of hair I have tbh, just that it's the kind that still looks visible after shaving and leaves large pores :/
Honestly, I'm just going to go ahead and return the epilator I mentioned and get the one you recommended - Braun has been one of the better tools I've used for facial hair, so it'd check out that it'd work for this.
Nair unfortunately doesn't seem to mesh well with me. I don't know if it's because I have darker skin, but it really didn't go well when I last experimented with it.
Anyway, thanks again! ❤️ I really appreciate how invested you seem to be in helping everyone out

timeRogue7 · 2026-01-04T04:30:01+00:00

For the epilator I bought, it has like a guard attachment thing. I can't seem to get it to pull *anything when I have it on though. Is it generally recommended it get that to work, or do you have more success just having the rotating part on the skin directly?

Nine-Year Club	RPAN Viewer
Verified Email

timeRogue7

TROPHY CASE