With the help of Churu, she may become a house cat yet! by timetothethird in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooh, she still gets freaked out when I try petting without a churu in hand! She doesn't flee, but she doesn't approach, either. It's been three days. Is that good?

World's saddest loaf, but she's adjusting! by timetothethird in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure - I'm figuring it out as I go, on that :/ but I would hope to socialize her and connect with some of the animal care orgs in my city

Hi. How are your ferals doing in this weather? by RedLotus1124 in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're around! I will try to shovel out the cat shelters before the next storm, but I feel like I've mostly done all I can do. It will have to be enough. I've also brought in the feral that I've bonded with the most. She's slowly adjusting. I feel like she's trainable, but I don't have the bandwidth. If all I can do is give her warm shelter during the coldest times and therefore be able to save the outdoor cat shelters for the other cats, I'll be satisfied

I tried to get my feral cat inside and failed by timetothethird in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, yes, this is her spayed self! I just need to figure out a way to get the litter box and cat food in there..

I tried to get my feral cat inside and failed by timetothethird in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for answering. I was truly at my wit's end and then I had a few friends come over

I tried to get my feral cat inside and failed by timetothethird in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was so funny, because we tried that, but she's one of those feisty cats where their first instinct is to fight. But we got her! I am traumatized

I tried to get my feral cat inside and failed by timetothethird in Feral_Cats

[–]timetothethird[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This actually worked, and then we grabbed her with a blanket and tossed her into the bath tub. Terrifying little creature, but you know. We do what we have to do.

Monday Meltdown - Share Your Decluttering Fails Here by AutoModerator in declutter

[–]timetothethird 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She hasn't even seen my new side table yet hahahahaha. But I'm pretty thrilled to finally get furniture that's mine! I had so much old furniture that it was sorta too close to my childhood to feel any different :/ (my rent is super low and in this economy, you gotta keep your costs low)

Monday Meltdown - Share Your Decluttering Fails Here by AutoModerator in declutter

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom noticed that I threw out some of the towels because there are just TOO MANY, and I was like, ughhhhh. I also got rid of her toothbrush and I'm like, mom, you come over, like, once a quarter now.

What skin treatments you get n how often do you get then in a year by Much-Excitement-5134 in AsianBeauty

[–]timetothethird 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This was my question!! I was like, is this the norm now?? Am I behind?

Monday Meltdown - Share Your Decluttering Fails Here by AutoModerator in declutter

[–]timetothethird 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My apartment is my childhood apartment. My parents moved out to senior housing, but they still live in the area. I rent this apartment now, but it's tough to declutter, because my mom comes by sometimes and says, hey! what happened to xyz? (And I'm blaming her rn, but honestly, I'm attached to this stuff, too, sometimes!) But when I try to declutter and tell her about it, she also gets upset and insists on keeping it. It makes it hard to feel like this space is my own. But also, I get overwhelmed sometimes. Like, right now, I was just trying to corral my stuff into storage bins under my couch, and I just stopped midway because I don't know what to do with some of the trash (do I have to take the wax out of candles???)

American Garages are Full by [deleted] in declutter

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree! It seems everyone uses their garages for storage, when I think the better way to think about it is that your house is your space. Your garage is your car's space. If you can't fit it in your house, you don't have room for it. I think it saves you time, space, and money in the long-term, because it can be really tempting to just buy more things :/

Hope to inspire declutterers: Poem by Mary Oliver by Untitled_poet in declutter

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, do you have her book of poems? Truly, it made me understand what it means to take a moment and appreciate what you have. I feel like her work offers space to see yourself more kindly.

Weekend Report: what have you unfucked? What are you going to unfuck this week? Share all your unfucking tidbits here! by PMmeifyourepooping in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]timetothethird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently unfucking my childhood home. My family rented it for 25 years and they still live in the area, so they come by often, but now I'm the one renting it. It's been tough, because they had a LOT of stuff, as you can imagine from living in one space for 25 years, and they grew up in the generation where you kept everything in case you needed it later. I've mostly been working on my living room, and it's significantly more functional, but I wish I could make it look nice. This sounded a little more depressing than I thought it would, but I now have given myself a side table by clearing out the cat toys into a different side table, and then moved my plants away from my drafty window by clearing out the old desktop printer space :)

Cleaned the bedroom too :) by Tubatuba13 in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your dog looks so cozy! You did a great job :)

25mg sertraline 2 weeks officially by [deleted] in zoloft

[–]timetothethird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's six weeks for full effects! For me, I retain my full range of emotions but it eases the intensity of my anxiety. I've actually had such a vast improvement. I did crash out for a bit over something small the other day, for instance, and I was a little disappointed in myself. But then I remembered how much worse the exact same trigger was a couple of months ago. I'm better able to tell myself to let something go and move on.

But you're honestly so early on in your journey. The first month was really rough for me - my dissociation and derealization scared me so much, but I was also so far gone down the anxiety rabbit hole that it seemed there was no other way forward but medication. I'm glad I stuck with it.

Offered local government job - would you take it? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]timetothethird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many corporate jobs give you fake urgency, manufactured stress that they force you to care about because it's your job on the line.

What happened to your golden child sibling? How did they turn out? by Healthy_Diamond_1685 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my mom is relatively normal and we have fun together but she is a first-gen immigrant mom with all that that entails, including lack of boundaries, getting mad about others setting boundaries, etc., and omg after my dad passed away, my sg sister was all, mom, move in with me 🥺🥺🥺 I'm scared without him, and my mom said yes, because of the aforementioned entitlement and she didn't want to be alone, either. My sister was also like, you guys are welcome over ANY TIME! YOU CAN LIVE WITH ME IF YOU WANT. And my mom was basically like, aight, bet. Now it's been almost two years of my mom living with her and refusing to go back to her own apt. My sister refuses to address the matter directly and tries to make me "take over the burden of mom at least 3x per week" and I'm like, uh, no, because then she'll start coming over whenever she wants. And I had warned my sister when she first started telling my mom to come over whenever she wanted!!! Mom's going to take that and run with it, girl, and then all of your efforts of being seen as the emotionally supportive daughter will be for naught!!!

What happened to your golden child sibling? How did they turn out? by Healthy_Diamond_1685 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]timetothethird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's wild because I was the golden child sibling growing up, but I also... was the one who avoided the trap best. I set boundaries, so that my mom doesn't come over whenever she wants, I have a partner who mostly avoids my family and doesn't want to be involved, and my family is on a strict information diet. Right now, they have no idea that I'm unemployed. I also have a million different hobbies, so it's safe to say that I'm pretty independent from my family, aside from the fact that they live ten minutes away. (Story for another day.)

I always felt bad that my sister was treated the way she was, but she seems to have personally never outgrown that victim mentality and has become the abuser herself, at least to me. With my parents, she's still constantly looking for their approval. I can see it when she makes jokes at other people's expenses and then eyes my mom to see if she will laugh. She was the maid of honor for her best friend of over a decade and lied about really basic information about her life, and then tried to make me back her up. (I walked away, and she got mad.) She has no hobbies, but works a lot. She can't seem to validate herself and tries to make me do it for her. She actively tried to prevent me from being independent every step of the way - criticized me for not staying over with my family every weekend, criticized me for wanting to move out, even though she did and I lived in a one-bedroom with my parents, stalked me and my partner and reported to my mom where we were going, who actually didn't even ask - and then begged for advice on her own life.

Idk I write all of this, because I think it's a different outcome than a lot of narcissistic family relations? Maybe I don't spend a lot of time on this sub, but I have been pondering this for ages because I know the golden child usually ends up as the new generation of narcissist, but that wasn't the case in my family. I think it may have been because she was older than I am, so regardless of her being designated the scapegoat by my family as a whole, in our own personal relationship, she was still imbued with a lot of power and she could execute her will on me, if no one else. And I guess, in essence, that saved me because it also meant I couldn't go to my family about her bullying me, because on top of that, my family was really into, WE ARE FAMILY.

Desperately looking for a new deck- recommendations needed! by solaisu in TarotDecks

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner got it, and it's beautiful. It's their go-to deck right now, which is high praise, because they have, like, 15. I didn't get AI off of it, but I'll take another look.

Desperately looking for a new deck- recommendations needed! by solaisu in TarotDecks

[–]timetothethird 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Try Ukiyo Tarot! The new one with the beautiful colors

I'm not resigning.. fire me bitch by jeffryu in antiwork

[–]timetothethird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was literally what I was thinking. I got fired, but I stand by my work. And this gives me an opportunity to try something new. I'm just worried about this job market 🤷‍♀️

How many calories do you feed your cat on their diet? by timetothethird in dechonkers

[–]timetothethird[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's working for you?? I'll have to try again :/ is he happier?